One reason I an nervous for the new year is.....

I'm nervous for the new year because my dad passed away on New Year's Day when I was 10. I'm 19 now. Every year that goes by, I feel like it should be getting easier, but it doesn't. It feels worse. I think about how long it's been since I've last seen or talked to him, and how every year, it's just another year since he's been here. And it hurts, it's hard and I hate it. I think about how I'm supposed to be joyous like everyone else when it comes to New Years, but instead, I dread it. I hate how much time has gone by. I hate that as I grow up, I realize how much I don't know about him, how much I'll never know about him. I feel like I'm missing a stranger most times. I hate how he's not here and how he's missing out on so much. I hate that I can't talk to him or hear his voice anymore. I hate that every New Years, I'm reminded of what I've lost, year after year. It hurts. I hate it. I wish I could be excited for New Years but I can't.

I'm nervous that me and my wife won't rebound our relationship next year. In spring she said that I am like a child and life with me is very hard. We decided to live separately for several months and at that time I learnt how to cook, how to drive a car (I passed the exam and got the driver license). In October we restarted our life together and I cooked for us, cleaned our flat. We had a good time together but she couldn't kiss me. I didn't know why. And one day she left again. We met next day and cried a lot. She said that it's still hard for her to live with me. But she loves me, she loves my character, my jokes. She loves to spend time with me. But she has very nervous work, she helps her mother and brother a lot and maybe I don't help her enough. And this is true. Sometimes I fear to drive a car and she drives. Sometimes I want just to sit on a sofa and watch TV with her but maybe she want go outside. I feel nervous almost every day of my life since my childhood and this feeling annoys me and doesn't let me to live a full life. I visited a doctor and now I take antidepressants. But sometimes I feel depressed and stressed. I can't wake up early and I fear it, because I just don't want to do on my work (I have a flexible schedule).

And another bad thing that I fear to tell my friends and relatives about this situation. I fear that my parents and friends will judge me, my mother will cry, my old grandparents will die due to heartbreak, because they love my wife so much.

hope i can better myself this new year. i have always said i am my worst enemy. I need to spiritually feel better about myself in 2018

I'm worried about not being satisfied with myself next year. I know I hold very high standards and expectations for myself, and sometimes hold those to other people, and the harder my life gets, the more frustrated I become, and the more my emotional wellness is threatened. I'm worried I won't be okay with all I'm doing, and "others will be okay with you" isn't enough comfort for me. I'm worried that I'll fall into yet another bad friendship and have my heart broken yet again. More than that, I'm worried that I'll be a terrible friend to someone else. Overall, I guess I'm worried about not growing enough, and becoming heartbroken. Again. Ugh. Lots of anxiety.

There's a lot of changes and responsibilities coming my way, so I hope I can handle them without getting too overwhelmed like this year.

I worry that another year has gone and Im getting older

I'm nervous about the new year because it means that time is going by so fast. I'm not a little girl anymore, and everyone is going to die sooner or later. Life is moving too fast.

I am scared I willwas commit suicide !!!

Alot of change

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