Anxiety and loneliness
Ive struggled with anxiety for almost 10 years its second nature to me. Recently more than ever Im now anxious of being alone, I cannot deal with it. I struggle to make friends as it is as no one understands me and my anxiety and they cannot deal with me. I panic about social gatherings and travelling etc. Im stuck in a circle here because I fear now Im always going to be alone and I cant meet anyone like myself. I put myself in a situation where I look for a relationship because thats solving my loneliness, but it doesnt solve anything because they always leave me because Im too much with the panic attacks. Does anyone at all relate to any of this? I want to be happy but I feel I have no one around me, no friends or anything. I want a closeness and bond with someone but its like Im not allowed that. I dont want to be sad anymore I just want someone to love me for me but this has been going on for so many years now that Im just giving up.
Sorry if this is long story but
Can't believe how much I can relate to this .Again this is the exact thing I'm doing through . From your reply to having no friends being lonely and no one to hand around with I have this at weekends all time . Most social interaction is online .
Again I go out meet people around those all time. My work is interaction of people and public . In reply to someone what said they are confident around people at work I'm really not and I wanna know how you are and why you arnt when your not around anyone? Are you a shy person? I don't understand your response.
I would like to be more confident. I want more friends too .I'm lacking girl mates . This has been problem for while and everyday seems same line nothings changing around me. I'm waiting on support and counselling that's not till next week but it's only first stages of about to start it .I need someone to listen and understand. I don't go out much on weekends .I feel like my weekends are wasted away .I really don't .I don't wanna be like this and no one's else does .I want to make friends. I'm outgoing and socialise. People at work go out all time or up to stuff .
Going out .It's not the money for me. I have it just no one. I'm lonely and isolated with no one to see and my few friends are out or at work .There busy with there lives or live far settled .I don't wanna be like everyone else who are stuck up or have friends for wrong reasons. I know not everyone's like that but I wanna be myself and discussed this and getting help .
I would like help in this. I know what's missing I need to go out more socialise but don't have the friends and people just see me as shy that's why I'm in doors cuz no one I feel wants to know me .I socialise with people like me but I don't have friends who arnt like me . I have those at work I have common interests in and they might be my type of people but I know they are bitchy and gossip and not surrounding myself with that. Like my supervisor is like that .I get on with her .she seems to have friends and go out all time .Maybe someone can hang with but I'm no gonna be any good for her and you could say how do you know but I know she like me when I'm confident and next move on to someone else who more fun which I've had .People just look at me as shy unconfident .I got alot more to give . I would be a good friend but like you all I feel same .Weekends I usually drink cuz it seems my only time to have fun and I like to on my own . Relationships hasn't been as difficult I seem to meet guys more then the girls and starting to get genuine cuz of how I've seen things and moved on .
Does anyone relate to this? If so you can reply to me
@TreaureSeekers3
Definitely relate to it. You can't choose your colleagues, and the concept of making new friends outside of the context of regular everyday interactions like work or class or commute is very weird to me. How do you just go up to a stranger and say hi without any reason to talk to them?
@saladboy97 I can't that's the thing . I never said I could. I don't know how you do that. Yeah I don't know. Some people I know from work can just do that when they don't know they person haven't been there long .I've been there for while and not been able to do that .I know there different to me but You can't make friends in five minutes it's true friendships. I see this at work and like there great friends . Yeah you can pick who Yiu work with .I get on with everyone on my floor which is lucky. Just they all are really young and have other friends and always look at me as shy and quiet and not wanting to be friends with me. That's why not taken it further but then how can you say I know .it's risk but I don't wanna get hurt .I work retail and see people all time .Thought going out everyday I would meet new people make friends but not. That's why joined groups. Got supervisor who I gave common things with but I know she can turn on you and don't need that. I might be wrong but she's not who I wanna be. What do you think
@TreaureSeekers3 story of my life. I do no have female friends and thats what I crave the most, just the feeling of being able to sit with another woman and talk about anything and everything and have a laugh. Im very shy myself too, countless of times Ive been out in a social gathering and people have looked at m and thought how weird was because I barely speak. I just dont know how to be myself. I work in retail too and honestly its so hard interacting at times, I dont give any eye contact. I wish I knew everyone to come say hi and have a coffee and a chat with because seeing all this makes me feel so much less alone and that people understand what Im going through.
