How to tell the friends I've ghosted for years why I disappeared?
I've always been socially anxious all my life. I'm bad at maintaining friendships and I'm guilty of ghosting them. I had friends from college that I lost contact with after graduation that are trying to reconnect because of my disappearance for so many years. I have always been ignoring everyone's messages asking about me because it's making me anxious. I feel so terrible being such a bad friend and I know they don't deserve to waste their time on me. What's making me feel worse is they found me and went to my house a few days ago trying to catch up like nothing happened at all (this is the first time they saw me after 5 years of graduation). I didn't explain the real reason for my disappearance because I don't know how to explain it. What would I say like "I ghosted you all because I want to be alone and never be found"? They even asked for my contact number and I gave it but I haven't opened my phone yet because I feel anxious about the incoming messages and I don't have the energy to catch up with everyone. How should I tell them that it's not about them but it's about me? I know I would end up alone and losing everyone around me because of this toxic behavior of mine but I don't feel anything right now, I just want to isolate myself from everyone 😣.
@Iamcha01 Hey there...I'm really sorry about your situation and I understand how overwhelming it can be trying to keep up with friendships and life itself...I'm here for you...We all are, it's just a matter of finding the right listner and I would love to make time for you because we all care about you so much as an individual...please relax, breathe for a while and message me here when you are ready
That's tough, and I understand why you're having a hard time deciding how to approach this. It can be hard to open up about these things. Sometimes it seems so overwhelming that it's easier to withdraw. Be patient with yourself, these things take time. No one is perfect, and I think pretty much everyone can relate to wanting to take space when we're having a hard time. Take it one step at a time as you reconnect and remember to be kind to yourself.