Questioning

@littleb4t

I think when we are looking for answers we start to see well it could be A or B may fit etc.  A big issue with self diagnosis.   It is hard to tell maybe a professional could help you figure it out. 

      As for loosing touch with people who "could"  remember things from childhood. Even if you had people around looking back and such, I found in comparing with siblings and others who were there the reality is almost no one remembers the same way .... we do not get clarity IMO when 3 people saw same event 3 different ways.   

@littleb4t I have been going through similar stuff, studying and trying to understand what autism is. I also discovered random actions I do every time, were kinda of stimming, and certain symptoms I thought where normal and part of daily life, I took multiple tests all which said I showed signs of either neurodivergence or autism. So I get confused, I'm I lying to myself and I'm actually fine, so it's really confusing for me.

@littleb4t
Then stop treating it as if it was a bad thing.
Having Autism doesn't mean that you have a disease or that your life is worse than others.

It means you just think different, see the world with another view.
It's just a condition, a mental disorder. But there's nothing wrong about it.
People can still make their lives with it, and prosper with it. I've done it for 20 years, and I'm sure far more others have done it too, and longer as well.

Of course people have an stigma about it, because people are horrible, as usual.
But does it really matter, though? In my case, not really.

it just means you're oversensitive to some things and have more interest in others. Like you're more passionate about the things you're interested in, so to speak.
I don't see nothing wrong with that.