What is wrong with me
Well I dont even know where to begin. I'm so confused. I dont know what's wrong with me. I feel like I cant stand myself anymore. I tend to lose the people I love because of my anger. I go from 0-100 in a second for the smallest things. I could lash out at someone and then feel horrible 10 minutes after, to later do the same thing the same day.am I bipolar? I feel like I cant trust people. I feel like people just want to hurt me. I feel like people dont care about me, like they dont love me. What is wrong with me? I can't even seem to hold onto a thought before a million more rush over. I just want to be happy
@zaskiansjs Working out what's wrong is really a job for a professional. Your tendency to lash out and then feel horrible a short time later could be the result of any number of medical conditions, and no one on the Internet can give you medical advice.
For example, I just read this:
Many individuals report or exhibit increased irritability (e.g., persistent anger, a tendency to respond to events with angry outbursts or blaming others, an exaggerated sense of frustration over minor matters).That's from the official description of major depressive disorder. And that was just one example. There are any number of possible causes.
You mention bipolar disorder, and it is one of the many possible causes. A professional would only diagnose bipolar disorder if you've experienced a distinct period of abnormal over-excitement, racing thoughts, and things like that.
To recover from this and just lead the happy life you want, there are effective treatments including medications and therapy, but exactly which medications and which types of therapy would depend on the diagnosis.
Charlie
@zaskiansjs It's worth appreciating that you're thinking about your anger with a great deal of self-awareness. It makes sense you would get angry with the purpose of protecting yourself when people might breach your trust but it's important to remember that in real life, we cannot control others through fear as easily as it looks in books or movies. If someone is going to be loyal to you, they will be loyal to you with all the doors and windows open. If someone aims to backstab you, that's just a trait of their character and the best you can do is work on differentiating the authentic people who mean well and the fake people who aren't really there for you.
It takes a lot of bravery to trust people after you've been disappointed a few times. It's important to remember that sometimes it's not you against the world but you against yourself and choosing your battles wisely. When you mention feeling horrible 10 minutes later, it makes me wonder what would happen if you set a 10 or 15-minute timer starting from when you notice yourself getting angry and slow down your reaction, decide how to act on it then?
Some believe that anger is a result of having high expectations of people and having those expectations not come into fulfillment. It sounds like you're definitely wanting to improve your relationships and have an easier time keeping the people you love around. It's possible that lashing out over the smallest things could be because of pent-up anger that's built up over time. Analyzing everything that gets you angry and being patient with yourself goes a long way. There's a lot of resources online at your disposal and I believe in you being able to heal eventually so long as you give yourself enough empathy and time.
