Physical symptoms of depression? or of something else?
Hello everyone. Id really appreciate if you would take the time to read my story. I wonder if anyone has been through the same and if youve learnt something after this (and if so please do tell).
Im a 21 year old male. About 6 years ago I remember being bothered by strange symptoms. I would wake up and feel...disgusting. I would feel drugged and fatigued. This would last the entire day. I couldnt think clearly anymore, my memory got worse and I felt it affected my performance in school. This feeling was constant. I kept pushing myself through high school hoping this thing would go away but it didnt. I saw doctors and had basic blood work done to check for the most common things. As the years passed by and I entered university I could no longer just push myself and try to ignore how I feel. The workload was more now, so I couldnt just push myself and get by as I had done in school.
4 years since I started university, I havent even finished my degree, Ive completed half of it and failed course after course several times as I was too fatigued to do anything at all, I wouldnt read for weeks. Throughout this period I saw doctor after doctor thinking something had to show up as my main troubles were the physical symptoms. The symptoms are constant fatigue and desire to rest, feeling drugged and zombie-like, constant strong tingling all over body, IBS-like symptoms, constant body pain all over. 2-3 years ago I also started having difficulty fully feeling emotions, sort of numb feeling that is constantly there now, like Im too fatigued to even feel emotions. I also find I dont have the energy to really care about things the way I used too, as the fatigue has seemed to intensify.
The only abnormalities were an elevated rheumatoid factor which was extremely high (624) and a mildly elevated IgM. Nothing has been found, after an extreme number of doctor appointments and test after test. I saw a psychologist and he said my test score indicated severe depression, but at the same time he said he doesnt think Im depressed as I complain mostly of physical symptoms and I still do feel optimistic and am motivated to do things and I do feel happy from time to time. He also said he hasnt had any depressed patients with a similar picture. Yet the plan now is to try pain medication and antidepressants as nothing helps, not even exercise helps that much (helps for about one hour but then the symptoms are back).
So Im left a bit confused and wondering if depression can present itself in this way? Maybe I was depressed all this time but didnt know it? Does anyone have a similar experience?
@Wanonymous I responded already in the depression area. I hope some others can chime in about experiences with IgM & rheumatoid factor.
Since I mentioned stuff earlier, I'll add in here, I have a high C4 which is weird. CRP sometimes high. Also my white cell count goes high, although some of that might be HAE, but with a reactive lymph node that we can't pinpoint what it's reacting to that may be an indicator of what else for me too.
It's frustrating, hope you can get it sorted - depression or a diagnosis of something else.
@Wanonymous I'm a bit confused too. I Googled some of this, and from what I've read IgM is one of the rheumatoid factors, so if IgM is only mildly elevated, it must be other factors that are extremely high.
The rheumatoid factors seem to be linked to various autoimmune diseases, and they in turn can affect the brain, resulting in depression, fatigue, and what's sometimes called "brain fog".
A mental illness could possibly include both depression and physical symptoms. This would be called something like a somatic symptom disorder. But the range of symptoms you experience seems to be typical of autoimmune diseases.
That extreme rheumatoid factor result, together with the range of symptoms, do make it seem like you should be in the care of a rheumatologist, not a psychologist.
"Nothing has been found, after an extreme number of doctor appointments and test after test" also seems to be a fairly common experience of people who eventually end up diagnosed with one of the autoimmune diseases.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie Ive seen multiple specialists, including a rheumatologist who concluded there were no abnormalities to be found despite the abormal blood tests. And he was thorough. I think (and hope) the last thing I will have done in a month is the MRI of my neck or spine (not sure what the doctor ordered) to see if it could be MS as the constant tingling in both my arms and legs on both should have some sort of cause I think. Ive also read more on depression and although I fit the criteria for major depression, a major depressive episode does not last for years and years, so something here doesnt make sense and if I remember correctly this is exactly why the psychologist didnt think I was depressed. Dysthymia (persistent depressive disorder) is characterized by a constant period of depression for years, but a major criteria here is feeling sad during this time and I cannot say that I feel sad.
