I need an opinion (if woman better)

Hello I’m a 17 year guy on his junior year in high school, long story short i don’t have a lot of friends and struggle a lot socially thanks to my insecurities, I was all alone for my last middle school year, one I started high school I was determined to try to change things, I tried better at socializing and it sort of worked, I met these girls N & A , they were really fun to be around and had a lot of fun during the first hs year, we weren’t that close tho, since we never really spoke or did anything outside of school, and sometimes I felt excluded in some type of way because well I’m a boy and they’re girls, but I was satisfied because I went from having no one talk and no one to sit with during lunch, to have them, but something happened recently that changed things, basically I recently started my junior year and there is this girl J that’s really nice joyful and funny, she’s closer friends with the N and A and we sometimes spoke during our sophomore year but it wasn’t really that much, point is the first few days I started to get closer to J because we had 2 classes and lunch together, anyways a few days ago, me, J, N, and 2 other girls were eating lunch, suddenly J starts talking about things a lil bit explicit she and her bf did, one of the girls joined in her convo and well they started talking about experiences poses yk what im talking about all that stuff, so I wasn’t really uncomfortable with anything they said because it’s their life let them be and it’s really no my problem yk, but I did find it oddly random but in a funny way, that same day on my last period which I have with A I talked to another girl who has nothing to do with J or the other girl, about the convo during lunch and she was shocked (obviously), I didn’t think I was doing anything bad I wasn’t thinking, I just thought it’d be a funny thing to tell, the next day I found out A told J that I told that one girl, so J, N, and the other girl from the convo confronted me during lunch, J started talking about how she was feeling comfortable saying that sort of stuff around me because she thought she could do it, and I also tell them stuff too, I’m basically being a hypocrite, what really broke me when was she said that she was starting to like me (as friend ofc) but then I go and do this, I felt horrible, again I didn’t realize what I was actually doing, hearing that someone actually was starting to like me for a chance it felt good because again I don’t have friends whatsoever, and well knowing that I ruined that made me feel bad, we weren’t really that close, but I enjoyed her company and I was looking forward to maybe become closer one day, the discussion ended with her threatening me that if she hears her name around again her an I are gonna have a problem, an hour after school ended I sent her an apology text, and tell her how I felt and she responded with this (it’s translated cuz it was in Spanish) “Thank you for apologizing. I really appreciate it, but what you did upset/hurt me, and I don't know if I feel comfortable being as close to you as I was before. But that doesn't mean I'm going to make Nuria or the others stay away from you or stop us from eating with you at the cafeteria!” this was bittersweet to me because ok yes I apologized and that’s a good thing but things won’t go back the way they were, I suck at socializing and that screwed me over, I should’ve known better I really hope one day I can fully understand how to act around people specially kids my age anyways, today, J never talked to me and neither did N, A did talk to me with was reassuring really, but it still felt like something was missing, so anyone, preferably girls, is there anything I can do to make this situation better I really like them and I don’t wanna lose them despite it not being that deep, I don’t have anyone else at school.

Ty for reading btw sorry for the yap