@Natalie1107
100% with you. I've always wondered why it's easier for me to make better friends with men than with women. Maybe fear of judgement. I hold a few people close, mostly family. I constantly check in and do nice things for them. But it seems like I dont get a whole lot of that in return. Probably because I always put on the persona of being totally fine. I have tried tried opening up but they don't relate to my inner struggle. Im so happy I found this site. Seems we are all on the same wavelength.
@Natalie1107
Wow, we have more in common than we think, I'm actually a retail manager and interaction with customers or people I dont have to form any type of bond with is easy, but if I want to get to know someone that's where its gets hard... it's the same for males too I think, I've only had one Male friend my entire life we grew up together and made it to about 17 once we finished high school that was it .. we grew apart I think, had different interests and I've never created a bond like that since. I've also been the guy with friends who were girls but no girlfriend a chunk of my school age life I was labeled gay because of that, it didnt bother me then or now for that matter because I knew/know who I am but no I cant build friendships or relationships with neither so.. now what??
@limeJar5946 really? I think its awesome youre a retail manager, me personally dont want to be a manager in retail because its too much stress, Im sale based in retail too so thats a lot for me to take on. What kind of retail are you in? Nothing wrong with that, I know a lot of guys that purely get along with women then they do men. When its the opposite sex its just less drama usually. Kind of lost with it all, its hard to keep that balance. I wish I could finish work and go visit a friend and chill and chat all night. The problem is that no one in person would ever really admit their problems and thats actually why we feel lonely, no one speaks up.
@Natalie1107 I'm aactuall an asst store manager at Walmart, one thing with me is I definitely can manage stress, it would probably be catastrophic with anxiety to add on unmanaged stress so I stay away from that.. that's true I've probably not said any of this to someone in person but who do I have to tell this too you know? A therapist or something like that is pretty much this? They dont know me personally either..
@Natalie1107 I relate very much. It is what pushed me to join here. I desire companionship but feel anxious about finding someone and actually even having a conversation. Right now I am trying to do mindfulness as I realized I spend too much time projecting the future rather than just experiencing now.
The future will come and I need to be open to it.
@easyCranberry9762 Ill always desire companionship too, everyone wants to be loved and its the most amazing feeling ever. But its like how do you keep that going? You feel too weird and that somethings too wrong with you to hold onto anything. I always hold onto other people and never let them go because I know what its like for someone to leave and act like you never meant a thing to them. I have to carry on being kind but being kind to myself at the same time. Tell you what though, comparing myself to others is what I need to stop doing. I know Im worth more but I need to remind myself of that. The cycle never ends does it. Theres so much love I have to give but its who I give it to is the question.
@easyCranberry9762
I love that, but if we just aimlessly go through life, the future will most definitely happen but do we have to contribute anything to get the result we want, or can we just ride it out? I'm not going to get to deep into but I am a person of faith and I think in my head that God has a plan but something tells me that I'm supposed to make some of these decisions on my own cause this cant be the plan?? Am I wrong??
@Natalie1107
weel I lately isolate myself
I feel like my life is all fear
@conscientiousPineapple1782 I isolate myself every single day too, I go to work and go home and thats as good as it gets. I fear bad things will happen if I do things socially or get myself into situations I cant get out of. Its weird because I get so excited about the thought of doing something exciting with someone and then when the moment comes... I bail out and never go anywhere. Im stuck in my house and my own head.
My name is Zuleika. I am 24 and usually active and love doing things outside like hiking, swimming. I have been so busy with my job that I have not been taking care of myself. I am trying to lose weight and get my old body back. I also want to be in more shape. I was so much more active when I was younger and being pear shaped does not make it easy. I am also self conscious about what I wear and try and cover up my body. I am working on that.
I wanna feel great about my curves! I don't feel great about them right now. I just think there so big and soft and rub together. Even sometimes sitting down doesn't look good since my stomach rolls over the top part of my jeans. I know I'm not unhealthy and that it's fine to have this much fat. I used to be a lot more in shape and less thick when I was younger. I still was incredibly curvy and had a really big butt and big thighs and all. But overtime the fat just kept on coming. I found a pair of old dark blue jeans that I would wear a lot!! They don't fit but I remember wearing them and I would look so good and they would accentuate my curves!! my butt would look so big and my thighs were not touching as much. Only thing was that they were super tight so it made me have to walk a little oddly. Yeah I felt like a model wearing them.
I also get worried or nervous when metting new people and always think they are gonna judge me because of my body or the way I dress.
Any advice, tips, anything is appreciated greatly!
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