Deoression Support Check-in: March 22nd-28th, 2021
Hi my dearest friend! We all meet again, yeay! I hope all of you have been doing well.
I want to share with all of you a bad news of mine. My cat has nt returned home for a week. I keep wondering where did it go to and what has happened to him. Our search in finding it was no luck. I wish it's in good condition withoiut us being with it.
Ok, enough about my story. I don't want my sadness to wash over you so let's jump to our check-in questions.
1) How have you been? Good? Bad? Tell us more about it. We're all ears. :)
2) Share with us one of yours unfogettable memories. We would love to hear.
3) What activity helps you relieve your stress or during tough times?
That's all questiond for all of you. Thanks for attending this check in. Your voice is truly appreciated. Remember that we're here for you. Until next time, stay safe and take care. We all love you so much * bear hug*
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Feeling relieved today. I've finally made some final corrections to my research paper and submitted the assignment. I've also took the time to finish my first assignment for the Certificate program and have submitted it. Had an email reply saying that I should receive feedback/grades within 7 days. I had been putting off working on the assignment since I started school again, and I had finally made up my mind to finish it by end of this month. I won't be able to continue on in the lessons until I get the assignment back, or until I've submitted an acceptable assignment (as we get 4 attempts). Each attempt, will have the changes that the markers specified.
One of my unforgettable memory was achieving a challenge and surprising everyone of my success. This was back in Grade 9, when I was in my last year of Scouting (had to quit to focus on school). We had a hiking trip of 3 days and 2 nights in the forest, that was led by two Environment Canada guides. We carried all our gear as we hiked through the forest (some parts were rough, climbing over and under fallen tree trunks), to and from the parking lot was a 20km hike. I stayed at the front with one of the guides the entire time. Of course, in our group, there were 3-4 other girls and a few guys. When we returned home, and my parents came to pick me up at one of our leaders' house; the leaders commented that they were surprised that I was at the front the whole hike. For once, I felt proud of myself for achieving that challege of where no one thought I could do. I learned a lot during the hike too, being at the front with the guide, I was told many information about the wild. Plants, mushrooms, trees.. etc. During one of the site where we slept by a creek, early in the morning, we had a bear visit our tents. I was awake in my sleeping bag, and I could hear the heavy breathing outside and walked past my tent.
To relieve stress, I usually try and watch some funny video, and if it's over the weekend, I tend to do some baking. I remember one time where I was really stressed about something, and I baked 2 trays of muffins and a loaf of bread. Basically spent the whole day in the kitchen!~
Awesome job finishing your paper and your first set of assignments! You can do this. That hike sounds like an awesome memory. Have you ever gotten a chance to go hiking since then?@Jaeteuk
The Certificate assignment. I registered online for the program last year. Subscription will expire beginning of May. It looks like I'll need to renew the subscription in order to finish it. As I had registered for 2 courses and I can't do the second one until I finish the current. Being only halfway through the first, I don't think I'll finish both courses by May.
That hike, ever since then, never had one like that again. First of all, we don't have any tents. Gear, I still have. Both my brother and I were in the same Scouting group for 5 years, he started 3 years before me though. Then, when we moved, I joined a branch closer to home, and by then, my brother had quit because University was taking too much of his time as we hold 2-hr meetings every Friday evening. With other events throughout the year. I do like hiking and nature, nowadays, there's no one to go with me. Kinda sucks with no friends. Before the Covid, I would sometimes just walk outside when I'm stressed.. Now, I'd just rather stay home.
Although with my home department from work, during the summer, they organize hikes on trails. I only went once with them 2 years ago. But, now.. since I'm not as close to them anymore.. I don't think I'll be joining in on anymore of the hikes. Otherwise, that would be the closest type of hike compared to back in the days.
Also, I'm going to make my decision this week regarding my work position, and hope to set up a meeting with my Rep sometime during the week I'm back to work next. I'm afraid to tell my family about it though, as I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't want me to give up my home department~
@bestVase7265
It is okay to renew in order to get your certificate. You can only do so much at once. You will figure out what is best in regards to work. You are getting information right now so that is good.
