Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?
I definitely binged yesterday a bit, thinking "I'll start my normal routine tomorrow." Now, the next day, I have an urge to restrict and over exercise. I'll journal, read, and take a walk rather than run today- some of my coping tools!
@MovingForward23 - It's been a couple weeks since you posted this - how are you doing now? I know it's hard to kickstart that routine, but hoping that some piece of it is starting to click into place for you!
Binge a bit yesterday also! Laxatives are make me bloat and more uncomfortable today making the gym a priority 😞
@Kerrr218 - Hi lovely, I completely get that temptation to use laxatives or do something else to cancel out a binge, but it's pretty dangerous - both in terms of what the laxatives can do to your body and in terms of making you more likely to binge again. As hard as it is, the best thing you can do after a binge is acknowledge it happened, try to understand what triggered it and how you could deal with those triggers differently the next time, and then forgive yourself and move forward eating healthily. Essentially, treating yourself and your body with the kindness you would want for a friend.
I'm feeling strong today which means that I propably won't eat the next few days. Hopefully that will make me feel better for a while.
@EvilRegalsReadToo - Why does feeling strong need to mean not eating? What would happen if you used that strength to propel you in a new direction - towards recovery, towards gaining strength instead of thinness, etc.?
I went to an information group session and that was really great, I met absolutely lovely people there !
@NightOwlNightmare - I'm so happy to hear it! How have things been going since the session?
I feel like I need to go for a run for the sake of killing of some calories and, connecting to my breath.
@MRosale9 - I think as you begin to shift that thinking away from the calories piece and more and more towards the pieces around connecting with your breath, with your body, and really focusing on building strength and connection rather than simply trying to shrink, that's when you begin to feel more okay with who you are and less in need of changing yourself or your body.
I feel disgusted as I gained 2lbs last week from eating and now I have to change.
Feeling confused as heck. I can do antiderivatives and solve indefinite integrals, but I sometimes can't tell whether I'm hungry or if my brain is playing tricks on me to get me away from work. Even a baby knows this. Where did I mess up?
@ErwineRommel - That's the really unfair thing with eating disorders - they make you think you're gaining control, but all they do is take from you and make you lose your logic and your understanding of your own body and its needs. But you can regain those hunger and fullness cues - for the time being, the best thing you can do is focus on a meal plan that tells you when your body needs food and what it needs, but with time as your body gets used to being fed normally, it remembers how to know if you're hungry or not and what you need. I promise you can get that back. <3
ED is very loud today, in my head. Feeding me a bunch of lies. Making me feel guilty after doing what 'he' recommended in the first place.
I want to yell at ED and tell 'him': Get out of my head! Leave me alone! and then BYE!
I want to get better ... I need help.
I feel so worthless. Why should I eat. I don't even want to try anymore.
Even though I'm maintaining ...I feel like I gained weight. I'm very upset at the moment. I feel very compelled to do a certain behavior that I know isn't good.. but it calms my anxious thoughts and my disgust about the body that I'm living in. I haven't been to a meeting in weeks. I just feel depressed lately. Every way I turn gets me no where. I'm honestly sick of trying... sick of therapy....sick of putting on a happy face.. sick of being scared that they will force me into inpatient. I just need a break.