Like an empty black hole that's sucking up resources that i don't deserve
I have been irritated for most of the day. But I feel better now that I have had some medicinal canibus.
@JadedPann and @NeWoman
I hope we all feel better soon. It's already been a trying week. Much peace to us all.
Well,THAT was a fun week...
Last week Wednesday (02 nov) I woke up to a flat tire. Now, I can rebuild an engine with my eyes closed... and it took me 4 tries and 45in to even get the truck jacked up in the right spot. That just set my day off, and set the tone for the next week.
Thursday I still wasn't myself, brain fog all day.
Friday I had a close call with a 5ton truck cutting me off in a 60kph zone, leaving about 10' between the vehicles once I got down to the same speed he was rolling around the corner at. I had it out with thier general manager over the phone, but the rest of my day I was just cranked way up and all out of shape.
Saturday I was starting the decent again... I was just slowing down and missing things.
Sunday I didn't care to do anything, and didn't do anything...
Monday my brain was doing 6 things at once and I couldn't concentrate, brain fog had me missing corners and having to do a lot of detours.
Tuesday my brain was still doing 5 things at once, and I could barely think at all.
Wednesday (yesterday) I was running on empty. I had a hard time going up and down stairs, everything hurt. I made it through the day by caffeine alone. Ideations all day long.
Today I'm doing better than yesterday, slowly clawing my way back up to daylight and being human again. Still having ideations. Thankfully it's a 3 day weekend, hopefully I'm closer to level for monday. I see my GP again on the 29th for another adjustment... 3 weeks left... one day at a time...
@Phoenix84 Sounds like you're holding on tooth and nail. Another meds adjestment in a few weeks. How have they been so far?
@ladylazarus1971
First med was only starting week 4 when it was stopped cold turkey
2nd med started 07 sept at 50mg, increased to 150mg on 23 sept, increased to 200mg on 20 oct... and have been all over the place still... this last week has just been chaos. Hopefully we can either find a point that this one works, or try something else soon.
New to the community. it's sort of bittersweet to see people who understand so deeply what I'm feeling. It's been a tough week and my goal has been to avoid meltdown. naturally, it happens anyway, but the days are easier than the nights. I wish the best to all of you.
@okmikay Welcome! Glad you found 7 Cups. Report in as often or as little as you'd like, and explore all the options there are here to help. I hope you have more and more positive days AND nights.
I feel like I don't know who I am anymore
@Sydneylove
You are a warm and loving person, who just need a bit more love and understanding from those closest to you... and as a member of this community and someone who craves that same love and understanding... I'm sending a warm hug your way :)
@Sydneylove Maybe if that question is one you cannot answer, could you ask yourself who you want to be? Perhaps that might guide you to a more secure place....
I feel drained and angry at everyone cause they say they're there and that I'm loved. Really? Where are you? No one messages me. No one checks in. No one sees how I'm dealing. If I'm so loved where are you and how are you showing it?
@WarmHugsKill It feels really awful to hear people tell you they are there, but not actually feel or see them in front of you or in your inbox. Hang in there!
Better then yesterday and hopefully tomorrow will be better. Yet unfortunately its not all in my control sadly. Ecach day I try my best.
Today I am struggling. I feel completely isolated, and I'm sure it's my fault. Where do I go when I've closed all the doors?
@LikeTheLotus It's ok to hide under the blankets and ride it out. It doesn't feel like it now, and often it's hard to believe, but sooner or later (hopefully sooner), at least one of those doors will open. Not being an optimist is okay, but so is being realistic. You may be isolating now; however, it won't last forever. Try to hang on, sweetie.
I've been feeling alright, I'm not manic, hypomanic, or depressed, or even mixed. So right now I'm neutral, besides being sick.
I feel edgy and worried, I don't know how to feel or what to believe today
@ashleykeller Remember deep breathing! I know it sounds hokey, if you're not accustomed to doing it. But just concentrating on something that closely can help take you back out of your head when it's uncomfortable to be there.
