Anxiety about Dying and Death

@RachRN

That is pretty deep. :)

Death is not an easy subject for anyone. I come from a faith-based background so I do believe in an afterlife. It's not something I can say "oh yeah, it's there" to prove it to anyone. It's just something I believe based upon experiences I have had in my life. And I think that's what solidifies my belief - the experiences I've had beyond just actually having faith.

I have gone through stages in life where I haven't cared about death, where I've feared death, where I've been mad at death. It all changes based upon my age. But the older I get, the less fearful I become. I noticed that about my grandparents. They seemed to...I don't want to say they were okay with it, but more that it was just what was going to happen and why waste time worrying about it. Especially as you get older, why do you want to waste your energy being afraid of the future?

I don't know. It's tough. My husband is atheist, and he believes there's nothing after. But I think he also appreciates that I believe that his dad is still looking out for him "from beyond."

I'm sorry. This isn't much help, I'm sure.

@RachRN

Our spirit lives on and focus on now not on later

@RachRN

Our spirit lives on and focus on now not on later

@RachRN

We never do...today one life went away, tomorrow may be my turn at the surgery...as a nurse you may know that there is nothing after death if you experienced anestesia...it is total blackness and bliss, absolutely nothing...so as we die we lose everything, past memories, future dreams, we absolutely lose ecerything, it is not like a dream but blissful, peaceful total blackness...so rest in peace goes well with that...

@RachRN enjoying life to the fullest. It's a cliche but it's one of the ways to feel less anxious at least. We're all different but what works for me is making a bucket list and when I've achieved all of those things I can go happily kniowing I did everything I wanted. Getting up at dawn, being occupied physically and mentally, surrounded by positive people. D e a th is inevitable true. But perhaps less scary when we've been present and had lots of experiences in life?

@RachRN I don't know the answers to your questions—how to cope with the inevitable and how to find peace.

But I've been thinking about the same things myself because of a book I was reading. The book doesn't have the answers, either, by the way.

I've been looking for books about listening, and I thought this one by a very experienced psychotherapist might be good. It turned out to be mostly about dealing with the idea of death, although it does contain some good examples of listening too.

So I thought to myself this is a book I could never recommend to anyone, because so much of it is about death. And then within days you posted this thread, so now I wonder if you might find it interesting: Creatures of a Day and other tales of psychotherapy

Charlie

I relate to your post very much. I also worry about death. It got really bad after working in a convalescent hospital- my job was in Activities, encouraging people to participate in things like music, games, etc. I got to know and care about a lot of residents. It was a great job... until some of them died. I did not handle it well at all. It made me question so much. I also found it hard to connect with residents, because I knew I'd be watching them deteriorate and it was all I could think about. I ended up quitting, for several reasons. I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping well, my stress was high and so was my blood pressure. I wasn't really living anymore, I was just existing. I now have so much more respect for people who work in this environment, some of them for decades.

What helped me is that I try to take comfort in doing what I can here and now to take care of myself and my family. Eating healthier, taking walks, enjoying the moment. It sounds a little cliche, but it can help.