Am I evil??
Hi, for context, my parents and I live in a hotel. My mother is the only one working, and my dad occasionally leaves in the morning to work on either cars or moving jobs. He arrives home by 3-4.
Last night at 4, my parents were talking to each other, and they were a little loud. I kindly said, "Guys, I need sleep," because I didn't know how else I could ask, and then my father just shouted at me out of nowhere, calling me a *** and thinking that I was basically asking him to shut up, but I wasn't. That was never my intention. Ever. I should've recorded it, but he was mad at me and used all of this profanity.
I can't ask him anything without crying afterwards or be listened to just because they're an adult and I'm the main one not listening to THEM. While I know that, your words are hurting me and have been for years. I don't understand what I've ever done to you.
When just trying to have a conversation, I try my absolute hardest to speak to them in a calm and non-threatening way, but I'm still met with this sudden aggression and insults as if I'm merely a guest and not their loving daughter.
I don't understand. Am I really evil? Or am I so overly sensitive?? Please, any advice will work. I hardly have any friends, and talking on here is my only hope. Make me understand. I'm literally back to tearing up as of typing this.
If you seen something similar on reddit, it's a good chance that it was me. Sorry.
@MuchSaferUsername I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. Please know that your feelings are valid and they truly matter. You're not evil. Wanting peace , respect or understanding in your own home doesn't make you a bad person.
Your needs matter too. I know it feels hurt to be shut down when you're trying to communicate kindly 🙁 but it's not your fault. You matter 🤍 and deserve to feel safe expressing yourself without being called names or made to feel guilty. You're not wrong for needing respect and care ❤️ Sending lots of love to you ❤️❤️
Thank you so much!! I'm genuinely feeling a little better now. I like it here
You shouldn't be the one who's sorry. I believe that no child should ever grow up to abuse.
When I was younger, my mom and dad used to fight all the time. With mental illness with less branches at that time, no one knew that my mom was bipolar and schizophrenic.
My childhood was sometimes a living nightmare. I was put in care homes from time to time.
I do feel for you. I know what your going through is traumatic, but you gotta hang in there. Connect to one of the listeners in here, let them hear you out. See how you feel and take it from there.
Just a suggestion though. But hold on tight. We are there for you my friend♥️
Welcome to cups
Hi, I really appreciate it! I feel a little calmer now, though his words are still scarring me. I'll go and try reaching out to one right now, thank you so much!
No, you are not evil. No, you are not overly sensitive, although I think that sensitivity is an asset it shows you care deeply.
You sound like a sweet, loving person with a soft voice, a kind smile and a mind that put everyone else’s needs above your own and when you finally need to set down boundaries or express your needs, you’re suddenly in the wrong?
Your father, he feels small, he can’t bear the thought of being a failure as a father or as a husband and his rage and anger are misplaced. He has no right to direct those emotions towards you. No father should ever emotionally, physically, or psychologically harm his daughter.
You’ve come to a good place to and I would love to see you posting whatever comes to mind and having all these beautiful, sensitive people of 7Cups be your support system.
Exactly! I appreciate it so much. You are all such wonderful people, it makes me want to cry again.
@MuchSaferUsername my dad was a bit insensitive, so growing up I didn’t really have anyone to open up to. Sounds like maybe ur dad is like that too? Sorry about that. Don’t feel bad for sharing your feelings it’s ok. Your dad is probably going through his own stuff yknow? Try to think about it that way. I hope this comment was at least somewhat helpful.
Probably. When my dad yelled at me again (months, or years ago, I can't remember), my mother mentioned how he's basically still struggling to be a father and he wasn't around his other children too often. One of them, which I probably should've mentioned before in my post, died and he's still grieving.
Your comment was not only helpful, but made me think. He's getting older now, and I need to just be careful. Thank you so much!!
my only advise might be a little hard to take but you should try. I don't believe their actions are personal, could it be there are things going on in their lives that is stressing them out? Maybe they feel they are not good enough as parents and have let you down and so this us why they get defensive. Focus on you and try just leave them in their space after all you wont always have them. It sounds like they are just under some kind of stress. I can imagine its hard but concentrate on yourself, maybe try find a hobby you can bury yourself in. Other than that watch my videos on youtube @aisforaddict. Leave comments there if you need conversation. Stay String and stay Focused!
Look u are not bad okay?? I don't know how old u are bit ur parents are at fault...sometimes In this world, being kind ain't just enough...there's just nothing we can do about it...if u want to talk, u can always text me ..okay?? I wish to be a psychologist..let's all make this world better
@MuchSaferUsername Parants can be angry. They can be emotional and tired , they can forget to take care of you and this terrible if you think about the fact that we need more care. Be sure to talk about your feelings.