Overcoming Fear: 5 tips to tackle it!
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Last week we discussed in the weekly prompt: What is your biggest fear? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed discussing them with you. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you. Given that discussion, in this post, I am sharing a few tips that we may find helpful in tackling our fears and feeling more courageous and resilient in facing them.
Fear is something we all experience at some point in our lives. Whether it's fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of the unknown, these emotions can be overwhelming and hinder our personal growth. But fear doesn't have to control us. Here are a few tips on how to manage your fears and regain control over your life.
1. Identify and Understand Your Fears
The first step in managing your fears is to identify and understand what they are. Please take a step back and some time to reflect on your emotions and thoughts. A couple of questions to ask yourself to reflect:
- What specifically triggers your fears?
- Is it a certain situation, a specific outcome, or a deep-rooted belief?
By understanding the root cause of your fears, you can start thinking of ways to deal with them. Once you have identified your fears, it's time to face them head-on. Avoidance only reinforces the power of your fears. Taking small steps toward confronting your fears helps you understand and tackle them better. Please know courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the willingness to face it.
2. Develop a Support System
Managing fears can be a daunting task, and having a support system can make a significant difference. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you. Share your fears with them and seek their guidance. Sometimes, talking about your fears out loud can provide a fresh perspective and help you gain new insights. For example: Participating in the Sharing Circle or participating in the weekly prompts in the forums helps us share our thoughts, experiences, and emotions as well as get support while developing an understanding and being there for each other to listen to and to support.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Fear often arises from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay present and focused. Engage in activities such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises to calm your mind. By staying in the present moment, you can reduce anxiety and gain clarity in managing your fears. Here are some mindfulness exercises that you may find helpful as well.
4. Challenge Your Thoughts
Fear is often fueled by negative and irrational thoughts. Take a step back and challenge these thoughts. For example: Ask yourself, "Is this fear based on facts or assumptions?". By questioning your thoughts, you can gain a more balanced perspective and reduce the intensity of your fears.
To challenge your thoughts, one step you probably can take is setting realistic goals. Setting some reasonable goals can help you break down your fears into manageable steps. Start by setting small goals that gradually lead you toward overcoming your fears. Celebrate each milestone along the way, as this will boost your confidence and motivate you to keep going.
5. Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity
Fear of failure often holds us back from pursuing our goals and dreams. It feels discomforting and overwhelming. However, it's important to understand that failure is a natural part of life. So, instead of trying to escape from it, Trying to embrace failure as a learning opportunity helps you feel more confident to face it and it can be a stepping stone towards success. Remember, some of the greatest achievements in history were born out of failures. Failures tell us what didn't work for us and give us ideas that might be able to work out. It is part of the constant learning process.
Managing our biggest fears is not an easy task, but it is within our reach. Managing your fears requires taking action. Trying to apply the tips shared above may help you deal with these fears. Please know that managing fears is a journey, and progress may not happen overnight. It is a non-linear process. Stay committed to your growth and believe in your ability to overcome any fear that comes your way. By identifying, understanding, and confronting our fears, we can transform them from obstacles into opportunities for growth. Also, you are not alone in this journey. We are all here with you on this journey. Please reach out for support, share, and discuss while taking your small steps and celebrating your progress.
This week I want us to reflect and explore this topic more and tips to manage it that can help us understand and deal with our fears. Let's get started and all thoughts are welcomed!
Join us in the Anxiety Support Chat every Monday and Tuesday!
I’m honestly too ashamed and scared to share my biggest fear. It’s hard to talk about. It’s harder to deal with, because my biggest fear is a repeat experience. I try to tell myself it won’t happen again, but it did happen in the first place. I don’t know. I feel like it’s something I’ll never be able to manage.
@akay06 I hear you akay <3 Thank you for sharing parts of your fear. It takes courage to open up about something so difficult. Repeated fears can be especially hard to face alone. You aren't defined by past experiences - there is strength and resilience inside you. We are all here with you to listen to and to support. What aspects of managing this fear do you find most challenging?