@Wanonymous
It must be very frustrating for you. Going back and forth to these health professionals and still not knowing what is causing your symptoms.
Have you considered counselling as a way of coping with all of this?
You may find that talking about this first experience with a counsellor/therapist could help you to find out if there was an event, illness or change of lifestyle that could have brought about this condition.
One of the first steps in your situation would be to look at the possibility of understanding where all this actually began and explore how you felt when this first took place. You must have found your first experiences of this condition worrying - as you were only fifteen at the time - and that is a lot for a teenager to deal with.
Your condition will have made school hard. The more you tried to fight, the more you worried and then the condition will have become worse as a result.
It is understandable that you will have found university more difficult to deal with than high school. The condition is affecting your life severely, yet at the same time, so is the worry of it as well.
There is the issue of the psychological effects of your condition and how you can explore and deal with the effects on your mental well being.
You then need to find a way around this problem so that you can try to move on with your life as best as you can and be as comfortable as possible.
You will need to continue seeking medical advice and be open to professional suggestions. Even if you feel that you are not getting answers to your questions.
Whenever we feel depressed or under any kind of serious stress, there can be a desire to want to sleep. There is this desire to not face the day ahead and the mere thought of getting up to tackle the day can make us curl up and stay in bed.
There are many physical health reasons that can cause this fatigue. It's just unfortunate that you haven't found many answers to your questions. The stress of it all however, could still be a contributing reason for this fatigue.
One way of managing your fatigue could be to 'break everything down' into more manageable portions over the daily/weekly period. This may make life a little less stressful.
You say that exercise helps for about an hour, then the symptoms are back. Regular exercise in very short sessions may at least help alleviate your condition/symptoms for a short while. This will be better than over-doing it, then getting stressed out and over-tired. Little and often is best with exercise (15-30 mins a day is sufficient).
On the subject of struggling with college/university courses. Try setting yourself a timetable of work pattern that breaks everything down into more 'manageable chunks'.
Starting a course - especially a 'full-on' university course - is daunting for anyone, let alone someone who is dealing with a situation such as your's.
You could explore college/university programmes that may allow a more flexible study style such as home-study/flexi-learning or part-time courses.
The drugged/zombie feeling, the body-tingling, the IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and the body pain will need to be discussed further with your doctor/nurse.
However. There is still the psychological side of managing your symptoms and dealing with the worry of it all.
Part and parcel of feeling depressed involves issues with feeling negative, fatigued and numb. This could be resulting in you feeling that lack of emotion. This is an area that could be discussed with a counsellor.
You underwent a test with a psychologist and it indicated that you have severe depression. Yet the psychologist believes that you are not depressed as your symptoms are physical. Yet the worrying must be difficult - and depressing - for you.
Taking anti-depressants under qualified medical supervision may help with your condition and it is always advisable to follow the medical advice given. However. They may not tackle the underlying route.
It does appear that depression/stress and other mental health issues can materialise in a physical form. Conditions such as IBS can be caused through anxiety/depression/stress/over-excitement and so on.
In all fairness, you are right to question if your depression is manifesting itself through your physical symptoms.
This again brings around the suggestion of considering counselling in order to explore what may have been the underlying psychological causes for your condition. Even if the causes are purely physical, there is still the problem of mentally dealing with your condition.
There may still be certain psychological elements that will aggravate your condition and highlight the symptoms more.
You may find that a counsellor/therapist with a more 'holistic' approach to your situation will understand that physical conditions can be interconnected with our mental health.
You may be able to - through therapy - explore when the physical symptoms are at their worst and even pinpoint the times when these symptoms occur. Such as when you feel the most stressed/worried/anxious/depressed. What events in your life trigger these symptoms or make them worse.
You may be able to explore some psychological techniques/treatments which a counsellor could advise you on, in order to help you manage your various symptoms. Even self-help methods such as books, courses or natural remedies.
Although you are not able to cure your condition, you could manage your symptoms and deal with the psychological effects. This is just another perspective which you could explore as you are in a difficult situation and having a hard time finding a way forward.