Things you wish weren't said or assumed about your health conditions (seen or invisible)
Inspired by @Jesusredeemedme2425 because she always makes varied and interesting topic discussions :)
1. For some of us, we can't just pop a painkiller and have the pain, symptoms or discomfort magically washed away, those don't work for me.
That's why I personally choose natural remedies, like heat and rest and binaural beats.
2. Why don't you take my word for it, that I can't manage that action because it aggravates my body or mind and leaves me broken in pieces for a long time..
You make me do something and after that I can barely function, then your response... Oh sorry, I assumed you were exaggerating because you don't look sick to me..
3. Oh just smile and carry on, there's nothing you can do about it, so might as well be happy..
Nope sometimes I want to wallow and be miserable that is all too much, accept my mood, yours can be whatever you want!
4. Why don't you join us?
Because it's a long taxing journey or activity and I cannot manage it. I'm not being difficult or dramatic. I have to think carefully if there are places to sit and rest, how long it takes, will I be standing or walking for a long time, you may not have consider these things but I do!
5. Stop judging a book by it's cover
Yes I may look younger, I may look healthy, I may walk un-aided, that still doesn't mean you get to judge or assume I am not struggling inside or desperately grabbing onto walls or trying to give myself the mental fortitude to take another step instead of collapsing or resting because this time I don't think I can make it home..
6. Illnesses vary from one person to the next, yours could be textbook, mine are not. Just because something works for you, doesn't mean it will for me.
Stop assuming you know my body, my health better than I do. You've read something? Good for you, I know what works and what doesn't!
7. When I say, I can't manage much. It's extremely taxing to go to more than one place/do more than one activity, let alone several.. Don't scoff and laugh, like I'm being a Princess. I physically cannot manage it, it's not an exaggeration.
8. Stop being lazy!
This one makes me scream. Taking care of myself, limiting my movements, napping or getting a lot of rest, helps my body repair itself. I'm not doing nothing, I'm preventing a potential strain or injury that has become all too frequent for me.
I agree with everything here. I've had some absolutely awful life experiences dealing with invisible disabilities. If there's one thing I'm grateful for though, it's that it shows you who is truly kind and who isn't. It's made me a truly empathetic person and a better listener. It's a tough road, though. Sending love 💘
Thank you for adding your input. I feel for you having to endure such negative experiences but it definitely does make us aware of other people's realities and what they are going through as well as our own struggles.
That we don't always have to have it all together, we can be lost sometimes and still make it through. Take care :)
@ScrabbleBrain
Awesome post, made me feel grateful that my passion for exercise, sport and just being active, partially down to be hyperactive has helped minimise the damage that inflammatory arthritis causes me and on recent years has been key to keeping my blood flowing rather than clotting.
I started reading the banter but quickly gave up 😁😁
You need to do this, or you need to do that, armchair advice from people who don't know you, don't ever visit you, don't truly care about the extreme pain, and fatigue, overall weakness and the fact that I barely remember what I did seconds ago. To continue to give armchair advice like that will magically cure me of whatever ails me. Never thinking that a little actual assistance to help accomplish the simple tasks that everybody takes for granted every second of every day would be better appreciated than the constant barrage of whimsical advice about doing things that are beyond realistic for me to accomplish on my own.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami That is very aggravating and frustrating, people thinking they know what's best for you and not even asking you what you need.
I hope in the future they wise up and take into account your wishes :)
@ScrabbleBrain That would be nice. but unfortunately doubtful.
@ScrabbleBrain
Thank you for writing this
I have many health issues few of which are diagnosed
I always feel like I need to sit and it makes me feel lazy because everyone else my age can handle standing for long periods of time
I get 8 hours of sleep and still feel tired and when I tell people that they say "Well I got 4 hours of sleep last night and I'm not tired"
I feel like I'm falling behind in life because my mom doesn't believe that Im having these issues and refuses to get me diagnosed
I also have bad lungs and a poor immune system because of the two bouts of pneumonia I had last year so I get sick more than others even with me taking zinc, immune support pills, multi vitamins, and iron every day for the last year
I also struggle with mental health issues which makes it 10 times harder
please don't assume Im fine or being dramatic just because I'm 16
@PicklesANDOcean4ever Thanks for sharing what you are going through and your challenges. It's rough. I crave sleep but it's so elusive to me.
All I will say is that I hear you and it takes courage to open up about your struggles.
Know that each day, you know, you are trying your best, sometimes, the energy or mood will be low and it's just what it is.
Other days, hopefully it will be better.
@ScrabbleBrain, thank you so much for taking the time to share all of this. ❤️ Your words genuinely mean a lot to me, and I’m so glad that the post resonated with you on such a personal level.
What you said about invisible struggles really stayed with me. You can never truly know what someone is carrying just by looking at them, and I think that’s something we could all use a little more compassion and understanding around.
I especially loved what you said about not having to constantly explain yourself to people who have already decided not to understand. There can be so much strength in knowing your own limits, honouring what your body needs, and permitting yourself to say no without feeling like you have to justify it.
And that “paper cut” comparison really says it all. Something might look small or insignificant from the outside, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt deeply to the person experiencing it.
Thank you for adding your voice to the conversation and reminding others that they aren't alone in this. Keep taking care of yourself, honouring your boundaries, and giving yourself the same compassion you so clearly have for others. ❤️ Sending you lots of love right back! 🌷
@Sindhu03 I appreciate your kind words. I'm glad you got something out of it. It's both down-heartening and uplifting so many have shared their personal experiences with me.
Life is tough but people supporting each other here gives me the warm fuzzies 🥰
@ScrabbleBrain I really agree with the point about not judging someone based on how healthy they look. You never really know what someone is dealing with behind the scenes, and sometimes just believing them can make such a difference. 💛
@eeemilyyy Thank you. I would definitely rather be given the benefit of the doubt, that's for sure :)