Waiting for the day to feel like a normal person
I cannot wait for the day that I stop locking myself in a room all alone for the fear of going out and seeing people. I cannot wait for the day that I stop overthinking about what I said to someone, being afraid that I might have said something wrong. I cannot wait until I can freely say what I want to say to anyone, especially in person. I cannot wait to walk into a room filled with people without feeling a zillion butterflies in my stomach. I cannot wait to stop hating myself over things that I've said or done or about my body or how I look. This is like all a dream to me. Must be wonderful to feel like a normal person. The worst part is that I'm not sure if this day will ever come :(
@quickwittedNest5808 welcome to the club...😔😔😔...
@CalmRiverWaters sad isnt it
@quickwittedNest5808 extremely sad, I can only envy confident and charismatic people or thise who don't care and don't give a darf...I have had so many different anxieties my whole life which made me miss on my life...years are passing time is ticking and i realise i am missing on life and tgere is not much chance left...i feel frustrated, robbed, sad...and so much more...why coukdn't I have had a "user manual" for life, a protector or money to give me confidence and security...i had none of that and I am a man so marrying a rich man was always out of the question...I had to learn to constantly live with my different anxieties and kind of had to do it but is far from quality life and it made me isolated...I never had fear of hights since I was an amateur mountain climber but here I go I have fear of hights now...agoraphobia...also fear of the future, insecurities and many more varying from time to time...yes indeed, it is no fun at all...
@CalmRiverWaters reading all of that breaks my heart. My heart goes out to you and everyone else experiencing so much anxiety that it's keeping them from doing what they want to do. Im very sorry to hear that and the best thing I can do to help is to listen.
@quickwittedNest5808 thank you from my heart, no need bothering you, is is part of my life, unwanted but as a good friend of mine once told me "it's best to deal with your own sheet"...so i guess it is just my role of the dice in "tge game of life"...thank you for your compassion and genuine understanding..in our case saying "i feel you" is really true...😔😔😔
Its down the end of the tunnel and I c light there.
That day is coming soon :)
@LadyInSilence Thank you for being positive. I really hope so... btw your username seems familiar
@quickwittedNest5808 I hope things get better for you. I can relate your post. Its a terrible existence to drudge through feeling this way.
@RawJosh Thank you so much, hoping the best for you as well. Although it sucks to feel this way, atleast we both know that we aren't alone in this
@quickwittedNest5808
I've heard that alot :)
didn't mean to sound cocky..sorry
I totally understand.
Anxiety consumes me. People often hear the word anxiety and assume that I cant pick up the phone to call someone. I know that some people feel that way and that everyone presents differently- but its so tough. They Assume that I cant speak up for myself. Assume that Im ‘attention seeking or that Im occasionally a bit worried about something and simply ‘anxious. I am more than simply anxious. I am crippled with an impending doom, a crippling paranoia which feels like someone is sat on my chest pushing harder and harder until Im dizzy, until Im struggling to breathe. An irritability floods my every core, and everything bothers me. If a noise is too loud it is enraging. If a noise is too quiet it is irritating. When people speak to me I am so overwhelmed with anger that before theyve barely said a sentence to me Ive snapped theyre head off to try to end the conversation. People sat too close to me makes me feel like I am drowning, people stood too far away makes me worried Ive done something wrong. Imagine spending every single day feeling like those around you dont love you? Imagine spending every last second with loved ones over analysing whether the look they just gave you means theyre angry with you, when really, the only person angry at you- is yourself. Imagine crying every time you have to do something new- choosing to stay in old, awful routines at something you dislike because the thought of change sends a crippling pain to your stomach and an overwhelming feeling of nausea consumes you.
Every day tasks become excruciating. Sleeping is impossible when your body clock wakes you at 6am after it wouldnt let you sleep until gone 1am despite the fact youve nearly dozed off all through the day.
I totally understand @quickwittedNest5808
I've heard that I'm not alone, and there's others out there going through similar struggles...but it doesn't really feel like it most of the time, even if I know it to be true. After reading this, tho, I don't doubt you understand...which is bittersweet...
@hardworkingCup
@hardworkingCup
@quickwittedNest5808 I am so sorry that this is happening to you, but when I say that I can relate, I really can. I get anxiety attacks when I hold the door for someone and they don't even respond. I have ones in the middle of the hallway because I think that I do something to them. Whenever my friend responds with "ok" I think she is annoyed with me and just wants to stop talking to me. I don't believe my friends when they say they love me. It really consumes you having to worry about what no one else is worrying about. And I can't wait for that day too. But you know what? What we have to do is just think. Think about what that day will be like and how happy you'll be and just breathe. The day is coming, and I'll gladly wait with you. But, you have to have something to believe and I know that you do, just wait for that belief to lift you up and make you realize that all of this is to prepare me for my happiness. Because you will get it one day.
@Hurtpeoplecansuceed546 Thank you for your positivity you sre so sweet. I really appreciate it and I really hope that anxiety wont get thr best out of you! Im surprised with all these replies, guess I'm not alone after all!
@quickwittedNest5808 You are so welcome! I just hope that you feel better! And thank you so much for your wishes. And I completely understand, I'd never imagine that anyone would understand my worries and it calms me that you understand and that others too! You are never alone! People are here for you😊
@quickwittedNest5808 I feel like that constantly. I think to myself: "Why can't I do even the simplest things like other people?" But in the end, it's not your fault to be constrained by the limitations of your condition. There are things that we can't control and this is one of those. We can only take care of ourselves and each other and hope to get better with time, which, I am sure you will :)
@NorahLeimon thank you you too
@quickwittedNest5808 this described exactly how I feel about myself. I want to be able to live life without fear of being judged. I want to have the carefree spirit of a little kid. I want to be myself on and offline. I want me back.
