Social anxiety and loneliness
Introversion, shyness and the horrible communication skills has contributed to my social anxiety. Feeling envious of other people who can hold a conversation to berating myself for not like them, it has been one emotional ride. The stinging feeling when you don't turn out to be what others expected out of you, the desperation to be liked to feel the void called loneliness, dejection of being sidelined, feeling lonelier among your so called friends and most importantly to depending my happiness on other people. I have been ashamed of myself for so long for being the quiet and boring one. I'm writing this to take one step towards accepting myself for who I am. It's okay to be different and not everyone's cup of tea. It's okay to have a few friends and opening up to the idea of enjoying my own company more, trying to be happy on my own, steppings out of comfort zone and brushing up my non existent social skills.
I understand how you feel. I experience the same.
@wakinglight Yeah, just trying to embrace myself.
@sensitiveSailboat
We're in the same boat. It's a hard cycle. I will literally wake up in the middle of the night now dreaming of a memory of a conversation from weeks ago and beat myself up for sounding so stupid and not being able to hold a normal conversation. This actually happened last night and I haven't be able to get back to sleep yet.
@akay06 I get it. It's easy to focus on your shortcomings and beating up yourself over it. I'm trying to be kind to myself despite all my mistakes and not overpressurize myself over it.
@sensitiveSailboat Mine is more of avoidance. I just don't feel comfortable around people. I do have trust issues and an attachment disorder, something my nee therapist wants to resolve. I just want to buy a cabin in the middle of nowhere and live out my days in peace. That's the main effect of my avoidance.
@jordanc0856 I hope you will get through this.
@jordanc0856
I like your idea of a cabin in the middle of nowhere.🏞️ I feel a lot more relaxed outside the city and in nature. Nobody there to judge you or disappoint you and so on. Though, I also know there are nice people out there. So, I hope we can find them. Good luck with your therapy! 🍀🍀
@sensitiveSailboat
I feel the same.
And yes, we should accept ourselves just the way we are.
@Vintagechoc Yes, trying to love myself the way I am and also trying to be a better version of myself.
@Vintagechoc
exactly, we're all different and that's what makes us special. We have to stop getting stuck down in the negatives about ourselves and stared focusing on the positives. Then people will start to navigate towards us naturally. (Ps. I should also take my own advice)
@sensitiveSailboat
Hi sensitive! I am glad you're starting to accept yourself! Keep it up! We need diversity in the world. Never forget that.
@akay06 Thank you so much.
@sensitiveSailboat
You did a great job communicating in this thread. I too feel ashamed of myself and my communication skills sometimes but maybe our communication skills are better than we think? Maybe we're just apt to not give ourselves credit for the things we do well while beating ourselves up for our perceived mistakes? Thank you for your courage in writing this post. You sound like a wonderful person to get to know.
@kindMelon4118 Thank you so much. I would like to get to know you too. I have dealt with the most annoying questions like why you are quiet. I have been called stuck up for not speaking much. I have struggled at something which is normal and basic for most of the people. I had to accept that I am naturally like this. Sometimes I have the calmest expression on my face and I'm panicking inside my mind.