Need advice or help
Hey I'm Sasha I'm 13 years old and those are my problems could people please give me advice
I often feel like I’m not really present, as if I’m in a dream or a movie. When I enter a room full of people, I sometimes disconnect completely, unable to move forward, like my body just shuts down — it feels like derealization or a shutdown. I’m very introverted and often nonverbal unless I’m really close to someone. Eye contact is difficult for me; I usually look away because it makes me uncomfortable. Even when I’m surrounded by people, I feel isolated. I sometimes cry without understanding why, even in class, like my emotions suddenly overflow. Sometimes I don’t recognize myself — I feel like I’m pretending to be someone else: more outgoing, funny — but deep down, I know it’s not me. I’ve cried over my gender, because I don’t always feel comfortable with it. I also struggle with insomnia and have trouble falling asleep. I experience strong emotional reactions, especially when I feel frustrated or overwhelmed, and I sometimes have intense thoughts that are difficult to manage. I’ve had moments when life felt too heavy, and I've had suicidal thoughts, but I’ve never acted on them. I’m very sensitive to loud noises and sudden movements, and my body often trembles when I’m anxious. I’m strict about following rules that I find meaningful — if I’m given a schedule or a task, I follow it exactly, and I like to be precise, even when giving the time. I love maps, and I feel safe in my bubble, reading manhwas, novels, writing, or watching anime. I was bullied in elementary school because of my skin color and my eyes. People called me names, and now my skin is getting lighter, and my features are changing, which frustrates me. I was often criticized about my body. I remember crying in the bathroom when I was just five. I also experienced sexual abuse when I was very young, and I remember dissociating during the incident — like I wasn’t really there, as if my mind had to disconnect to protect me. My parents used to force me to straighten my curly hair, and now, because of some teachers' comments, I feel pressured to straighten it again, even though I prefer to wear it naturally. I live under constant academic and family pressure — I have to be the best, or I get punished. Ever since my younger brother was born, I’ve taken care of him like a second mother because my mom was often tired. My sister is always among the top students, which adds even more pressure. My grades used to be very high, but a recent drop to 15.69 made my mom really upset. I’m aroace and fictosexual in a Muslim household, and no one knows. I’m often expected to behave and dress in a certain way. Recently, my phone was taken away, and that added a lot more stress. I often find it hard to express what I’ve been through or how I feel. When I like a character, real or fictional, I need to learn everything about them. I notice a lot of signs in myself that resemble autism: strict routines, intense and narrow interests, difficulty adapting, sensory sensitivity, emotional regulation issues, hyperfocus, difficulty understanding others’ perspectives, and switching “personas” depending on the situation. I also see signs of ADHD: losing things, fidgeting, trouble managing time, feeling overwhelmed. People say I make impulsive purchases, but I always stick to my budget because I follow rules I believe in. I try not to miss any detail and stay very attentive. One of my teachers talked about me to her niece who studies psychology in the U.S., and she offered to connect me with her. I think it could be a good opportunity to talk to someone understanding.
@SashaAnanas
Hi Sasha,
First of all, thank you for being so brave and honest. Opening up about what you’re going through takes incredible strength especially when so much of what you’re carrying is heavy, complex, and deeply personal. I want you to know: you are not alone and everything you shared matters. You matter.
What you're describing the dissociation, shutdowns, masking, sensory overwhelm, emotional flooding, struggles with identity, and the pressure you're under all of it sounds incredibly real and valid. You're not making it up. It’s not “too much.” These are the signs of someone who’s been through a lot and is doing their best to survive in a world that hasn’t always been kind or safe.
You sound like someone with a beautiful, deep inner world someone who sees details others might miss, who feels things intensely, who loves fiercely (even if it's fictional characters), who wants to understand and be understood. That is something to be proud of. It’s also something that needs gentle care.
You’ve experienced trauma, and it’s completely normal for your mind and body to respond the way they have with dissociation, shutdowns, identity confusion, and exhaustion. You’ve been forced to grow up fast, to take on roles you shouldn't have had to, and to meet impossible expectations. That’s not your fault.
