Anxiety about everything
I just always feel anxious, about everything, all the time. People tell me to "distract myself" but that doesn't work. I'm mostly anxious about my future. I just don't understand how people do it. How do people work without crying and feeling exhausted. How.
@treefrog1234
Hi there. I am sorry to hear that you are so anxious. The unknown can definitely be scary. What you are feeling is normal and there is nothing wrong with you. I get why it is frustrating when people say "just distract yourself". Distractions are nice and all, but they are exactly as they sound, just a distraction. Sometimes when it comes to anxiety, you have to sit with it and ask yourself what exactly are you scared about, what are you worried is going to happen, and what can you control for yourself.
I know that the transition from teenager to adult can be scary, and it is perfectly acceptable response to cry. What are some things you are worried about the most right now?
@Remina I'm most worried about college and work. College is super expensive, and it's going to be extremely difficult getting the money for it. I also strongly dislike working, so I'm anxious about having to do that the rest of my life. Also, just every adult thing. Like taxes and bills and everything like that
@treefrog1234
I can understand how the idea of college and work both cause you stress and make you anxious. College can definitely be costly, depending on the institution that you select. Some colleges do offer grants and scholarships, either based on your grades or your income status. It might also be possible to apply for scholarships. A last resort for college is loans. I assume you are a senior in high school or a level before it? How can you lean on your teachers, if at all, to prepare for the college part?
As for work, I can understand that you don't like working. A lot of people honestly do not like working. It can be tiring at times. But a lot of that depends on the work environment and the people around you. I have had a few jobs in my adult life, and there have been some that I hated and some that I have loved, and that was always because of my manager/boss and my coworkers, and the people we catered to. What are you interested in? Do your interests translate well into a potential job for yourself?
I remember when I was a teenager, the thought of college made me just as anxious. I think it is normal for you to be worried about finances and everything. This shows that you care about your future and you just want to do things right.
As for taxes and bills, I know those two are the things that I will never like. I hate having to give Uncle Sam any of my money haha. But taxes are automatically taken out of your paycheck and at the beginning of the new year after the first month, you typically get a W2. You can go to any tax place or some people have a person they go to every year. There are also websites where you can file your taxes yourself.
Typical bills of an adult depend on your style of living. Some adults still live with their parents and just help pay some of their bills, some get an apartment and pay rent. Typical bills you might have as an adult living on your own is going to be utilities. Any other bills can be car payment, internet, phone bill. You choose what else you want to have as a bill in your life.
No adult that is well adjusted and put together was like that right at eighteen. It takes life experiences to be comfortable. It is also important to lean on adults around you as they have gone through this before.
@Remina I have applied to tons of scholarships. So far haven't gotten any of them. ANd yeah I'm a junior, 11th grade. I have taken many career aptitude tests and really nothing seems interesting. I just don't want to work
@treefrog1234
It can be frustrating when you don't get any of the scholarships. I remember when I applied for scholarships, I did not get any of those that I applied for on the scholarship site. But then I filled out the FAFSA, which takes into account income, and I was able to get grants and some colleges that you apply to will give you grants based on grades, these are things that you don't apply for, they offer it to you when their acceptance of you. I can understand stressing about college right now, junior year is that time where the stress happens for sure. I know that it is hard when you take the career aptitude test and nothing really sings to you. When you think about working, what does that actually look like?
Also for the college stuff, seeing that you are a junior, can you set up a time to talk with the school counselor?
@Remina I've talked with the counselor. She doesn't help much
@treefrog1234
I am sorry to hear that the school counselor has not been much help. Just so I don't become redundant or say anything that she might have mentioned, what has the counselor said or offered?
@Remina She said scholarships and loans basically
@treefrog1234
I see, did you suggest any specific websites or ways to go about getting scholarships? I recommend holding off on getting loans at first. The FAFSA is typically where you get the loans from. When you fill the FAFSA out, you are given grants and loans. Grants is money that you do not have to pay back. Loans are money that you do have to pay back.
Also do you know what you would want to study in college? Many adults push college on people but college is not the only option after high school. I went to college and I do think it is a great experience and you can learn a lot. But college is not for everyone and college can be expensive. There are other options, like technical schools, where you can learn a skill. Or the military or the peace corp. If you go into either of the last two, they pay for your college. Also some jobs will pay you to go to college, for example, I believe Publix (which I know is not everywhere) will pay their employees to go to college, I believe Taco Bell and McDonalds also pays their employees to go to college.
