Feeling a bit behind in life (somewhat a long winded rant but just want to share my thoughts
my batch at my second uni just graduated last year. I went to college 2 different times already and failed. It was always a matter of pushing through, despite doing well the first years. I am feeling a bit behind even more now that so many people I once knew are moving onto the next chapters of their lives, travel, work, some even getting married and having kids (not that I want them), but it’s just sometimes get to me. I don’t use social media often, and have very few close friends (mostly just people I live with and around like family in the neighborhood). I don’t have very high wants either, like being particular about status or money, clothes or where I live that type of stuff (it helps I got off most of social media a long time ago - *** and *** influencer culture is huge driver of consumerism, so I am usually realistic and can curb all my wants). Overall I’m actually quite happy and live comfortably, and I focus on my real hobbies like reading or now recently, taking an interest in gardening (a result of a deep dive in sustainability and taking care of my health - diet choices). I actually made quite a progress on my mental and physical health ever since moving back home to the slow living in the countryside. I am in a much better now and I learned so much from books and documentaries about literally anything that interest me, and I try new things I never did before like paint or sing or cook or ride a bike. However it’s just little moments when I decide to log on for 15 minutes on *** and I see some of my previous acquaintances share life updates that I get curious about their life, and wonder a little bit about mine if I made the right choices. I am obviously a bit drawn to the alternative life, I am a bit weird in that I never really thought the same way as other people since I was a child, and despite showing some academic capability I struggled most with my mental health and family relationships that I quit school a few times now.
now i am planning my next steps. I am doing better on all fronts except on one area - income/ work. I am currently unproductive but I will change that before this year ends. I should be currently looking for work, maybe online or my local area.
thanks for reading, if any one of you got to the end. Tell me what you think, i appreciate it. 🍀
I've been through stuff like these too..
I know it hurts when you think of what you could've done or what you could've achieved if you were a bit more psychologically or mentally stable, I know for sure you're smarter than a lot of those friends who did something society consider success. But unfortunately some people like you who are born with unfair circumstances, are born to SURVIVE. you're actually strong.. for taking care of yourself, staying hopeful & for trying to develop still.
keep doing what makes you happy 💜💫
@SingingDandelions288
No one but you are keeping score...... social media or even basic " catch up " type conversation fuels these feelings in so many......i should have x.y.z because some former classmate or friend has it etc......look how great this or that is..... we do not see or hear the dirty secrets or failures .... ONLY the good stuff.
i have personally seen the dark side of social media and while some people insist on seeing it themselves ........ my "perfect" friend world was a house of cards and it all fell away and she disappeared ......... why? ..... many would have supported her through the bad times but she could not face some unrealistic standard was not being met....... another who blasted kids accomplishments but now the reality the expectations left her family as a big hot mess ....... one person who has quit basic hygiene and never leaves a basement.
Life has ups and downs and all on different paths enjoy the journey ... celebrate the good bad and ugly .......... remember the grass is always greener over the sewer so not always glamorous ...... if you are doing the best with what you have and not trying to be something fake you ahead not behind.