I don't know what's happening to me
So this started about a year ago when one day I was alone at home and I started crying vigorously. I don't know what happened, I have no idea what triggered it but all I did was lying on the floor and crying my eyes out. I was so confused after that as to what happened because I had never experienced such a thing. I went to a therapist for one session but couldn't continue because of money issues. After that day I started feeling a bit sad I wouldn't call depressed because I am not sure. I just started to feel numb and would feel like crying for no reason. Then something happened in my personal life and I started blocking these feelings and surprisingly it worked. Now fast forward to today. I had a really important exam and I went to my exam centre 30 mins before the actual exam and I don't know what happened my heart just started beating and I started crying and I went blank during exam. I was never a kind of person who would get tensed or paranoid before exams. This was the first time that it happened with me and it was so sudden, I didn't expect it. I came home and I went to sleep and I was feeling so scared in my sleep, I kept dreaming about the paper and I remember feeling paranoid in my sleep. I don't know what to do. It was a very important exam and my parents expect a lot from me. I have no idea what's happening.
@understandingClementine7283
First of all, thank you for coming to share your truth here. When our mind does certain things that are out of the ordinary, it can be shocking and confusing. Then, not having access to the care you need becomes an added frustration.
Knowing how important school is to you and your family, and as someone who can relate, if I were in your shoes, I would email your professor and apologetically explain to them what happened, and see if theyre able to offer any lenience.
This is a time to be patient with yourself, because youre being brought through new experiences that you havent quite learned how to cope through yet. Theres a learning curve, but its temporary. ♡
A few things I learned about coping through anxiety/panic attacks:
(1) Focusing on your breathing is the most helpful and vital thing. I refer to this as DBBB— (Deep) Big Belly Breaths.
(2) From head to toe, releasing tension in your body in this sequence: face, neck/shoulders, arms/hands, stomach/hips, legs/feet/toes. Some, like myself, also find it helpful to tense everything at once, hold it there, and then release the tension one by one, from head to toe as mentioned above.
(3) If your body feels warm, place something cool on your skin. Vice versa.
Keep in touch with us. Were here for you. ♡
