CDM Talk: Being your Authentic Self

@azuladragon34

I would love the answers to these questions.

Often I have been told to be myself, to be authentic or, to be true to yourself. I am at a loss on how to do this. How do I know if I am being myself or not?

Its kind of like some one saying if you want to get to the store just drive there. If don't know how to drive handing me the keys does not help at all.

@azuladragon34

1. How can you tell if someone is their authentic self?

For me, I would like to think someone is their authentic self by the vibe and energy they give off. An authentic person will be themselves with me, you, him over there, here over there, etc... They do not change or switch up just because they are around other people. A lot of times, people put up a front but, over time, you can see their true colors. A person can only fake being real for so long before revealing their true colors.

2. What makes an authentic self attractive?

What makes an authentic person attractive is their ability to be freely themselves without the fake persona or facade. I just love real people. The best way to be is yourself-- real people will accept you as you are--- even with flaws and even on your bad days, because they see who you are truly and the potential you have.

3. What usually prevents someone from being their authentic self?

I think anxiety or fear of being judged by others prevent people from being authentic. They may fear that people will not like them so they pretend to be someone they are not.

@azuladragon34 These are great discussion questions. Thanks for posting!

My ideas:

1. How can you tell if someone is their authentic self? One way you can tell, is if they are consistent in their interactions.
   

2. What makes an authentic self attractive? An attractive quality, in my book, is if they are encouraging and positive, and help others shine (ie, not selfish).
   

3. What usually prevents someone from being their authentic self? FEAR! Fear of rejection, fear of loss, fear of conflict, fear of vulnerability, etc.
   

Growing up when and where I did trans support wasn't a thing. Even now I'm afraid to let her out but, despite all the numerous attempts by myself and many others to keep her away she always comes back . So, recently I accepted her. Did things a bit differently for getting her set up initially. Much to my absolute delight I had the privilege of coming out to a couple of pride friendly ladies as well as my therapist. I've never felt so good about myself. Talking to my therapist even though she's not experienced in such matters she is clearly good at helping with personal empowerment. Take it at my pace do my thing and when a situation gets scary or difficult don't panic girl up and own my womanhood.

@azuladragon34

1. How can you tell if someone is their authentic self?

   Well, you can't really tell if it's someone you don't know well, but as for friends and family, just take note of who they are when they're at home. When you're at home, you're comfortable and at peace, and the mask falls letting you just be yourself unapologetically. Decor and posters or art can also give a peak into their real interests and passions.

2. What makes an authentic self attractive?

   I could answer this for days, because there is nothing more attractive to me than authenticity. I'm so put off when I see people switch up based on who they're with. I think what makes an authentic self so attractive is that "i dont give a f-" vibe for me personally. Also, I love seeing peoples unique/nerdy sides. People just being goofy, smiling, seeing them relaxed and being themselves. I love that so much.

3. What usually prevents someone from being their authentic self?

   Fear of rejection, but if you have to put up a mask or pretend to be someone else for a person in your life, they simply are not worth the energy of trying to appeal to. And trying to cater to judgmental people, to me, shows insecurity and a lack of confidence. Of course, not the worst traits someone can have but it definitely means they have some self esteem issues to work on.
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

@azuladragon34

1. How can you tell if someone is their authentic self?

   i can tell if someone is their own authentic self if they can communicate naturally, without nervousness and/or confusion.

2. What makes an authentic self attractive?

   an authentic self is attractive because they know themselves and allow other people to know them!

3. What usually prevents someone from being their authentic self?

   what can prevent someone from being themselves is a situation or occurance that changes their life in a permanent way. then the person has to learn how to overcome the emotions of these changes and regain confidence and compsure.

@azuladragon34

1. How can you tell if someone is their authentic self? I can tell if someone is their authentic self if they are true to who they are around everyone they spend time with.

2. What makes an authentic self attractive? I think being authentic is attractive because you don't change who you are to please other people and you don't care what others think of who you truly are.

3. What usually prevents someone from being their authentic self? I think people act differently because they may want to please someone they are around. They may act different because they don't "fit" into this person's standards and they want to change themselves to fit in.

   This was a great post Azula! Thank you for the discussion! 💕

@azuladragon34

1. How can you tell if someone is their authentic self?

   When their words and actions match maybe.

2. What makes an authentic self attractive?

   It's easier to draw parallels and find commonalities when one can see the others' authentic self

3. What usually prevents someone from being their authentic self?

   I think it is the need to please. Giving more value to Impression over expression

@azuladragon34 I love reading the answers 🩶

1. How can you tell if someone is their authentic self? I must agree with some answers, we can only know when we have interacted with them for some time and in different social settings.

2. What makes an authentic self attractive? Because they're unique. Everyone is unique but some people make efforts to look "same" as a certain social group that matters to them.

3. What usually prevents someone from being their authentic self? To each their own motivation but in general, similar like what everyone have said, it could be a strong desire to feel accepted, belonged that can prevent someone from being their authentic self. It may come out as people pleaser, or fear. Fear of being too loud, fear of being too quiet, fear of being too weird, etc. Weird is good btw 😄

   Thanks Az! Cheers 🐨