What is one thing you wish your family knew/understood about anorexia that they don't?

Personally that it's not just some diet. I'm not choosing to not eat, I have to. I have to not exercise. I feel fat, walking down the street I feel like an elephant.

That even on bad days, I'm still trying. Even when I've missed meals, I still haven't completely given up on recovery. That even though my heart isn't always in it and I may have long periods of relapse, I'm still trying, in my own small way.

That I have it... ha.

My siblings have all suffered from eating disorders, but I'm viewed as the "good child" who never had any problems. In reality, I just keep it from them because I hear the way they talk about my siblings behind their backs and don't want to be a burden or have them pretend to give a damn when they don't.

I want them to realise that I'm not getting better. It's strange, like I want to keep fooling them but I just want to scream that I'm not getting better. I've been relapsing for ages, I suppose in many ways I was never trying to recover.

I just need them to understand how difficult this all is for me. I need them to realise someday's I can't do it, someday's I need to skip this meal and maybe I'll make up for it later. But I've been hiding food and fasting. I just want them to realise they haven't done anything to help me, they have only ever made it worse....

I want them to understand that I am pushing myself and that when I get anxious about food, it's not a choice. My brain just works that way. Even when I am eating in front of them, I am thinking about every bite I am taking.

That you can not just stop.

that recovery is a long process and it's not in a month that you will get better and add some pounds to your body. I hate the way they talk about it it's like they knew how is to have this desease.

It. Is. NOT. About. Food.

Also, just because one has started eating again and put on weight, that does not mean the struggle stops there.

That just because my body looks healthier now doesn't mean I don't still need support sometimes.

That when I've been trying and I look like I've gained some weight, they shouldn't applaud me. Pointing out the pudge makes me want to never eat again.