I know this makes me sound like a bad person but i need advice
Okay heres the story. I know this makes me a bad person but I need assistance of how to get out of it.
I’ve known this girl since elementary school. Her parents are friends with my parents so we see each other often and stuff. Well we’ve quote on quote been friends since elementary school. I’ve stopped really liking her since middle school for multiple reasons but I’ve acted like I liked her and been friends with her. I was young and dumb and mean. In high school, I ghosted her and we stopped talking for a bit and I get that that hurt her. We’ve never really talked about. As a adults now, we talk every once in a while and occasionally get breakfast or dinner here and there when I’m in town
Heres my issue. I still don’t like her and it’s been years of this weird cat and mouse stuff but im sick of being two faced ahd acting like I do. I really need to be honest anf up front with her because I know I’m being a real jerk acting like her and I still get along.
Heres the reasons I don’t like her that I need help trying to say in a less mean way. To be blunt, sges a complete narcissist, unbelievable selfish, ahd mainly she always puts me town and makes everything a competition. I tell her I like something, she says something negative about it. I share how I graduated school and she goes and talks about how great she was at school that people complimented her about her vocabulary. She’s always highlighting her life things, she makes passive comments about my clothes and body to put me down, and she makes every conversation about herself. She’s a serious pick me girl and tries way too hard for attention.
How do I have this conversation with her? She doesn’t understand why I ghosted her in high school and I’ve never explained. How do I now? Shes been like this since elementary school and we’ve always had this weird life long competition thing and I know how to just finally be upfront with her. I don’t know how to bring it up or how to say those things nicely.
@drzombienoodles
It doesn't make you a bad person .
You don't deserve to be spoken down to or mistreated or made to feel ashamed about any aspect of yourself.
I wouldn't get too personal.
I would just say, we drifted apart and have different priorities and you want friends who gave you the sane energy back, not bring you down 💖
@drzombienoodles
The reality is that you are a grown up and do not owe an explanation of why you ghosted in high school etc. I understand it is hard to get along with someone that makes it feel like everything is a competition. Maybe she too is faking thinking she has to have lunch etc if you are in town.
It is OK to be honest that you have grown apart, and no one should feel obligated to keep up an old friendship. especially one that is not working for both parties.
I just don’t know what to do now cause she still reaches out to me and invites me to go do things and I don’t want to. She also texts me occasionally and kindly reply but I don’t want any contact with her. But if I ghost her right now, it’ll just be the same thing I did in high school and I don’t know if that’s right.