If you can, find a way to get outside even for little walks. It will really help your stress levels. You may not be able to hike at the moment, but you could build up to that. @Jaeteuk
@kdsyahirah
Today is intense. Joined AA. Drinking makes depression worse.
Memory: hiking in the Rockies and being so high up I felt I could touch the clouds.
Yoga is my go to for stress release when I'm not self medicating
Joining AA is big step. You should be really proud of yourself. Let us know how we can support you.@practicalPlace9262
I haven't been doing great. I'm just so tired of either feeling numb or absolute dread. As covid restrictions go away, I'm realizing my anxiety is at an all time high. I can't text back friends, going to the store is a struggle, and I fear life after the pandemic. School has become a chore and I have headaches all the time. I hate feeling this low again.
An unforgettable memory would be going to Canada with my family.
I paint, draw, and write to relieve my stress.
I totally get the high stress and anxiety even as COVID may be winding down. It is happening to me too. They say that long-term stress is what does the damage. But we have recovered before and we will find our way back again. @indigocolours456
Feeling extremely low as usual . It seems I need another change in my meds , for the umpteenth time . I am so fedup of this cycle . Just when I had made some progress I am back to square one .
It isn't square one. It is a new square from which you can take another step. I know how discouraged you are, but there are lots of people cheering you on. @calmsoulmeet
@bestVase7265
Thanks . But the reality is, it's getting tougher and tougher for me . I don't have much fuel left in my tank . :(.
I know that reality. You will find the fuel. You will find the right meds and right therapy. There are no other choices when you think about it. How is the job hunt going? @calmsoulmeet
@bestVase7265
Job hunt ain't going well . So basically I live in a very small city and there aren't any good jobs available here . So I am searching for jobs in another city .
I just lack the mental strength and courage right now . :(.
Remember what I said - start small and apply for something that you don't think you are going to get. Set really low stakes. It will help that you have tried. You can do this! I have confidence in you. @calmsoulmeet
@bestVase7265
Thanks for showing faith and confidence in me . Truth be told , I am just so mentally broken and shattered that all this isn't possible for me . I will visit my psychiatrist and get my meds changed . ☹️ .
Start there then. It can really help. Each step you take is one of courage. @calmsoulmeet
1. i've been feeling a mix of angry and sad lately for no reason and it's been affecting the way i act towards people 2. i went on a rlly fun and neat hike through water! 3. listening to music and taking a hot shower help me de-stress
Angry and sad are normal for depression. Give yourself room to feel those emotions without feeling guilt.@fluffycow27
1. I've been really down lately. I've just felt a lot of regret looking back on my life, wishing I did more with it and not being happy with where I am now in life. It's worse knowing that very few people in my life, if any, are available to talk to about it, so I am thankful to have this place to air these thoughts.
2. A few years ago, I was in NYC for New Years and it was the highlight of my life and I had such an amazing vacation. Something I will remember forever.
3. Now that the weather in my area has been getting a smidge better, I've been spending more time in my backyard and the fresh air has put me in a better mood, so I will be doing that more often to help my mood.
You can easily talk about all those regrets here and organize a path forward. It is great that you are getting outside. It really does help. @tallPond9195
I know I'm a little bit late but I hope you'll have me anyway. I just need to get some thoughts out.
1) How have you been? Good? Bad? Tell us more about it. We're all ears. :)
I've been... better. But I've also been worse. I got a new position at my job - the position I've been wanting since I first started the job almost four months ago. So while I'm happy I got this position, I now have a new fear/anxiety about messing it up and getting in trouble for not doing it fast enough/correct.
I've also had some new feelings present themselves today, ones that I think are tailing on some feelings I had... well about three months ago when I first got this job. I'm very tired and this job is very labor intensive. I want to focus on my art and try to make a career out if it, but I feel like I'm not being given the chance and actively being held back from doing what I want.
2) Share with us one of yours unfogettable memories. We would love to hear.
Being proposed to. It's bitter sweet at this point in my life. I still love my s/o incredibly, but I am beginning to wonder if he is the reason I am unable to persue my dreams right now. Which is weird, because he is the reason I have these dreams in the first place.
