Public Speaking Anxiety
Tomorrow I have to lead a book club discussion for a mandatory work book club. I don’t know what to expect, but I did prepare a 3.5 page recap of the chapter we are discussing. I’ve always had severe anxiety when it comes to public speaking and part of me feels like I can’t do this—but I have to because it’s required. I’m not necessarily looking for advice, but curious if others have similar anxiety surrounding public speaking. 😟
Part of me wonders if what I prepared is too long…or too short…or not good enough. But, I have nothing to gauge with because it’s my first work book club assignment. I considered finding a new job but thought that was too extreme…😆
@Olive1Q82
I think most people have public speaking fears or anxiety. only a few seem totally at ease with it.
I will say it is hard to gauge length of material as many when speaking in public rush thru it. what seems like a lot can sometimes be over very quickly....
I practiced several times and ended up cutting some of what I was going to say. It was stressful, but I got through it. In the end, we often make things worse in our heads. I could definitely work on that.
@Olive1Q82
So this book club is in your job description?
@Gettingbettertoday
also. Are you given time during work to read this book or are you expected to read this on your free time?
I’m making sure to read it at work and not at home. 😊
It’s definitely not part of my job description. My job description was four bullet points, which is why I took the job. I needed something less mentally taxing, but it definitely evolved quickly. I’m not saying that’s necessarily a bad thing, but there are specific things that had I known…I wouldn’t have applied.
@Olive1Q82
How did the book club go?
I suffer from General Anxiety, Performance anxiety, and Social Anxiety.
I would not be able to participate in a book club let alone be the host. My anxiety is so extreme that i would physically freeze, my mind would go blank, my hands shake, and i am mute.
I would harm myself to get out of doing it rather than experience that again.
I can relate. My anxiety causes me to always be looking for other jobs in the hopes of being able to avoid high stress situations that will increase my anxiety.
My anxiety also causes my mind to go blank, which is not helpful considering the number of meetings I have to attend each week. Small talk is very difficult for me.
Overall, the meeting went ok although there were times I felt like I was stumbling through it and was clearly nervous. Ultimately it came down to….well I have to do this whether I want to or not because it’s part of the job.
My anxiety reminds me a lot of the video that circulated of Ms Teen America years ago and her “dumb” response on television. To me, I could relate to that because it could have easily been me but if I had time to prepare I would have been fine. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t always give us time to prepare. People don’t understand the disconnect that is happening in some of our brains in high stress situations.
@Olive1Q82
Hi Olive! 😊 ❤️ Thank you for reaching out for support, help and for testing the waters to see if there are like minded people. Oh my 😳. Please be rest assured that I too, am part of your "tribe". You certainly are not alone in your feelings.
Also, in an effort to let you know that you are not alone, I once read an article in Psychology Today that was devoted to this topic. I found it fascinating as they also had done a survey to go along with the piece. They asked participants to list their worst fears. Well, the results are in and what ranked #1, above all else was the fear of public speaking. This even came before the fear of no longer existing here on the planet. Shocking, I know! 😳
I read below and I see now that you made it through! You did it! *high fives* 😊 and well done my friend. *breaths deeply* Now, if you like, you could kind of do a "mental pat down" and think "woooo hoooo, I'm still here, I made it through. I am capable. I can succeed". It could be potentially helpful for you also to return to those thoughts prior to the next time you are requested to speak publicly again.
While I cannot provide advice, meaning "you should go and do this", what I can offer to you are tips and tricks that I use in daily life that serve me well or things that I have heard that work well for others. Simply a sharing of information, tossing around ideas in effort to be helpful. Please feel free to never subjugate your thoughts, feelings or process for mine.
I'm uncertain if you are allowed to sit while presenting your information. As for me, if that is an option I'll gladly take it. Immediate stress reducer in some small ways just for that first one. It makes me feel a bit closer to my audience, more connected, less on "display".
If I must stand to present material (and even sometimes while sitting) I have found it incredibly helpful to have a large wipe board or flip pad and marker to my left (as I'm right handed). If I kind of get "stuck", overwhelmed, loss for words, the nerves overtaking me even more, it gives me the opportunity to stand or if already standing to shift my body, face, attention to the flip pad for a moment. I pick up the marker, redirect my attention as well as the attention of the audience to the flip pad while I write down a key point for them and explain that key point. I take a deep breath as no more eyes on me, all eyes on the flip pad. I pull it together, feels like a nice "reboot" and then I move on.
This can be considered even ahead of time if one likes. Pre-planned little breaks as to when to do this, key points and it gives me little moments in between while keeping my audience engaged. I'm providing movement, an additional medium for communication and a moment to look forward to while presenting the information.