@ASilentObserver
My biggest fear is something that I'm afraid to face head-on (and if I did, I'd or someone else would be dead!). Death. Death of my loved ones and myself. Death is a fear that I cannot control, but this phobia has given me so much negativity. "What's the point of trying in things when we all die anyway?" There are so many ways to die, so many unlucky chances. I hate how anxious and stupid I can be.
I totally understand feeling anxious and stupid about your fears. That being said, a lot of people fear death and you are definitely not alone in feeling this way! Everyone will have different approaches in thinking about what the point of living is given the potential to die, but my take is that your life, however brief, makes a tremendous positive impact on those around you. A baby that passes away after birth makes a mother, a nurse, or a passing stranger feel joy in the few breaths it takes. A child reminds someone of their nostalgic memories. A person in a vegetative state is a living, nonjudgmental presence for their carers. You can make someone’s day so much better just by existing. Maybe a person sees your shoes and remembers how much they like that style. Maybe someone having a bad day loves your smile. Maybe you remind someone of their son or daughter or mother. Maybe on your worst day, when you haven’t bathed in weeks and are slumped over and exhausted, someone sees you and realizes they are not alone. Life wouldn’t be so precious if it didn’t come to an end. You have so much that you bring to the world! Don’t be afraid to let that show 😊
Hey, megalomentaurus, i know you feel absurd to think about such a thing but you aren't alone, I have this fear too that maybe if I go there something will happen leading to my de th. I sometimes fear that maybe I have some serious health issues and you know this is too much to deal with, due to this I think I am even having panic attacks, due to this fear. But my friend, don't think of that too much, it will only ruin your present moment and mental piece, talking from experience.
Sending you lots of love🫶🫶
@Megalomentaurus Thank you for sharing your fears and struggles. It takes courage to face feelings of anxiety and discuss such difficult topics. Your concerns about death are understandable. Please know you are not alone in grappling with these big questions. How have you coped with these fears in the past?
@ASilentObserver
I haven't coped with them well enough at all. I mainly start to cry and screech, as I think about death, if I see any one of my loved ones (like my pets for example)... I only cry more as I know THEY will leave me one day. I won't be able to hear them, see them breath, or feel the joy around them. They're gone from me. I think the fact that I can't have fun and love them anymore when they were alive makes my eyes water. Their soul is sent to heaven and I don't know if they can even hear me if I ever looked up and called out "Goodbye." Just writing this makes my eyes water, I can already feel it. It's that drastic and horrible of a fear that rips me away from happiness.
@Megalomentaurus I understand this is an incredibly difficult thing to think about. The love and joy we find with our loved ones, both human and animal, is so deeply felt. It's heartbreaking to imagine that one day being taken away. You clearly care so much. I am here with you in this and you are not alone. <3
My biggest fear came true and has changed my life and not for the best. I am having a hard time getting past it because it will be with me forever. I have other anxieties and fears like doctors and dentists because of past experiences etc. I have always been able to tackle fears but now i dont care i avoid them and it isnt good to do that
@blissfulTouch29 I'm sorry to hear that your fear came true and has impacted you deeply. Facing deep fears can take tremendous courage and strength. You've shown resilience in tackling fears before, and I have faith in your ability to heal in time. What thoughts or feelings most stand out for you as you reflect on this experience?
@ASilentObserver
Anger, Pain, Sadness, etc
@ASilentObserver
I am feeling upset today. The last couple days have been harsh, karmic and challenging for me. I need rest & to take a break from the world.
@bloomingtea111 I am sorry to hear that bloom. I understand this last couple of days have felt harsh and challenging. It can be difficult to feel so burdened by the world at times. You mentioned needing rest and a break - is there anything else you need to feel supported right now? Know that you are not alone in experiencing tough times, and that this too shall pass. We are all here with you to listen to and to support.
what if you don't know *why* you have a fear?
