Breaking up with my dad
Well, just wanted to clarify some things: I'm new and English is not my first language, is just that's easier to talk about this in a language otherr than Spanish.
When I was a kid I used to think my dad was the best, even though he wasn't there or even though I barely saw him. But he was my dad, and I loved him with all my heart. I used to think our relationship was perfect, until I grew up and I began realizing what really happened.
I realized that I barely saw him, luckily twice or thrice a month, but is was enough for little me. I realized that going out with him meant we weren't going to spend time together because the scenarios would be the same:
1. He would pick me up and I would be ignored so he could visit his family or friends.
2. I would be ignored so he could go shopping for himself or anyone but me and it wouldn't matter because, at the end he would buy me with a candy or something.
3. I would be ignored so he could have a date.
4. I would be ignored so he could spend time with his other kids.
5. Maybe, and just maybe he would take me to a park and I would be happy thinking I had the best dad.
Of course, a kid doesn't know about child support and how it is until your mom sues him and your dad takes it on you, so he punishes you by ignoring you for months. And he calls some day and you are happy because daddy is back.
And you have to grow up to see that his miserable chil support doesn't cover anything. And you are worried about your future, and he starts pushing you into quitting school and get a job. And you try to talk to him, but he stops the car and drags you out saying your mom should pay for it. And he ignores you for almost a year.
And now you are 18, and you are in college, and he doesn't want to help you, so you sue him. And you prepare yourself, but the judge is on his side and you lost it.
So, the relationship is broken. You had to get a part time job, and your daily routine is six hours of school plus seven hours of work and you are tired all day because you barely have four hours of sleep.
And once a month he calls you, just to scream at you and say that you are useless because you don't want to work.
And now you cry almost every night because you hate him, but you still love him.
And the saddest thing is that, you don't really hate him for what he did, you hate him because he wants you to believe it is your fault.
And you hate him because he ruined your concept of love and parenthood.
@NotMyRealName666
I want to first thank you for sharing your story with us. I know it was probably hard to open up so deeply about this. This definitely sounds like an upsetting experience for you. I am sorry to hear about your childhood experiences with your father and how he has been treating you. I can understand breaking up with your father and cutting off communication. It sounds like he was never really much of what a father should be. A father should not hold the faults of the parents against the child. It doesn't seem very fair. I am sure you are a lovely girl and you should be treated with tender care and love, not yelling. Hugs, if you allow them. We are here for you in this community.
Thank you for your support.
When I found out about this community I felt hope because I knew I could join and bond with people that had similar experiences or at least wouldn't judge me.
So, I really appreciate your support.
Thanks, for real, thank you.
@NotMyRealName666
Anytime. This is a great community for that. ^_^ Have you had time to check out the group chats yet?
Well, I haven't done it but I'll do it soon :)
@NotMyRealName666
Awesome. I am sure you will find that you are accepted there.
That is such a tough situation to go through at such a young age. Dealing with parents who are extremely self centered and careless is so damaging to your mental health, I can relate to that. You have every right to cut him out of your life. There is no sense in having someone who doesn’t contribute to your well being continue to affect how you feel and think. Do what is best for you and your future self.
