I feel like a let down
Hi all,
So this is my first post here.
I feel so alone and I will be honest I have been diagnosed this year with anxiety and depression and I'm currently on medication.
This year I've had to quit working all together. This time last year I was a senior residential support worker on a more than comfy wage. I've had to quit due to my sons ongoing needs and medical illness getting worse resulting In him not attending school for the previous 4 months before summer holidays.
He has suspected hirchsprungs disease (awaiting specialists)
Auditory processing disorder
Challenging behaviour physically and verbally
Sensory overloads
Has an EHCP which is being reviewed in September
Is currently attending therapy every week
In the past year has had over 30L of laxatives at the hospital as well as daily laxatives.
He struggles socialising so we don't get invited to his friends houses etc
I'm struggling as I feel like I've let my family down by not working (even tried part time and the day I was due to start we ended up in hospital) I've always worked
Literally have to take everything day by day so I can't work, we've just spent a week in hospital again and wasn't expecting it.
It's the school holidays and we Literally haven't seen anyone or been anywhere. I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I just need to speak to another adult and have some socialisation, feel I'm going insane.
I dont have any friends
I dint have anyone other than my mum
I have my partner but our relationship is on a thread with everything that's happened and he works most days with me having to stop which he throws in my face when we argue.
@MamaB93 Your doing the best you can.
You have a lot going on,right now with your son and your health.
I understand you have always worked.
Try not to worry so much about working right now.
Can you maybe apply for disability for you?
That way you can get some money coming in.
Focus on your health.
For your son, maybe try looking into home care for him, so your not taking care of him 24/7.
Because, you need to look after yourself.
I am a bit worried that your not looking after your own needs, and focusing all your attention on him.
I understand you love your son, and you want to be there for him, but what good are you doing him, if your not feeling well yourself?
Something to think about.
Your health matters as well.
So please remember this.
I hope this helps some.
@MamaB93 I can relate. My son, 4 years old now, has medical issues too. In early 2020 his bladder stopped working. He was in full retention and in so much pain. After several trips to the ER he was able to get in to see a specialist. He had a surgery and was in the hospital for three nights. He had a suprapubic catheter for several months. During that time he had several procedures to change his tube under anesthesia. Then in September he had major surgery for an appendicovesicostomy. Now I can do his catheter through his belly button where a channel was created to his bladder. I do that several times a day and then tape a catheter in to drain in a diaper at night. Things are more stable with him now thankfully. He is my youngest of five. I also got on medication for anxiety and depression and don't have friends for support. Great job taking that step when you needed it and also getting into therapy. I haven't taken that step yet.
I don't work, but that isn't new for me. I'm sorry your husband is being unsupportive. That seems so unfair of him. Clearly you don't have a choice right now.
💙
I give you a hug . Something is going to change for you . I had to stop working myself and I like you did enjoy doing work but I became disabled and had to stop. Change will come if that is what you want. I just wish the best for you. Take care.
