Weekly Prompt #13: What boundaries do you need to set to protect your mental health while also maintaining a healthy relationship?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
Congratulations and thank you everyone for being part of the Depression Community. We have now 55155 friends. Last week we crossed the 55K mark and it is significant from the standpoint that we are all connecting here to share, seek support and empower each other to navigate the daily challenges of depression. You are all doing great and please know you are not alone. Keep taking small steps.
Last week we discussed: How has depression affected your relationships with others? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: What boundaries do you need to set to protect your mental health while also maintaining a healthy relationship?
As we discussed a bit about how depression affects our relationships with others last week, I wanted to discuss it further in terms of relationships and depression. Depression has impacted our relationships with others but also to sustain them we need to have some healthy boundaries to ensure we maintain a level of balance between needs of mental health and relationships. I know that this is a sensitive and personal topic, but I believe that sharing our experiences can help us feel less alone and find ways to cope.
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definitely taking some time to myself / spending days by myself. another one would be standing up for myself when i get mistreated. i know my last relationship taught me that. 😀
@heathermarie95 I'm glad talking about your past has helped you find some relief. Focusing on self care and standing up for yourself are wise steps to set healthy boundaries. It can be a process to figure out what works best for you. Your resilience through challenges is commendable.
What boundaries do you need to set to protect your mental health while also maintaining a healthy relationship?
I'm alone most of the time anyway, and I'm careful about what subjects I bring up in conversation when I'm with people. I don't get personal, for the sake of their boundaries. If they bring it up, then it's okay. I'll listen. Right now, I'm comfortable talking about just about anything. When I finally started talking about my childhood abuse, I realized how much better it felt to talk about it than to keep it to myself, so I don't mind if it comes up in conversation. It doesn't hurt me or embarrass me to say I was sexually abused when I was a boy. I'm rarely in any situations where any other boundaries issues come up. I've never been intimate and I don't know how to be intimate, so there are no boundaries problems there (just loneliness).
@WharfRat You've been through so much. Setting boundaries to protect your mental health while maintaining relationships can be challenging. How have you found talking about your past helps you?
@ASilentObserver
I make sure to make time for myself when I need it and to also give my time when I can. I try to make sure to have boundaries with others but also boundaries with myself so I have a healthy middle-ground when I can.
@GermanZebraCupcake That sounds like an important part of taking good care of yourself. Having balance in your commitments and time for yourself is wise. How does setting these boundaries for yourself and with others make you feel?
@ASilentObserver
It definitely feels manageable and more fulfilling when I have things better organized like this.
Yay for hitting the 55k mark!
This topic, I'll just wait and see what others have to say. I don't think I've had any healthy relationships to share about, maybe because I don't know what boundaries I should have in regards to mental health. All I know is that I want to be honest in my relationships, so it's either I don't mention about my mental health at all, or once something is slipped, I'll tell the other person everything. I don't know if this is good or not, but I don't want to lie, nor pretend to be someone I'm not. I guess that's why many of my relationships were not long-lasting, because once I'm being myself, no one can accept me.
@ASilentObserver
@Jaeteuk It can be challenging to share your whole self while also protecting yourself. Focusing on honesty and being yourself in relationships is wise. How you're feeling makes sense and you're not alone in struggling to find that balance.
Other than family relationships (parents and brother), all other relationships I struggle to be accepted for the entirety of myself. Another fear of not being able to have other relationships other than immediate family members. It is difficult.
@ASilentObserver
I haven't been in a substantial relationship in years, so I don't know how to answer this question. I have issues with trusting people...probably because I have a low estimation of humanity in general, among other things.
@slowdecline48 It sounds like trust has been challenging for you. What impact has not being in a substantial relationship had on you? I hear you sharing a sense of difficulty around trusting others.
Am not really sure how to answer that question...
@ASilentObserver
I find i need to set boundaries around my free time. I often have others that want me to do things with them, or need things from me. I am the type of person that needs regular time alone in order to function and remain level, and so I have to carve out some time for myself that no one else can infringe upon. It gets hard sometimes with work and chores, but I've been trying to be more mindful of it.
@affableStrings4654 That sounds like an important step for prioritizing self-care. What helps you remain level and focused when you have time alone? Creating boundaries for yourself is a skill that takes practice. I'm glad you're being mindful of what you need.
@ASilentObserver
its pretty easy to remain focused when i'm alone because no one else is there to interrupt. i can be in touch with my mind and just do things.
@ASilentObserver
This is too complex an issue for me. I can't answer it at this time.
@purpleTree4652 that is okay purple. we can discuss this. You can share your initial thoughts
@ASilentObserver
What boundaries do you need to set to protect your mental health while also maintaining a healthy relationship?
Ok, thank you, ASO. The first thoughts that come to mind are eating well, and sleeping when I need to. I'm not sure what else.
@ASilentObserver Social boundaries aren't something we learn in explicit education, rather implicit curriculum, passively learned in social interactions. Such an important topic, that goes unnoticed yet effects us so directly. Thanks for posting, a good topic to meditate on.
@JacksonElfers That's an insightful reflection. Social boundaries are such an important part of how we interact and connect with each other. What kinds of social interactions have taught you the most about boundaries?
@ASilentObserver Contending with those who lack boundaries, toxic entities to whom externalize their hurts. School of hard knocks I'd say Obs haha. How about yourself? Was there a point in your life that highlighted the importance of emotional boundaries?