Do you have to go to college? No. It is very expensive, and if you don’t want to go, why put yourself through it? Maybe there’s a trade school that is interesting. Or maybe a community college- take a class to see how it feels.
As for working and a job, there will be jobs you love and jobs you hate. I love my current job so much and am happy I get to go each day. It’ll feel fortunate. But I’ve had horrible jobs, too. Jobs are for learning and for leading you toward what you want.
If you don’t want to work, fine. The question you need to solve next is, How do you make that happen?
If you just don’t want to work a job you hate, think about the jobs you would like. Your profile says you like to crochet. What if you could make money doing that? Would that be an okay job?
@treefrog1234
being anxious of the unknown is natural.
college is not for everyone and honestly when people have no idea of what they may like to do it can be a waste of time and money to chase something you may not like. Many times, we need to try things out to find if we can cope with our choice. Was counselor not helpful because you want solid yes or no answers?
Work is not really that much different from school you go every day. vacations are not as frequent and maybe not all holidays. For many they make work friends much like classmates...some days are fine some suck.... just like I remember school.
for taxes and bills etc you can learn about anything and once comfortable with it not scary. I feel for young people today.
TOO many things' people go out of their way to try to scare others so you will seek their advice or services= $$$$$ for them ... it is the fear type AD process.
@toughTiger6481
Definitely agree with all the points you have made.
Frog:
College is not for everyone and it is not the only option. You can go directly into work and think about it more if you want to go to college. You can look into technical school, often times technical school is cheaper and quicker, and a direct way to learn a marketable skill that can make you money.
And I agree again, that a lot of ads out there are intended to scare you. Please don't let that overwhelm you.
Yes, it is scary in that it is unknown, but it is not impossible!
@treefrog1234
remember life is all about the present! some people worry too much about their present and don't look at their future consequences. however for people with anxiety, they worry too much about their future and feel so pressured that they no longer put care into what's actually at hand: the present.
i know this is a lot easier said that done, but just enjoy yourself where you are right now. pretend the future doesn't exist and try some new hobbies! for me i started rollerskating and crocheting. just know that whatever you're anxious about (work, school, career, etc.) will pass by in a blink of an eye. in fact you'll probably look back and think "geez, that wasn't even that bad. why did i even care so much?". so help your future self out! love and enjoy yourself now so you don't regret it in the future :)
@mimicritter
also I just saw that you're still in high school. remember this is the last year you'll have where you won't need to worry about paying rent, feeding yourself, finding friends, earning money etc. please enjoy it while it lasts. if you're going to worry about being an adult, you really shouldn't be worrying about it now because you can't even do anything about it.
take care!
@mimicritter ok that makes it worse. telling me that after this I have so many more worries. I didn't need you to list even more things for me to worry about. I already worry about finances for college and where I should be working, and my mental health and my family and friends. I worry already.
@treefrog1234
Worrying is completely natural and normal! You want to do best, you want things to go well. I get that. I am sorry that the listener's response above caused you more worry. I can understand that listing things like that does NOT help. You do not have to move out of your parents house until you are ready to do so, so many don't have to pay rent for a while, if any bills at all. Like I mentioned, many children decide to live with their parents and help with minimal bills. Will your parents allow you to live there until you are ready to move out?
@treefrog1234
i apologize since it was not my intention to make you feel worse or feel more worried. i wanted to list all of that out to show how lucky you are right now to NOT have to deal with those things. my point was that your only responsibility right now is to do well in school and graduate.
i understand that you think working is menial and boring, but one day you will have to find a job to sustain yourself and you'll have to accept that. however, that time is far far away from now. now is the time to find a good mental state and find the little things in life that you enjoy doing. doing that NOW will help you deal with hard situations in the future. the plain truth is you'll have to face responsibilities and you'll have to deal with them. trying to dodge the future isn't going to make you feel better either. i'm sorry if that's upsetting to hear.
@mimicritter
I am wondering, are you a teenager too? Just the way you write about how Tree still being in high school. Are you in high school, too?
@Remina
yes. i'm actually around the same age and have had the same anxieties.
@mimicritter
I am sorry you also have the same anxieties. They can be a lot when we are younger.
@mimicritter well unlike you I actually have a job that causes a ton of stress, and I probably have more financial worries than you