Something also for me that is highly person specific is listening to uplifting/powerful music before presenting. If I don't feel like I can do it, sometimes those lyrics, the artist, tell me that I can. Whomever wrote those lyrics are providing to me some powerful positive affirmations. Weeeeeeeeeeee weeeeeeeeeee! 😊
Big ole' *high fives* 😊 for being prepared ahead of time. This is most wise. Writing our thoughts down on paper (and especially hand written) activates a different part of the brain and a part that is strongly associated with memory and information retention. Doing so helps us to know the subject matter even better. For me, that truly is the biggest part of the puzzle, above all else, as I have a little equation that I think of for that. PP = OP (Proper Preparation equals Optimal Performance).
Sometimes the biggest and most helpful gifts of all can be to provide resources for another, to direct our friends and teammates towards even more knowledgeable sources than what we are as people. I would love to do that for you today! My gift 🎁 for you, potentially even more valuable than my time spent here with you today is someone by the name of Vinh Giang. You can do a youtube search for him and I find him to be nothing short of amazing!
I find him to be one of the best communications and public speaking experts I have yet to see. Even to watch him is so entertaining. Watching him is a learning experience as well as true joy! He teaches and well and on a variety of different components of what it means to be a highly effective public speaker.
Olive, thank you again for this amazing forum post. I hope I was of some help and support to you today. If not, hopefully many others will come along and contribute to your fantastic post and offer up their thoughts for you as well as to potentially many others that may come along this post and see the value in it.
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
Thank you so much for your response. It really means a lot to me. 🥰
I found everything to be very helpful and I will go back and re-read it multiple times. I often do this because I gain more knowledge and understanding in the re-read. 😊
I will check out the person you mentioned on YouTube.
My workplace actually does high-level workshops on public speaking called Ty Boyd Workshops. The last time the facilitator was in she suggested that I join one of the sessions. Honestly, I’d have to progress substantially past my fears and anxieties just to be able to join this workshop. Also, most people who take the workshops are senior-level VPs. That’s not intimidating at all. 😆
However, it would probably be helpful to read the materials.
Thankfully, the meeting was on Zoom. I’m glad it’s over and as far as I know went fine. It’s hard not to overthink these situations and imagine that “everyone must think I’m an idiot.” Even though…that’s probably not true.
I read recently that most people are too preoccupied with their own struggles and lives. Therefore, they are most likely not thinking about you much. We tend to imagine people “looking at us critically all the time” when the reality suggests otherwise.
I think the fact that it was on Zoom definitely helped.
Fun fact: I really did quit my last job because the level of public or group speaking became too much for me. 😬 My anxiety was through the roof at group social events. It was awful. Really, really awful. 😰
Zoom calls help eliminate some of that public speaking anxiety, but only to a certain degree. In the corporate world, it’s not uncommon for thirty people to be on one call. 🫥
I love one-on-one interactions because there’s less pressure. If you start saying something that others don’t like, you can self-correct easier than in a group setting where people can “throw more stones” so to speak. And once that happens, it’s easy for me to say “never again” and just find a new job. 😆 I recognize I cannot do this every time. Part of being an adult is doing things we do not enjoy…
Thank you again for your kind response. It was very helpful and encouraging. 😊
@Olive1Q82i think you will do well ..just keep memorizing the cues and practice the delivery minimum eight times infull at a very slow speed. God bless
I practiced all day and read through it slowly and timed myself. Then, I cut some of the information just to make it more manageable. 😊
it wasn’t perfect, but I did it…🎉
My anxiety also prevents me from being able to public speak. Every other time I’ve tried I get an anxiety attack. I wish I could give advice. In my High School, I was always excused from public speaking in front of the class and I would only present in front of a teacher. Even then I could barely speak. I’d say, “uhm” a lot, and I would shake causing my voice to sound shaky. I would be fighting back tears even when the teacher was nice, patient and smiling at me. Really it’s pathetic.
I just hope you’re ok, and can find a way to present. Just know there’s someone out there who understands exactly what you’re going through!🫂🤗
No, it’s not pathetic at all. Some things are just really challenging for us and we shouldn’t feel bad about that.
I think so of the fear goes back to the fact that we are not all alike. Everyone communicates differently. I can talk for hours and hours with someone, but I don’t enjoy groups and one-sided speeches. Perhaps part of it is not getting any feedback—I think social cues are very important to me. I wonder if there’s a correlation between those of us who need social cues and lack of public speaking skills.
thanks for sharing! It helps to know I’m not alone. 😊
