Depression Daily check in December 8-9th,2020
Hello all. I hope you are all doing well. Remember to do something nice for yourself today. No matter how small it is.
1.) How are you?
2.) Is your current routine bringing you closer to your goal?
3.) What cheesy joke makes you laugh everytime?
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@Goldcherry2113
Hello, I'm new to 7cups. I'm feeling sad today. Missing my mom who died a month ago. But glad to be connecting online with others.
I forgot the second question. Hope it wasn't do you have a good memory? 🤣
I'm being kind to myself.
No cheesy jokes.🤷🏻♀️
@Gale1032
I'm sorry for your lost. It's amazing that you're looking at the bright side of things but still Grief can be difficult to deal with. If you want, you can join the 'Grief and Loss' sub-community, it's a wonderful group to help support you during this time.
I actually laughed when you mentioned the 'memory' joke. That's a chessy joke, so you got number three down already :)
Goodluck on your goals, and cheers for being kind to yourself <3
Sending peace. Give yourself as much time to grieve as you need. There are lots of people here to support you. @Gale1032
1.) How are you?
Not as good as I wish to be. Just tired again, I feel like I'm failing on a lot of things all together and it's frustraiting. More than that, it's harder than ever for me to concentrate on the things I need to get done.
2.) Is your current routine bringing you closer to your goal?
I'm not sure? I'm trying to bring more actually productive stuff in it but I don't know. It all feels like a failure.
3.) What cheesy joke makes you laugh everytime?
Any variation of "platypus? PERRY the platypus??" thingy, really
@eugenNerd
Hello Eugen!
It's been a while. I hope you're well.
I'm glad that you're constantly thinking of how to be better. I think that subconsciously, you're mind is already getting used to be being productive!
It's a shame that you feel like nothing is working. Sometimes, it happens. I do hope, that you get back on your feet. It's okay to be down for a while.
Remember what I said about self care. How is going for you?
I'm mighty proud of you for always being hopeful about change. You're one of the most thoughtful person on here. Always thinking about how you can grow.
Why exactly do you think it's a failure?
Thank you for checking in today. I love Perry the Platypus, but it's amusing to see you find Platypus jokes funny😂💖
@eugenNerd
Hi, I'm Gale, a newbie. But I can sure relate to the tired stuff.
I've reduced my expectations so I get excited if I do the dishes!
Not sure I should suggest that for others! 😜
Right now, I'm not focused on becoming productive in the usual sense.
Just letting myself go at my own pace. Ironically, I tend to do better when I accept rather than pressure myself but some people do better with lists and pep talks.
Anyway, thanks for sharing. 💙
Not being able to concentrate at points is a symptom of all of this. It is really annoying but it sounds like you are trying to work through it. Give yourself lots of space and grace. You can do this. @eugenNerd
1.) How are you?
I'm good, and I'm going to get used to saying that when it only feels 70% true. I am good, and I don't have to scared of things that aren't actually happening.
2.) Is your current routine bringing you closer to your goal?
Yes, and maybe not as efficiently as it could be. I'm moving into a different kind of work schedule right now at the end of the year so I have to experiment with my schedule. Maybe try some block-based scheduling again.
3.) What cheesy joke makes you laugh everytime?
I'm not much for jokes, unfortunately.
@nordurnStar
I'm super happy you're well!
That kind of mindset is amazing. You should be true to yourself. You don't always have to be okay, and knowing that is important❤️
Change can be difficult, but it's necessary. I hope that changing your schedule goes well. I wish you the best of luck in your efforts😊
Thank you for checking in today. I hope your week goes well and always remember that 7 Cups is a family❤️
A family that is grateful to have you❤️
That is great that you are able to say you are ok at 70%. That is a big accomplishment. @nordurnStar
1.) How are you? I am in a bit of pain. I injured my back a couple of days ago, and it is hurting today.
2.) Is your current routine bringing you closer to your goal? I think so. She mentioned marriage last night, and I have been thinking she didn't want to get married for several years.
3.) What cheesy joke makes you laugh everytime? Absolutely none of them. I get a chuckle every once in a while when she says something funny.
