Fed up with my stupid parents!!!
I'm on ssi and at least once every month, they are asking me for 170 to 220 dollars. Today is valentines day and my dad asked me to give him money so that he could "show my mom a good time". It is obvious to me this was for gambling. Well, as I always do, i gave him the 220 through a money sending app. NOW, my mother is asking for 220 more!!! She might not even be able to give me my money back until march 3rd and that was the money I had for the rest of this month! These are my living expenses and my parents think I'm rich!
They are BOTH deliberately lying to me about what the money is for! "We are stuck at xyz because we can't pay for x! Help us! We can't go home until we pay the money!!" This is the lie every time! If I tell them no, it's always "We help you! We let you eat our food! Use our kitchen!" I pay for my own food and eat their's sometimes, but I pay for it. I have bought ingredients and stuff from resturaunts so we all could eat. Then they start saying, "You NEVER help out! You're eating OUR food!!" I pay for that crap! You never help us!! Bla bla bla!
I always give them gambling money! I've been tricked into believing the same lie everytime and feeling so bad, I just give them the money and they don't come home until like 7 hours later! I HATE having to walk all 4 of their dogs and then they start saying, If gou don't give us the money, you'll have to walk our dogs!! I give them the money and they literally don't come home for hours!!! The place they go to is only like 30 mins to an hour away!
I am *** at them! I feel like an idiot! Yes, they do pay it back, but they act like I'm STACKED or something!
Am I overreacting? How do I stop giving them money? I'm only fueling their addiction and my grandpa gets in on it and says he'll pay me back with his check money. I feel so mad! They think a disabled woman is made of money.
@Lightblue77
I can hear how frustrated and hurt you are feeling right now. You love your family and are feeling pressured to give them money that you could need for yourself. Anyone stuck in this situation would feel torn between helping and protecting themselves. From what I am hearing the big part comes from them asking for money and not being honest about why they are asking for it
You deserve to feel safe and secure with you fiances. Something like exploring small boundaries could be a strong first step. What would feeling more in control of this situation look like for you?
@Schlag I was perfectly fine with giving them 220, but then they asked for more and I got mad. I guess I'm also mad bdcause when I was kid they never gave me money the way I did them, but that is also because they're addicted to gambling. I also kind of feel like the child they kept close just so they could have a caretaker and bank. My mom always wants me to be close to her. She doesn't want me to move out or get married and I think it's because she wants my money. That makes me really mad!
I'd feel more in control if I didn't have to put up with the constant emails about how my dad helps me and "never does this to me." I will let them borrow a certain amount like 220, but no more than that. They always seem to threaten me with "you can't use our kitchen or eat our food!".
All of it just makes me upset. Especially the part about being close tl my mom just so that sge can use my money. I'm an adult. I'd move, but the economy is terrible!
i wont say i can relate but i will say i know what its like to give money to family while others dont and i dont have much from it i get family but at a point if we are the servant or everythig is let for you then when can you think how long will this last before everything is gone try to take it easy those are always losing battles heres a writting from a different time (To say hello is harder than a few things; we find it hard to understand the world, never seems to care. So we much leave for this feels the only way to improve anything, when the air disappears from the breath we are told is a gift yet feels like a curse. Ever heard the expression getting hit in the face by a brick wall only if you could see my job and if others didn’t see it I wounded believe it myself but I understand that personally and it hurts less than the void. )
Also, when they can't pay for the internet, or propane or anything, I help them, but when they get mad, they complain that I don't help at all.
You are experiencing significant emotional and financial strain due to your parents' gambling addiction and manipulative behavior. They frequently pressure you for money, using guilt and false emergencies to obtain your SSI benefits, which you rely on for living expenses. Despite your contributions to household costs and care for their pets, they dismiss your help and accuse you of not contributing. This cycle of financial abuse and gaslighting has left you feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, especially as you struggle to protect your own resources while dealing with their persistent demands.