3) What activity helps you relieve your stress or during tough times?
Playing video games. I would say drawing, but I noticed very recently that even my drawing can be interrupted by my stress and anxiety. Video games are able to attract my whole attention and I am able to ignore the outside world. I'm not sure how healthy it is, but it helps at least a little..
It is never too late to post. It sounds like all you are feeling - the anxiety and doubting are all part of finding yourself. It is tough work. New jobs are always stressful. You need time to adapt. Nothing needs to be figured out this week. @Aworkman91
1. Feeling numb and hopeless. I keep scewing things up. The only thing that works is to repeatedly remind myself that I'm a bad person, and I need to do better. When I do this I can force myself to get things done. 2. I shared some fears and depressive thoughts with my husband because he was becoming frustrated that I don't confide in him. It hurt his feelings to hear what goes through my head, just as I thought it would. He is now upset also, because all the things he said to me to help had no effect. 3. I don't have anything or anyone to go to that make me feel better. Just a hot bath. That's the closest I can get.
When I first told my husband, he didn't take it well either. But then he began to realize how much I was hurting. Reaching out is a great first step. You can find a way forward. @Tasha2319
He knows how much I'm hurting and is quick to tell me I'm a hypocrite because a lot of the things I ask for are things he wants me to do for him but I am not always able to be patient. I'm too angry all the time. And the response to my anger is to fight back.
Depression makes you angry and impatient. Remind yourself how hard you are working to overcome all the negativity in your brain. What kinds of things do you try to do to find moments of peace? Coming here can be a good place to get some of that nasty stuff out. We aren't going to judge you. @Tasha2319
I have to just walk away... it just happened AGAIN. I was trying SO HARD and it just doesn't help. I heard from him that the process to fix my kitchen table, which I LOVE, was too much work. I said I'd really like to try my idea rather than just leaving it the way it is, messed up stain. He said "fine, go fuck it up, even though you didn't give me time to research it. What's gonna happen when you put a cup on it and it's sticky because you half assed it just like everything else you do? Just like the dresser" He joined a forum to ask about it and already told me it was going to need to cure a very long time and requires sanding and lots of work. He already reminded me that he didn't want me to buy the table in the first place. I replied that I wasn't going to do anything to the table I just wanted to share my opinion. I was VERY upset so I had to deliberately moderate my voice so I didn't sound mean. He gets frustrated, "why are you talking in that voice?" I explain that I'm frustrated and trying not to get upset, so I sound a bit monotone. He says "just go ahead and yell at me. It's what you always do anyway. " I just stop talking. He starts watching a video about staining the table. Our 10 year old calls for his attention, 2x. He stops his video and yells, "what?!?" She is upset and says never mind. He starts yelling at her "I already stopped my video, tell me now." She doesn't want to because she's upset. At this point I walk away. I can't handle it and i don't know how. I want to ask him if he's ok but I'm afraid he's going to yell at me: "no, I'm not ok! You want to destroy the $1,400 table you just HAD to have!"
I am glad that you were able to come back here to vent. That sounds like an extremely frustrating situation. You were obviously trying really hard and that does matter. He was also extremely frustrated and it wasn't just you. Sometimes the best thing to do is exactly what you did - walk away so that you can come up with a solution another time when tempers aren't quite so high. There are few things that have to be solved right that very moment. Keep coming back here to let things out. I am here to listen. @Tasha2319
1) How have you been? Good? Bad? Tell us more about it. We're all ears. :)
Mostly bad. Having problems at work, close to be fired.
2) Share with us one of yours unfogettable memories. We would love to hear.
I remember one of my mountain trips. I remember how I feared when it was uncertain if I make it out alive. I was lying on a stone which should roll down all the way but it did not as whole, it was partially broken what saved me.
3) What activity helps you relieve your stress or during tough times?
Not sure. Currently I am trying meditation again and trying more to rest.
Sending peace. Meditation can really help you focus. I hope that you are able to find now to move forward. @windSpirit