It's been a very difficult few days, I don't know what to do
I can feel my anxiety creeping back into my life and I'm afraid. I've been living alone for the past 3 years. I've managed to do ok for a while, but this past week it feels like I'm starting to drift into old ways of feeling scared and lonely.
I had an aunt that recently went into life threatening surgery. I am disappointed again by my dating life. My job depresses me. Also, this pandemic has made my life even more lonely and isolated than before, which I didn't think was possible. I don't know how to cope.
All I can do at home to avoid feeling depressed and having anxiety attacks is sitting quietly to meditate, drinking large amounts of calming tea and taking hot showers. It feels like my anxiety is starting to control my life again and it sucks. I would like to do more with my time, but it feels impossible.
I don't want to be on drugs but I can't stand these feelings of feeling like I'm dying. I just wish I didn't feel so isolated...
@diplomaticWest1394
I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I can understand how hard it can be to face anxiety and trying your best to avoid it. You said that you've been doing a lot to help with it but you feel like it's controlling you. That indeed sounds very tough when it interferes with your daily activities.
It might be tough to deal with your job and relationship along with that as well. This pandemic has a lot of people feeling lonely and anxious. I totally understand why you feel this way.
I think it might be nice to surround yourself with more people since you said that you're living alone right now as you mentioned. If that's not possible due to the pandemic, maybe you could try talking to people online, contacting friends and family, indulging into your hobbies and doing things that make you happy.
I'm also linking the 7 Cups Anxiety Self-Help guide here. Maybe going through that might be of help to you :)
https://www.7cups.com/anxiety-help/
Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing here. I hope you feel better soon. Please take care 💖
@diplomaticWest1394
Isn't it odd...well, not odd, maybe it's fascinating to me... whatever we want to call it - that we can be alone and be happy, but when our anxiety kicks in we feel isolated. In a normal world, I spend a lot of my time alone and I'm really comfortable with it. But when my anxiety goes crazy, I feel like everyone is a million miles away and no one understands me.
When your anxiety makes you feel bad, come here. I get that it's sort of a snowball effect... family, job, relationships... it all getting bigger and bigger until you just feel terrible and nothing seems positive or happy. Come here and write it out or join a sharing circle or live chat. It's sooo helpful to be connected with other individuals that are feeling the same way. Consider 7 Cups to be a tool you can use to find some peace along with tea, showers, meditation.
@thoughtfulmomma yea it is so weird... I've been doing so well recently being quarantined was a different experience for me. But I feel the shaking and anxiousness coming back. that even when I was spending time with people that I'm comfortable with I couldnt help but isolate myself into another room, I was shaking trying to calm myself but at the same time so annoyed. I want to spend time with them but sometimes... it feels like there is this wall and ik that its in my own head, and that sitting, laughing with them would be fine. I just can't bring myself out of it sometimes. The worst part is I don't even know what triggered it, sometimes it just happens.
@diplomaticWest1394 im so sorry that is happening please know youre not alone and im here for you you can message me. if you can you could get a pet to keep you company
@diplomaticWest1394
@diplomaticWest1394
It sucks to feel your anxiety coming back and feeling that it's starting to control your life again. I know what you mean. Remember: healing isn't linear, you will have relapses but that doesn't undo all the growth you made. Stay strong in this rough patch
Thanks so much for reaching out everyone! I have been feeling a bit better, perhaps because today Friday and I have some projects keeping me busy. Though there still is some sadness and apprehensiveness with that weekend relief seeing as I never know what the weekend will bring. I try to take it in stride as best I can.
@diplomaticWest1394
I hope you're having a good weekend and you're trying to find some joy and peacefulness in at least a little part of it. I hope it's sunny and warm (but not too warm!) and you're able to enjoy a walk, a laugh, and a good cup of tea. :)