988 Lifeline experience
Hey whats ya'lls experience w/ the hotline? i know for me it was helpful when i didnt use it frequently, today i did try and i usually call cus i prefer call and its faster but i feel like the more u use the line, (they do say call back if u need to again AND they are a prevention line and emotional support line) , the more finicky it gets, i spoke with a familair consulor that had helped me in the past and had a nice chat 2 days ago and today i called and this isnt even the first time, i felt nervous, and idk if they were suspicious or dissapointed or not abt not improving but they sounded like it, not the first consulor too. Im not so sure what their intention was i feel like they couldve been more mindful abt their tone and stuff, i did ask reassurance for this they did answer but i feel more worser and i also feel like they sped my call a bit and basically as if they wanted me to just 'improve'. Yk when ppl put it in a pushy way? yk? well part of the process is emotional support so -_- also i feel like they were passive agressive, maybe not but tone matters alot, myeh, and i also read a rude reddit post of ex-consulors bashing the callers or blaming them then saying the callers blame everything, which spoiled my look on the calls. if u guys do have experinces let me know or if u are a consulor or ex consulor, please keep it respectful and kind, if theres triggering stuff do please add a Trigger Warning or maybe reframe details
@berrycheesecake90
It’s completely valid that you noticed a shift in tone, and I want to share a perspective from the other side of the line to hopefully ease some of that worry.
As a 988 counselor (shhh don’t tell anyone here, it’s a side gig for me), I can tell you: please keep calling. We genuinely mean it when we say: "Call back if and when you need a connection." We have a term for people who reach out often—"frequent callers" (or sometimes "frequent fliers")—and I want to be clear that it isn’t a bad thing. It means you are actively choosing to stay safe and seek support, which is exactly what the line is for.
However, because counselors are human beings, the experience can for sure vary. Every counselor has a different style, level of energy, or way of communicating. Some counselors will stay on the line for hours, even though we are told to wrap up a conversation after a certain amount of time. Sometimes, if a counselor feels like they’ve covered the same ground with you before, they might try to pivot toward "improvement" or "action steps" a bit too quickly or pushily. While their intention is usually to help you move forward, it can come across as passive-aggressive, impatient, or dismissive if the tone isn't right.
It’s okay to feel disappointed when a call doesn't hit the mark, but please don't let one "off" interaction or a negative post online discourage you. Most of us are here because we care deeply about providing that emotional support. If you ever feel like a counselor is rushing you or is not being mindful of their tone, you’re allowed to advocate for yourself or even hang up and try again to get connected with someone who feels like a better fit in your moment.Your moment is important. It’s extremely important that you get what you need in the moment. What truly counts is how You feel after the interaction.
There are grounding techniques you can use for yourself if a call doesn’t go as expected. If you’d like any of those, I’ll be happy to share. Believe me, I’ve used them myself when a call didn’t go as I expected! Humans are miraculous, creative and sometimes unpredictable beings. And I love you and me for that!
Love and Courage,
Calm Rosebud 🕊️🌹
Thank you 💖 and sure u can share these grounding trchniques
@berrycheesecake90
Hey, I’m so sorry that call was such a letdown. When I’m feeling really wound up or stuck in my head like that, I find it helps to just focus on something physical for a minute. Maybe try splashing some cold water on your face or grabbing an ice cube to hold just to reset your system. You could also try the 5-4-3-2-1 trick where you just look around the room and name five things you see and four things you can touch. It sounds a little cheesy, but it’s actually a great way to snap back to the present. Even just stepping outside for a second to get some different air or putting on a song you love can help shift that heavy feeling. Just take a deep breath and remember that one bad interaction doesn't have to ruin the rest of your day.
It is completely understandable to feel shaken up after a rough interaction, and taking a moment to be kind to yourself is the best thing you can do right now. You might try grabbing a soft blanket or your favorite cozy sweater to feel a sense of comfort and physical safety. If you have a pet nearby, spending a few minutes petting them can be incredibly soothing and helps lower those stress levels naturally. Making a warm cup of tea or cocoa can also be a gentle way to nurture yourself, as the warmth in your hands and the slow sipping encourage you to slow down. Sometimes just stepping away from your phone and looking at your garden or the plants you’ve grown can remind you of the steady, quiet things in life. You could also try listening to some calming music or a favorite Disney song to shift the energy in the room. Most importantly, remind yourself that it is okay to feel upset and that you deserve this time to just breathe and be gentle with yourself until the feeling passes.
Love and Courage,
Calm Rosebud 🕊️🌹
yeh i definitly think i dont prefer consulors who pivot, as recovery takes time espc with close to no support group. Not sure abt what the consulor i spoke with meant or didnt but didnt make me feel good
@berrycheesecake90
Honestly, I think the important thing is what you will do in the next few hours. Will you take exquisite care of yourself, nurture yourself? I hope so. I hope you know you are the best thing that has ever happened to you.
With Love and Courage,
Calm Rosebud 🕊️🌹
wdym?
Swear theres this issue on the line where consulors hang up. I had a consulor and this the second time in a row they hanged up. Maybe tech issues but honestly this is the second time. And ive had some who randomly do silence and hang up. 🤦♀️ i did see warmlines but none are rlly available at this time.. if all else fails ill try and find another option. Usually over chat they are much more compassionate
It’s terrible if a counselor hung up on you. Many times it’s more likely it was a technical issue of some kind since these electronic platforms are finicky. You said you’ve tried warm lines and they didn’t work for you. You’re making the huge effort to reach out and that’s very brave. Would you like me to search for more resources for you?
Im not sure, if anything i will just send another message on the forum
I like the pace of the forum, honestly. I thought I liked sharing circles the most, but with forum posts there’s more time to choose words thoughtfully. It reminds me of the first line of a poem by Max Ehrmann, “Desiderata,” which goes like this: “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.”
Love and Courage,
Cal🕊️🌹
However thank you
What do i do if i fear of being dissapointed on the line and then i do get dissapointed on it :/ becus i prefer call its faster n u can speak with someone so thats awsome however sometimes the line keeps not giving me the rught support espc if i am in crisis and i usually try a couple times until i just go for text. Are there limited times to how much u can recall? Cus i once did try n call after a couple times and the person said there were only 10 mins to speak and she did acknowledge that what i experienced was a crisis a emotional one but then idek . 𤨠are there rules, do the operators make their own rules whats goin on i wish theyd specify?
@berrycheesecake90 I hope you find your answers here 🍀🤍
*Biggggg hugs* 🐾💖
Ty 💖🍀💛
@berrycheesecake90 ❤️❤️
@berrycheesecake90
Hi, to me it’s weird and awful that they cut you off after ten minutes. There are not rules, but they have “guidelines,” kind of like here on cups, there are guidelines for listeners, there, there are guidelines for the counselors. You’re supposed to reach out any time you’re in crisis so you did the right thing.
You said you didn’t have any luck with any of the warm lines and I wonder if there was a possibility of me researching some other possibilities for you, or whether maybe you’ve looked into it yourself. There are many online and also zoom groups that meet for various reasons, some have a more healing focus, others are just for peer to peer chat. (I’ve already done some research myself because it’s such an area of interest for me.) I really like 7 cups because I’m more of a text-based person, and there are some other things I love about cups like the sharing circles and now the forums are growing on me, and that’s why I stay here, but when you’re in crisis you might need more.
Here’s to love and courage and to you finding what you need.