I hope that your back is doing better today. That marriage talk is a nice step forward. @Offmytrack
@bestVase7265
My back is getting a little better every day. Thank you.
@Goldcherry2113
1.) How are you?
I am doing quite well, thanks!
2.) Is your current routine bringing you closer to your goal?
Not yet, but hopefully it will one day!
3.) What cheesy joke makes you laugh everytime?
Honestly I laugh at almost everything soo, I don't know
It is nice to know that you are laughing. @kateaala
1.) How are you?
I'm fine
2.) Is your current routine bringing you closer to your goal?
I guess if I was better at being consistent with it.
3.) What cheesy joke makes you laugh everytime?
I don't have anything like that
You are a pretty consistent guy. What do you think that you aren't being consistent about? @Flornhope
@bestVase7265 I think I need to do better at self improvement and trying to make things better for me. Thank you
Add to that being consistent in telling yourself that you are doing a good job and all you have to do is keep trying 
@Flornhope
@Goldcherry2113
hi! i'm new to 7cups and decided to try this out! :D
1. i'm okay, better than yesterday. i still very tired and the pain hasn't completely faded yet.
2. not at all. exams are right around the corner and i've been feeling absolutely terrible these past weeks and if continue like this, i'll most likely fail.
3. a joke my friend always makes, it's more of an inside joke but it cracks me up a lot!
@countdracie
Welcome to 7 Cups! We are delighted to have with us. If you have any questions, you can ask <3
It's great that you feel better today. About your exam, atleast you know what not to do. You've realized that you need to change methods to prepare well for the exam. And that's good :)
Welcome to 7 cups! Take that school work a day a time. @countdracie
Hi am new to this. I just joined today and i am happy to be here!
1. I am doing okay today!
2. I think i am getting closer to my goal today. I have a tendency to let things go until they turn into something much bigger than what i can handle. But today i went through my house and cleaned it thoroughly. I feel a little bit lighter now. I need to find more ways to stay motivated so things dont get overwhelmingly messy again.
3. I dont know many jokes. Maybe someone could tell me some. It would be greatly appreciated😊
Welcome to 7 cups! Cleaning is a great accomplishment! @lightKite4339
Feeling a bit confused and worried. I had my final exam online last night, and was given a grade immediately after submitting my answers. It said I only got 26%.. how is that possible, I felt pretty confident in the multiple choice, true/false, and fill-in-the-blank questions. Also, there were 5 questions that required a written paragraph response, how does the computer grade that right away without the instructor looking at it? So, I'm hoping that the grade will change later this week, and that it was just partial marks. Now I'm scared to look at it again, if the grade doesn't change, does this mean I failed the course?! The final exam is worth 30% of the grade, so even if I passed the other parts, the percentage average is not enough to qualify towards my Diploma. I swear it's part of the instructor's fault though, I had some questions where I did not quite understand what it was asking, like the sentence structure is confusing. I have to say, the instructor's English isn't very proper, so maybe, I'm not the only student that misunderstands the questions. Either way, I'm afraid to look again.
If you're referring to a life goal, I'd like to think I'm working towards it. But if you're referring to my depression, I'm just basically dealing with it when it hits me. There's not much I can do without much support from family~
@Jaeteuk
Ahh, that's absolutely the worst feeling. I felt so sad reading this. Do you think you should speak to your instructor about this? I totally agree that it wasn't far on how the exam was graded, especially the written paragraphs.
I decided to check if there were further announcements regarding the final exam grades. This is what the instructor says:
Please ignore the scores shown on Brightspace, as they are not the whole final exam scores but scores only for the fill-in-the-blanks questions, multiple choice questions, and true or false questions. The total score of the three types of questions are just 10. The 4 written response questions are 20 points and need to be marked by me manually.
Which means I did well, since my score was 8. Totally relieved now. Man, that was scary!~
@MyNameIsNicole
@Jaeteuk
I had a huge sigh of relief. Good to know!
You didn't prepare well for nothing!
