Unsollicited advice
Hey guys, this is something that is really bothering me . For a while now I've felt that whenever I talk with my parents (most noticeably mother) about what is happening in my life they always tends to go and give advice even though I don't want it. A week ago or so my mom actually called me out of bed in the morning (!) to give me advice in regards with me sharing the night before something about my personal life (of which I clearly stated at the time and many other times "I don't need advice!"). I feel at a loss of what to do with this, I feel I've stated A LOT of times that I don't need her advice and can manage fine on my own but it just doesn't seem to come across. I hate it too because right now I just find myself just holding back everything I feel around them and I just being angry all the time being around them and I hate that and don't want that. Yet I've already told them so many times in the past and it just doesn't seem to come across. Has anyone dealt with this or can relate? As I've said right now I'm finding myself holding back and just being aloof and almost cynical around them and I really hate that and don't want that. But I don't know what to do beyond getting just angry and upset at them and I don't want our relationship to go that way because even though we have our differences they are still my parents
@KittyKeats Yes, I know people like that 
I think it's a common problem. I searched the Internet and found a lot of information, but it's mostly for advice-givers. Here's one that's more relevant: How to Handle Unwanted Advice by Setting Boundaries
Another way I've tried to deal with it is to recognize that the person has a need to give advice, and deliberately ask for advice on fairly unimportant things. Then I listen attentively and give them positive feedback for their helpful advice (even if I don't follow it!) At the same time I'll immediately end the conversation and walk out if they try to give advice I didn't ask for. This means the person gets their needs met, and we can still have a relationship if they play by the rules.
But it isn't easy, and people are all different, so what works for one person might not work for another.
Charlie
