How depression feels to me

The daylight hurts

The darkness hurts

Everything around burns

The feeling of a rock in my chest

Pounds me everyday untill I want it to end

If you could reach in and just take out the rock

Maybe it would go away

The rock is my burden , I am a burden

I don't want to bring others down

I want to talk but push them away

Untill I sit on my bed crying all day

Chores pile up, trash and laundry

The windows never open

I fear if they do I'll look down and jump

But I hold tight to the bed

Irritable and angry

Not what I wanted to feel

Numb to everything nothing ever feels real

Sharp objects are not my friends nor are belts or string

So many things I want to do but I can't move

While I stare at the wall and sigh

It physically hurts to get up and go shower

Then I sit in it letting the water flow down my back

I stay huddled in a ball hoping silently somthing will happen

Hopeless , alone, empty , anxious , but no emotion. Wanting it to end but not having guts to do it. Crying when you reach out to a friend then pull back because you don't want to burden them.

That is what depression feels like to me