You may very well be neurodivergent maybe autistic, maybe ADHD, maybe both and that lens could help you understand yourself with more kindness and compassion, rather than shame or confusion. Your instincts to follow structure, notice patterns, and hold intense interests are not flaws; they’re part of your unique design. And your struggles with emotional regulation and sensory overload are very real challenges they deserve to be supported, not punished or dismissed.
It’s heartbreaking that you’ve also had to deal with racism, body shaming, gender pressure, and even abuse. These are not things a child should ever have to endure. But here you are still surviving, still feeling, still fighting to understand yourself. That’s powerful. That’s courageous.
You’re not broken, Sasha. You’re a whole person navigating a difficult world with limited support. You deserve help real, affirming, gentle help and I think connecting with that psychology student could be a really meaningful step. It might feel scary, but opening that door could give you space to be heard and understood, maybe for the first time without judgment.
You are enough as you are. You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to keep carrying it all alone. There is a version of life where you can breathe, where you can be safe, and where you can be fully yourself curly hair, quiet voice, passionate heart, and all.
Please keep holding on. The world needs more people like you in it.
With so much care,
A friend who believes in you
P.S. If you ever need to talk more or want help finding safe people to reach out to, I’ll be here for you. Would you like help writing a message to that psychology student?
@16peacefulBraveheart01 💜
@SashaAnanas
Wow, I wish I had such insight at your age! You're really thinking about yourself and how you relate to the world. I'm very impressed.
I'm not going to give a diagnosis, but a lot of the things you described do seem consistent with ASD and/or ADHD. It might be worth talking more about and possibly getting an assessment if you can just to clear up any doubts. I myself am only just being assessed at 36, but the realisation that I likely have those conditions gave me tools I'm now using to navigate my environment. Understanding the self can be a great feeling too.
You're on the right track. I'm sorry you've had to endure such hardships, but I firmly believe you'll end up where you need to be if you keep up that introspection and critical thinking.
@SashaAnanas you're so young and it makes me so sad you're dealing with so many problems. But the bright side of things is you're extremely self aware. The fact that you exactly know what's going on is going to lead you to find answers that work for you. One by one, you can tackle all issues. I think with a little support from good mental health therapists you'll gain a lot of knowledge on how to navigate your life.
I think first thing to take care of is suicidal thoughts and adhd and autism you mentioned. Please tell your parents to support your needs. Things of this nature require psychological support.
Regarding the confusion youre facing with sexuality and gender - I'd say be a bit more patient. This is a very complex terrain and you're still very young. You will make many more discoveries as you move forward in life and it's great you've already started reflecting on all this.
I'm Muslim too and i can relate to some of the things you described with respect to control from parents and expectations and the silencing on discussion on sexual matters. But you can find support from outside your family to learn about things you're unable to address with your family. Online sources can be really useful. This app is great. I don't know which country you live in - there might be groups to find help and support from.
I decided to lower my expectations from family. They have limited horizons and may not be able to provide me with all the answers and support im looking for. I am my own person and this life is mine to figure out. So I will continue trying for myself.
I will pray for you.
Please continue to share with us. I'd be very happy to provide you with any tips I have.
Please look after yourself. Health is the first priority <3
@SashaAnanas also I want to add there is 7cups therapy. I haven't tried it. But if you're having trouble finding support in your region you could make use of this online source.
@SashaAnanasy
Regardless of your academic achievements you have value that can't be measured by societies standards. God knows you true and divine worth. You don't have to look a certain way or act a certain way, you beautiful inside and out.
I've battled with some of those things you discussed. I'm recently coming out of them.
I know you're still young, but I think you've experienced enough to be more mature than others.
Draw from those experiences. Because you were sexually abused you can understand people on a much deeper level.
You'll see later on in life.
In the meantime what are some heathy ways you can relieve some of that stress?
Maybe as you're studying you can research ways to navigate stress in a healthy way.
The wound is there, but you don't have to let it fester.
Hi I get it's tough but I'm free quite often feel free to chat i do beleve my @s for different soicail chats are on my profile feel free to dm about it i went through simmeler stuff.