Supporting my girlfriend.
My girlfriend is currently an inpatient in a mental health unit. She went in to get her medication sorted out and I guess with all the therapeutic groups a lot has come up for her to do with traumatic events that have happened in her life. I suffer from mental health issues myself, I’m unsure as to how to support her as best as possible while still keeping my head above water. She doesn’t have a support network at home whatsoever, her parents don’t check in on her at all. So I guess you could say me and my mum are the only support she has at this moment in time. I’m concerned as to what the plan is upon discharge as I can’t be there 24/7 for her and I know she’s going to find it hard to cope with navigating through all of this stuff. I hope therapy will help but I feel as if it’s super hard when you can’t rely on the people you live with. Any tips on how to provide support while also looking after yourself?
@SLP97 I'm not an expert, but here are a few ideas.
Ask the unit what the support plan is after your girlfriend is discharged. Mental health professionals are normally well aware that the period after discharge from an inpatient stay is a critical time. They might have useful literature, or someone you can contact.
Sign up as a listener here at 7 Cups, just to take the training. You don't actually have to do any listening here, but you can use ideas from the training to help in supporting your girlfriend.
To keep your head above water, think about your own boundaries—what you can and can't do. Maybe do this jointly with your mum. Maybe write down what you decide, as a reminder if things get complicated later.
Consider suggesting 7 Cups to your girlfriend, but encourage her to avoid letting the system assign random listeners, and instead show her how to find experienced listeners on the Browse Listeners page.
Feel free to click on my profile picture and message me if you'd ever like to chat about the situation.
Charlie
Thanks for your reply. Much appreciated. I might take you up on having a chat actually.
@SLP97
I am sorry to hear your girlfriend has been hospitalized. I know that must be very hard for both of you and I undersand your concerns. You've brough up some very valid concerns about balancing care for her and care for yourself. Are you in touch with her treatment team at the hospital? As her primary caregiver, I would think it would be important for you know about any aftercare, resources, and safety plans she has in place before her discharge. And, it might give you some peace of mind knowing what will happen once she leaves the hospital so that you can be encouraging and supportive of her treatment. You mentioned that you also have mental health struggles. Do you have a treatment team of your own supporting your needs? If not, is that something you would like to consider? So many caregivers put themselves and their needs the last but it's impossible to fill someone else's cup if yours is empty. Remember, taking time to care for yourself is a great way to ensure you are able to support her needs. What things do you enjoy the most? Can you commit to making time, even if for 30 minuets a day, to do something you really enjoy; something that will fill your cup?
I’m not in touch with her treatment team, no. I’m not necessarily her primary caregiver I’m just really only the support that she has. I’m sure she will relay the information that they give her to me, but ultimately I can imagine they will be speaking to her mum about the discharge plan. I have a therapist and a decent support network surrounding myself, at the moment I’m doing things that I enjoy but I know it’s probably going to get a bit intense once she does leave hospital.
if you are able to find any tips through the process will you please share (:
It's good to stay in contact with her and ask her if she needs anything. Also, it's important to take care of yourself as well and find things that you enjoy.
