One thing I wish my family did differently is__

@Hope I wish I told my parents and siblings a more the things I Love about them.

I wish I never stopped being lively and bringing humor and positive energy to the house. (I stopped after my dad choked on his drink while laughing to my jokes as a child. He was hospitalized. Then growing up, teenage depression and adulthood followed). I want to restore uniting good vibes back in my family

To treat me and my kids the way they treat my other siblings and their families. I’m more of the “black sheep” in my family. My parents don’t ever come to any of my kids sports games. Etc. and I wish they wanted to spend more time with all of us and treat all my siblings, their kids, and my kids and me and my husband all the same.

Been less avoidant of problems and more upfront about when we couldn’t deal with them.

@Hope

Oh my... lots of stuff. First and foremost: I wish my mother had worked through enough of her own anger and familial issues before she decided to start one of her own. And second, that both my Dad and Step Dad weren't so committed to living up to patriarchal ideals of what a "real" man should be. Those things would've saved me a lot of headaches growing up and now.

@Hope

i wish my family wouldnt be so harsh on me! :')

I wish my mom saw me for me, and not what she wanted me to be. I wish she didn’t dump her own issues on me all the time, and play victim all the while. I realize now she was always a narcissist. I was constantly masking and being perfect for her, which was exhausting. She kicked me out twice for reasons I can’t remember, and every time we argued I ended up blaming myself because she always played victim. I had become an inferior servant to her emotional needs, and to this day I am lost and insecure because of being raised this way. Sometimes I wish I had a mom that wasn’t stressful to be around. I have since moved away from her, but it still feels empty without a true mom who cares and understands my introverted ways.

I wish that they would have gone to therapy to deal with their own trauma instead of shutting themselves off. It would have solved a lot of things and prevented a lot of pain.

I wish someone would have stood up for me. Spoke up for me. Instead of taking advantage of opportunities they had to be abusive. I wish they would have given me a chance to be a part of their family

Nothing at all.

Like many of us, I don't have the perfect family. In a typical conservative chinese one like mine, there are many unspoken customs and expectations. We're constantly expected to perform better than our peers, and it seems like we're always measured by our inadequacies rather than our strengths. Of course, there is zero sympathy for or acceptance of homosexuality, it's almost like non-heterosexual relations don't exist at all. There are innumerable dysfunctions in my family, and I simply won't be able to give a complete list of this.

However, with the bad comes the good. My dad is a man of exceedingly few words, but I do not consider him unsupportive. In his own awkward, unspoken way, he shows his love by always being available. My mother is the polar opposite when it comes to talking -- she never stops. It gets on my nerves so very often, and I've been plenty rude telling her that she gets quite naggy. Is that a bad thing? Or is it her own way of trying to show that she loves me dearly and wants to be involved in everything she can be when she's still around? Her actions and their results may show her to be insufferable at times, but I thank the stars that for everything she does, she means it with the best intentions.

I think this thread is a good chance for us to see beyond the plain actions of our families, and really connect with the warmth and good that is just below the surface. I've said this earlier, and I repeat it here: there's absolutely nothing at all that I want differently. I love and cherish them, and by seeing my loved ones through this lens, I'm absolutely thankful for everything.