Ok so this is me?! 1st Anxiety attack but it was a long time coming
Found out I have anxiety yesterday I had an anxiety attack in the middle of nothing happening. I thought I was having a heart attack! I was freaking out inside I was soo scared! I called for my mon to come help me(she stays with us). I called her three times she finally came. I couldn’t stop shaking my arm went numb my face went numb my leg went numb my whole right side. I started to slur my words and then they wouldn’t come out and then I couldn’t think straight. Dizzy dizzy lightheaded sit down on the step try to talk again drool came out. And jumbled slurred words. Don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic look it up it’s not a heart attack on is it? How? I’m young I’m in shape I’m healthy I work out daily I eat good I’m a personal trainer. Help,…mom! … Mom!…. MOM!…what? I,…think,…I,…need,…to… go to …the… hospital(slurred but it came out) (I’m not having a heart attack I wouldn’t be able to talk!) what can you walk are you ok? Umm …idk …I…don’t… thinkso ok wel go out the side door let’s get to the car!
mom ran back in to tell my oldest son to watch his brothers so she can bring me to the hospital don’t panic it’s ok everything is ok you can talk better now it’s going away my arms stiffened up why is it stiffened up now? My head feels weird my mom comes out gets in pulls i
out and starts blazing to the hospital runs a red light.. mom you don’t need to run any lights it’s ok everything is going to be ok calm down we’re going to get there. I know but it’s taking too long we need to get you there.
my question is why am I almost certain I’m dying and I’m trying to calm people down and not myself I didn’t want to go anywhere I didn’t want to do anything I wanted to sleep after it was all said and done and instead of saying no to the date I had planned with my bf I didn’t want him To feel bad so I went tired as all hell and he didn’t even notice! What is wrong with me why do I not try to stop myself from being stressed out for other people? I’m losing myself trying to be the person who stays normal for others I can’t do it anymore I know what I’m doing I see it now but I can’t stop myself? I’m so sad all the time I’m so unmotivated I’m so excited to start something and it takes too long(more than 5 minutes and I can’t sit still I have to move do something else come back later I have to do something for someone else so I don’t think of what I’m supposed to do? I’m all over the place and I hate it I can’t even help myself because my thoughts are everywhere! I’m so sorry to everyone and myself I hate it!!!
Anxiety can be difficult and sometimes, we can have anxiety even without a specific trigger. One of my worst anxiety episodes that overlapped with a depression episode happened without a specific cause. I was under a lot of smaller stresses at that time and none of them felt as if they warrant the response I was having. I will encourage you to reflect what your stressors in life are, and find ways to talk to your friends and family about it. It may also work with listeners here on 7 Cups too!
The reason why will likely elude all of us, but I think the fact that your logical brain was able to function despite your emotional self breaking down means that it wasn't your logical brain that was causing that panic mode, but rather your emotional self. Reflecting on your stressors, or other approaches like breathing exercises, meditation, and etc. can all help potentially. I will encourage you to try and see which method works betrer for you as you go. Good luck! 💕