What are some skills you should have before getting married?
I recently realised how much skills I lack and how immature I am. I started to work on the areas that I feel like need a change, but I need some help. What are some things you should know how to do before getting married?
@sadcat13 The first thing that pops in my mind that people should know how to do is talk to one another and share their feelings. Communication is important, especially effective communication. Marriage takes work and knowing how to communicate versus shutting down will save a whole lot of heartache. ♡
@YourCaringConfidant thank you 😊 yes, communication is crucial 😊
@sadcat13
Social skills, relationship skills, communication skills, manners, kindness, knowledge of how to treat and care for your wife to keep her happy, always be honest
Those are definitely some of the top ones!
@akunknown thank you 🌻
@sadcat13
You are most welcome. Good luck to you with acquiring any skills you need to get or improving on any of them. Either way you got this my friend!! ❤️
Emotional regulation. If one knows how to regulate their own emotions then it’s way easier to handle interpersonal relationships without reacting but responding appropriately!
Listening first and using “I” statements instead of “you” statements while having any argument or disagreement. Letting your partner know how you feel instead of what they did.
@gwen03 fair enough 😊
@sadcat13
Keeping the relationship alive and thriving…
What adventures are you going to go on together? What mutual hobbies could you develop/be passionate about together?
How will you keep up with intentional date nights?
How will you give each other space/time apart?
What are mutual future plans that you both want to work together?
What are their dreams and what role will you play in supporting them? And vice versa!
Conflict
I-statements. But also self-knowledge and positive regard for your partner. There’s a book called non-violent communication, it’s a great intro to this kind of thing.
Boundaries. Be clear! Be aware! These can change and shift over time so loop your partner in. Don’t give up your boundaries to please others, they’re important/critical to keep the dynamic/relationship functional, healthy and happy!
I’m still learning myself too, so I’ll be happy to see what others share in the thread too. 👀
You said you noticed some things you have to improve on relationally, what were some of those for you?
@Reddi thank you for your insights 😊 I am struggling with the entire mature adult able to keep myself alive thing like chores and general adult responsibilities
I see! So you’re working on your life and self care skills. Yeah, that can be a little hard to find your way of getting it all taken care of. Especially the boring adult necessities like taxes, transportation, housing etc.
It can get/be better and worse when someone else is involved so that’s something to keep in mind!
It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders about it at the moment though. That’s the most important place to start. 🥰 Rooting for you @sadcat13
@Reddi thank you. I´m trying to figure it all out while battling huge frustration over not learning all this naturally and sooner. But now that getting married is something I want within 2-3 years, it is time for me to sort my mess out.
@sadcat13
- Communication.
- Make sure you're comfortable talking to your partner.
- Communicate.
@sadcat13 it kind of depends...what do you want your role to be? (husband/wife)