Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?
I guess I must be depressed because I don't want to eat anything. I have food in the fridge and in the cupboards, but nothing sounds good. Yesterday was a very hard day too.
I wish there was a different way to fuel my body and brain. (sadness)
@cyanPlatypus6370 - Oh, if only there was an alternative that made things easier! Perhaps one day there will be, but for now, I think we're stuck with just trying to find the best possible alternatives - things that don't feel quite so overwhelming to prepare or to eat and that even when things are especially hard are still manageable. Good luck, and lots of *hugs* to you
9\11
im so tempted 2 purge even tho im under my max calorie limit and all i ate 2day was 2 hardee's biscuits and gravys i just feel like a fat PIG......
and then i walk into work w\ the food and they are screaming at me for leaving 2 go get food wen they no i dont normally eat.
they kept screaming that i shouldve brought them back some food since i was over there in the first place and didnt even ask if they wanted anything. wen 1 of them dared 2 ask... "can i have it?" i was so tempted 2 give it 2 the and fast the whole day! i had 2 fite w\ myself 2 make sure i said "no! i need 2 eat. this is mine and i need 2 COMPLEATELY eat both of them, b\c i probly wont eat anything else 2day...b\c how fattening this is!"
@alexaners7734 - You did 100% the right thing by fighting for yourself and saying that you needed to eat them. I'm really proud of you for that, and I know it wasn't easy, but it was a big step! Good for you!
i dont want to eat. i dont know what to do.
@bansheerain - Can you tell us more about why you don't want to eat? This is a pretty supportive environment and maybe we can help you out a little - I know these things aren't easy to do alone!
I had a rough weekend. I binged and purged like twice a day. I just walked into the kitchen to get one thing, and next thing you know I'm binging. I guess it's because I've been eating so little. I lost another [edited by Anomalia for weight specifics / triggers]lbs. But for some reason I'm not feeling excited about it like I normally do. I mean I know I wanted to lose weight before seeing my new therapist, but I'm kinda nervous. I can't get up b without my eyes blacking out.. it was only a,few secs before..now it's like 20 or 30 secs. It was so scary. I don't know why I do this to myself.... I'm not even that thin.
@Redheadbaker7206 - I think you're absolutely right - restricting so much isn't sustainable, which is what causes the binging later on. It's hard to make your body agree sometimes, but eating normally is a far easier way to avoid those binges and to help normalize the other things. It's definitely scary to hear about the blacking out, especially if it's getting worse - that's not the sort of thing that goes away without starting to give your body the nourishment that it needs.
I know it's really hard to want to give up the eating disorder when you're not feeling ready, but I also think that as more and more of this is happening, it's coming close to a time that a decision has to be made. What do you think?
i feel miserable! i ate more than usual, especially since over the weekend i was under my min. calories needed 2 live\ max im comfortable eating......now i feel ultra guilty for eating.
and then i basicly got a job offer on the condition that i have 2 eat more.... :"(
and if i dont take the offer, i lose both jobs i already have now. :(
i finally stopped disagreeing w\ my body and ate.
then my body starts disagreeing w\ me, starting a whole nother argument that felt like it was going 2 kill me from the inside...the verbal part of the argument my insides were so loud that the next 3hrs. after i ate,while i was at work, everybody was constantly askin if i was ok.
I feel like I'm in complete relapse. I haven't eaten in weeks now. I feel too scared to eat. I know I should. I want to. They served cake today at work, and I was so scared...and ashamed. My heart has been acting funny...and my legs feel weak. I haven't said anything because I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. My mind tells me one thing....my body another. I wish I could go back...
My friends wanted to go out for lunch today. It was so hard for me to force myself to eat something. I just felt disgusted by all the food around me. And I seriously hate eating in front of people.
@decisiveVase00 - I'm sorry it's been so tough lately. When you do have to eat with other people, are there any things that make it easier to do?
cant stop counting calories!! :'(
I feel so lousy today. I had my second appt with my therapist, and I felt like she was rushing it.. do I asked her if we could slow down a bit. ..and I think it bit me in the button. I spent 40 mins talking about my son's school and the move i just made. I didn't want to talk about nothing...I felt like I wasted my time...and money bc I'm paying cash. When I tried going into details about my past .she said i should write it down. I felt like she didn't care. I'm not sure if I want to go back. I don't want to start over because of how hard it was going... if I knew how to help myself I would. I guess I took it out on myself for not being more assertive... and I binged and purged a lot today. On top of that I think buying a house with him...was the worst move I could make. I feel so alone. I'm so sad. I completely messed up my life. I'm so depressed...
