Help or Advice for dealing with older sister
Hi everyone, I'm 6 months pregnant and having a really difficult time with a family situation.
My older sister has been in constant crisis mode for years, daily calls about the same financial problems and relationship conflicts that have been ongoing for 15+ years now. She asks for advice but never follows it, and every conversation ends up being emotionally draining. I'm just tired atp.
I love her so much, but between my difficult pregnancy, parents in poor health, and her daily crises, I'm completely overwhelmed. I feel like I need to create some distance to protect my own wellbeing and focus on my own family, but I'm scared of hurting her feelings.
Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? How do you set boundaries with family members who are struggling when you're also going through a lot? I feel guilty even thinking about stepping back, but I'm exhausted and don't think this is healthy for me or my baby.
Any advice or just knowing others have been there would be so helpful. Thank you ❤️
@AppalachianBelle
I commented on your other post!
I hope you get the support you need!
💕💜
I had a similar situation, I think it's best to be gentle but let the person know that you feel overwhelmed and might not be able to talk as often.given your situation,I think she should understand. You can also tell her that it makes you feel anxious and she never takes the advice. She may not even realize what she's doing.
I've done this and this is the only thing that's worked for me. In a way I was kind of standing up for myself because I felt like I was the emotional dumpster. It was way too much because I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells to not say the wrong thing, be a good listener and gentle but it was detrimental to my own well-being. This is not a sustainable type of relationship. And if you want to save your relationship with your sister then you have to create healthy boundaries for yourself. Be prepared that she may not take it well but at some point you do have to take that step. Best of luck! Let me know if you have any questions.
Sometimes they need to learn on their own. The best advisor is the bad experiences.
@AppalachianBelle It is completely understandable why you would feel overwhelmed given that you are 6 months pregnant, your parents are having health issues and your sister is relying on you in her regular moments of crisis. It must be frustrating to be the source of advice for your sister and her not listening to you. Your compassion and love for your sister shows through your post, however it is completely valid why you want to put your health and the health of your baby first.
Know both your rights and responsibilities.
Yes you care for your sister but you also care for yourself. Its not selfish to say No. Its not selfish to express youre exhausted. You, too, deserve compassion. Sometimes people may not give it to us and we have to protect ourselves on our own. Even if someone gets hurt in the process, it should not make you feel guilty. People understand with time about other people's limitations and reflect about themselves as well. You can do more when you're fit but when you're burnt out, you'd only do the high priority stuff. Dont be confused. Youre thinking correct. Best wishes. ❤️
@AppalachianBelle