Goodluck💖
When I read your first response that was exactly what I thought had happened. But he should have given you warning so you wouldn't panic! @Jaeteuk
Still fantasizing about being dead. I hate my life and I hate existing. Kill me.
@tluper6491
I notice you have quite a few badges. 💯 I'm new so I wont presume to know how to respond to your words very well.
And my guess is that you've heard all the cliche answers.
But it sounds like you're in extreme pain. Reach out to a therapist right now.
What you are feeling right now won't be forever. And you are reaching out online which is brave and honest.
I hope you feel more hopeful soon and I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. 💙
Sending peace. I know how hard it is. You should know that every time I see your posts I smile. They mean that you are still here working on everything. That means a great deal. You are still needed and cared for here. @tluper6491
@bestVase7265
Thank you again and always for your support. I'm happy my posts make you smile but I'm also scared to let you down or be too negative. Some days I'm really bad and don't come on because I'm too despondent or just don't want to post the same things over and over. I've derailed at least one thread in another forum with my negativity and I felt so bad about it I didn't come on for a while.
Apart from my existing problems, yesterday we learned my grandpa probably has less than 24 hours to live. On one hand I'm trying to remember he won't suffer anymore, he moved in with us at the end of last year and just rapidly deteriorated in health immediately until around March we couldn't take care of him any more (he was falling repeatedly and getting injured and I'm the only one big enough to help and I'm also disabled with a muscle disease and can barely walk, so relying on me to rescue him when he falls would have eventually got us both seriously injured). When we couldn't take care of him any more we had no choice but to put him in a home. Then obviously the pandemic really started getting out of control around that time and he's spent most of this year unable to move depressed and in a nursing home just waiting for it to end. Yesterday everything seemed to get a lot worse and he's been put into a medical coma and given less than 24 hours to live. As of right now I don't know his status but we aren't optimistic and due to the pandemic we can't go visit him or say goodbye or anything. I don't want to complain like my situation is special when I know this entire year people have lost family they couldn't say goodbye to. Sadly it's very common these days. I'm mostly worried about my mom because she seems to be taking this really badly and she lost her mother about 8 years ago at a relatively young age (my grandma was only in her early-mid 60s at the time but had major cancer in multiple parts of her body and was gone within a month of getting sick). So right now as miserable, unstable and hopeless as I am personally, my current concern is really more my mom because she's been through so much, a lot of it being my fault, and I constantly feel like such a failure and disappointment because of my condition but she doesn't think that, or at least not actively. I know in any objective sense it is true though and I just feel so horrible she's losing/lost both of her parents and her son is a worthless screw-up. At least my sister turned out okay and actually amounted to something in her life. But I digress. I'm just kind of a complete and total mess right now and my mind is all over the place and I can't think straight or focus on anything. I'm just jumping from one negative self-destructive thought to another.
Anyway, I was completely miserable, I'm somehow even worse now, but not as much being a whiny baby and feeling sorry for myself for my own stupid mistakes as I am feeling sorry for my mom and powerless to help her. As for my grandpa himself I'm really trying to focus on the idea that he won't suffer any more. But I can't stop focusing on how horrible his last few months have been for him and feeling like it's our fault he's so depressed and also selfishly how much of a failure and disappointment I must be as a grandson. And son in general but that's a different rambling whiny rant for another pointless day of my pathetic hollow failure of a life.
There is so much care and love in your post that it is amazing. You are amazing. In spite of all your struggles, you think deeply about other people. That means a huge amount.
You cannot disappoint me by being too negative here. There is no need to be scared about expressing what you are feeling inside. It is real and you are battling. That is all that really matters.
I understand deeply the pain that you are experiencing right now. The situation with your grandfather is horrible on any number of levels. You don't have to compare your experiences to anyone else's and thus argue that your pain should somehow be less. You are losing someone you love and watching your mother in pain. That is really, really hard.
But do remember your mother's pain. If she were to lose you on top of everything else, she would be devastated. She is fighting for you too.
Grieve and mourn together. Come back here often for support. You deserve the listening ear. @tluper6491