SHARE Your Bipolar Journey with us here

No matter how hard I try to hide i always end up standing up in the lime light.... i just hate it..... because everytime it happens, it happens for the wrong reason..... either my mania makes me magnificent or a stupid in front of everybody...... i just hate it..... because either way its wrong.... i dont deserve any of it.... neither the limelight nor the unnecessary insult...... u just want to be a normal adult....

It feels too heavy now a days...... the highs and the lows.... the unstabilities.....

I haven't been diagnosed yet but I feel I could possibly have it, it started a year after I got molested at a young age, I started to get depressed and the more I went through with other things like mental, physical abuse, sexual assault the worse it got. I would get randomly happy and jump from idea to idea like I'm sure thats where I get my drawing creativity flow, I started running away and stealing and just randomly hyper and irritability I would cuss, I use to be aggressive and break stuff. Then days where I got low I would lay in bed, empty and weak, I wouldn't eat or talk to anyone, I would think about suicide which I've attempted lots of times, I would cut myself, I didn't have energy and I would breakdown. Now it's getting weirdly worse ig in a way. I've gotten in one depressive episode this whole week I didn't eat, didn't leave my bed, I showered but I broke down because it was to hard. Now the past three days I've been having highs I've been jumpy, laughing a lot at stuff thats not funny, talking fast, screaming out random things that catch my attention, having high sex drives and today I wanted to steal a car. Irritability I still swear but I scream at everyone or anything that doesn't fit well with my happiness or doesn't go as planned, I throw things, hit sometimes it's rare I even told my boyfriend to fuck off over nothing. My boyfriend is worried and my mom doesn't believe me she thinks it's spiritual.

Hi everyone- I am new to this group. I am not bipolar, but my husband just got diagnosed with it a little over a week ago during, what I guess we now know is/was, a manic episode.

I guess I am just looking for advice and maybe someone to listen to me who isn

I am not sure I am bipolar.. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, recently a psychiatrist mentioned bipolar 2. However, I don't experience hypomania the way it's described. I get highs and lows but the highs are short lasting and I've learned to practice self control (resisting self harm urges And 2 years no cuts :) ) so I haven't done anything affecting me negatively when I'm in an elevated mood. In the past I have been very sexually active and done risky behaviors. I get racing thoughts and have a boost of confidence, but these just last hours and come and go through out the day. I also feel these elevated moods when I have 4 or less hours of sleep. I'm just not sure my symptoms are present enough to be considered hypomanic, especially reading other people's consequences due to hypomania, since I haven't had any.

I am still talking to the psychiatrist to get a better understanding of what I experience, but I'm also scared of being bipolar and not knowing whether I'm happy or hypomanic.

I had my first breakdown/ severe depressive episode at 15. I couldn't eat or sleep and stayed in bed and cried for two weeks. I somehow made it through but looked anorexic for a while. I married a man at 22, I thought I knew and loved. He soon became emotionally and verbally abusive to me and my son as he grew. I was officially diagnosed as bipolar in my mid thirties. My husband was embarrassed and convinced one of my doctors to take me off my meds, then I had another breakdown, which soon sent me into mania. I lost more weight and had an affair with a co worker. I was also drinking and popping Xanax to self medicate. Our marriage was over, he had been cheating long before my mistake, and just before our 20th anniversary he left me and my 16 year old son for another woman and filed for divorce. He did this behind my back not having the guts to tell me face to face. I took him back for a few months shortly after and it was a colossal mistake. I threw him out and saw my son relax. I also met my second husband and we eventually married. My son is my anchor, my husband my support. When you've tried to suppress 20 years worth of bipolar episodes, I can no longer control them. The medicine helps shorten the duration and amount of episodes but it doesn't fix everything. I have other health issues which make life tougher, as I take a dozen medications and have to rest as much as possible. Life is tough but I keep on keeping on. It's all I know to do.

Nice gif expressing exactly the bipolar condition...

I do not have a paper diagnosis...

At first, the swings were roughly 50-50% up and down, now after major depression set in the swings are 75-25% betweel low and hyper...

I wish you all well and thank you...

@MistyMagic

I have schizoaffective disorder with major depression, OCD, manic bipolar with major depression, suicide ideation, anxiety, panic, depression, paranoia

I was diagnosed Bioplar 1 when I was a freshmen in Highschool. (It was quite obvious I was bipolar throughout my whole life, but my parents were kind enough to allow me to ask for help first instead of being forced into the endless cycling of medication in the beginning ages of the illness, without my consent.)

Anyways, I'm 23 now, sometimes I float...sometimes I sink... something I'm both in the same day!

Recently, times have been hard, even for the average joe. I understand, it's 2020. But throwing this forsaken illness into the mix does not make anything less than torturous.

About a month ago, I started developing a major hip and back injury from power lifting (I have an unstable hip joint which makes it difficult to walk, sit, stand, lay down, etc.), and am being required to attend Physical Therapy twice a week TBA.
My boyfriend broke up with me the same week, claiming he hasn't loved me for about a month. Making me feel like our entire relationship was a lie. So! Yes. You guessed it. My disorder played the leading role to an other dimise of a relationship, yay! (As claiming prior "oh, I won't let your illness effect us,haha" welp it did... again...

That was about a week ago.
my favorite past times are exercising... exercising... and yup, exercising... (I love the dopamine, don't we all?)

So in my current down time I walk around switching between mania and depressive states because guess what? I also messed up my daily pill intake too without meaning to.... again....

I have random panic attacks because of the pain and I talk and talk and talk to the old friends I had before the relationship, and to no prevail... I feel alone.

I am so happy 7 cups exists. I wanted to just post this rant SO bad without judgement and now I can... so thank you.

I stumbled upon this resource because I was searching for ways to connect with people with similar experiences. I have a TON of support in my life, with friends and family always willing to listen and offer help, and some even have experienced depression and anxiety in their lives to relate, but none understand the manic highs or the extreme swings from high to low that go with bipolar.

I was diagnosed bipolar 1 a few years ago. That made a lot of sense looking at my history, and getting on the right meds and in the right type of therapy has helped control episodes a ton.

I'm currently extremely confused about how I'm feeling. Day to day, I shift between feeling really tired, depressed, down, sleeping all day and neglecting my responsibilities to feeling up, energized, positive, creative, and dangerously close to quitting my meds to ride out this high. Neither of these are as extreme as a full blown episode, but I've never swung back and forth like this in a matter of days. I also have anxiety and borderline traits so it's not always easy to tell what is behind my mood shifts. Just feeling really defeated atm. :(

Anyway, I'm excited to meet you people and hope that I can get some good companionship and offer some in return.