Like I know if my parents are later then they say they be home (regardless if they give me a time frame or not)-I'm get major panick attacks because I have no idea where they're and I'm like afraid of like a police officer coming to the door and telling me they're in a car accident and died or are in the hosptial. I don't think my parents ever been in any accidents in 34 years I been alive. But my sister been in a few car accidents-one not caused by her and the other one accidently caused by hers. And I think Mom's parents along time ago was in a car accident in the States.
I know where 2 of my fears come from:
fear of heights when I was a young child (maybe about 4)-I was at the Traveling Exhbiton theme park in my province (called the EX for short) and I went into I believe it was a fun house and on the 2nd floor of the fun house- there was a slide and somehow I ended up head down on the slide so for some reason I got a fear of heights with that-even though:
1. I dont mind our above-ground swimming pool ladder
2. I didn't mind the long twisty slide that one of our parks *used* to have- even though it took me a long time to actually use it due to the said experience
The other thing I know where I have a fear from getting trapped in the doors at the back of the bus when I was going to college because I could sit in the back of the bus in those days but I got trapped (mostly the bookbag) but sometimes my arm or leg as well-in the back bus doors due to the bus dropping the Young adults (18+) off at the college is as packed as a Sardaine can. So because of that I rather exit through the front doors then the back doors but since I'm able bodied, they expect me to go through the back unless I'm either w/ my Mom and we have her "personal shopping cart", or I'm with the blind friend I mentioned on the other thread.
@Disneywoman It sounds like you've experienced some really frightening situations that have led to feelings of fear and panic. Having fears about your parents' safety is something that deeply affects you. Reflecting on past experiences can help us understand where feelings come from, even if the exact reasons remain unclear. How do you generally cope with worries when your parents are late returning home?
@ASilentObserver I don't really have a way of coping except, if I know where they're were, I might try calling the place like if they going to a Christmas party- i might call the host's place, because either if its church related, I can find it in the church directory, or my parents leave the phone number for the place when I'm out. I think I might have called my Mom's hair dresser once, when the hair dresser ran her own hair place. Beside July incident I think I mentioned in the other thread-a more recently one was I guess last Month, and my parents drove my sister's car to her apartment and then had to get the train home and I'm started to get concerned about how late it was getting because Mom "promised" she would make supper that night even though it would have been a better plan for me to make my own supper- so I eventually had to call my sister to see if she had dropped off the parents yet- the three of them just were about to leave the apartment when I called.
I have a theory of why they're late coming home from Christmas parties. This is only my personal thought due to my experience with being at family get togethers. They're those types of people who I believe think its like "rude" to be the first guests to leave. Yet when I'm with them.. if we're at someone's house for "too long" I get fidgety, and cranky..last time (at a family reunion) I had a complete meltdown infront of my same-age cousin, and her parents, my Mom's brother and sister-in-law- I did apolgize to them just before leaving. But you would think, my parents would learn by now that when I'm getting cranky to leave early, instead of letting a meltdown happen- but nope still the same old parents who can't "leave" before someone else does. And these relatives don't currently, live near very accessible public transit so to even be dropped off at a train station- I would need someone to drive me over there- like the next time what am I suppose to do? ask permisson to ask Mom's sister if I can leave with her and Grandpa (if the car isn't too full) and she can drop me off at the Train station in her town and I can figure out how to get home from there*? (I don't know if I would need to change trains at the Union Station in the heart of the city going from where this Aunt lives)
@Disneywoman It sounds like you've been struggling with coping when your parents are late coming home. Not knowing where they are or when they'll return causes you a lot of anxiety. I can understand why you feel the need to check on them, as not having control over the situation must be difficult. You're very aware of your needs, yet it's frustrating when others don't recognize the signs that you're becoming overwhelmed. Their way of socializing is different than yours. We are all here with you, Disney and you are not alone in this.
@ASilentObserver my parents do know the signs but they think what *they* want is more important- then what might be good for me. Like last time Mom wanted more time to look at her high school's yearbook the only year book materneal family has of the "forgieners' school" that Mom, Uncle 1, Aunt M and Uncle 2 went too.
@Disneywoman Their actions must bring up difficult feelings. It sounds like you're feeling your parents prioritize their own wants over truly understanding your needs.
