Feeling so let down
My life feels horrible. I feel hopeless. I have no one to rely on and my past keeps weighing me. It's so hard. Instead of hope, I've begun rising again only out of fear and obligation to stay alive. There are some days that things feel better, but then followed again by a few days where I'm hopelessly broken and hit rock bottom. At first I had hope, but now I've stopped feeling that, even on the "better days". I heard about healing being not linear, that everything came in waves, so at first I'd hoped. After so much of healing and enduring past parental trauma that resulted in depression, a romantic trauma bond and heartbreak and unreliable friends I'm just done. I'm so done. I'm exhausted and it hurts so bad.. temporary happiness doesn't give hope at all. It's hard to feel these are just "waves" when they're getting more and more intense and Neverending. I'm done with hearing that my suffering will amount to something great in life. It just..really sucks. Now I'm angry, at my emotions, at the world, at my "loved ones". I cannot name the number of times I nearly committed suicide. Now I'm really done with being obliged to stay alive just to bear all this. And no, I don't hate myself. I hv been working towards loving myself and my body, but I do hate life. One of the reasons I didn't go ahead with my attempts was because I really couldn't bring myself to hurt myself. Everything seems futile and meaningless. And I know things shudnt supposedly not matter if u really love yourself, but I'm human and do need someone else to lean on. Like, someone to really get me. And I've tried it all. Keeping my distance from toxic ppl, having an abundant mindset, trying to stay healthy, having hard conversations, (which seemed life changing in the moment, but they just don't change and it's pretty much pointless). Expressing my feelings in hethy manners too. My mood swings are really extreme. Honestly I don't hv hope and don't know if I even wanna feel hope ever again.
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@reservedVase8999 I'm sorry you're feeling this way, I want you to know, You're not alone ❤️ and your feelings are totally valid. You deserve to be treated with love and kindness and I'm glad you've reached out 🤍
Feeling hopeless isn't wrong, and you're not weak for feeling this way, you've been through so much. But you're still trying. You said you don't hate yourself, and have been working towards loving yourself.
That's something really powerful 🤍 and you're completely right— You absolutely deserve someone to lean on, and need someone who truly listens and understands you.
You're trying, and that matters. You matter and deserve all the love and support 🤍 You're not alone in this, and we're here with you!
I'm not a listner, but I'm here to support you and you can share your emotions and whatever it's you're going through whenever you need to 🤍 I truly wish you find the support you're looking for 🍀❤️
You're Awesome <3
Sending lots of love towards you! 🕊️
Thank you so much for your reply. Of course the pain hasn't vanished, but I feel much more supported. Thank you for hearing me out and validating my feelings. I'm glad I reached out.
You're really awesome and kind too❤️
Sending you lots of care and love.
@reservedVase8999
My love you are not left out..you just need time to heal,I know that healing takes a lot of time but you need to work on yourself. There are time when I feel like I can't do life anymore but you know what I didn't back out. I realized I'm the boss in my life and everything that's going on in my life I'm the cause.
What did I do ..I stop all negative thoughts and embrace all positive things. I started my healing journey by buying and reading a lot of things. I started working out on myself and BOOM after 3 months of taking that healing journey ✨️ I realized a lot of changes. I believe you can do this.
I'm proud of you darling 💛 for everything you have being going through.
Start your healing journey today with Angelmavvy https://selar.com/b0t193
Wow thank you for your positive words. I'm glad to hear things worked out for you and I'm glad you never gave up. Thank you for your reply and kindness.
Sending you lots of love and care❤️
@reservedVase8999 ive always believed self love is never an independent journey. Sure we are born with love in us - but identifying it and building it happens through connection. Coexistence is there for a reason, id think.
Im glad you reached out to others to share your feelings..
You sound so strong to me 💛
Sometimes chasing something too hard drives it away... sit with your emotions and let hope walk to you itself.. ✨️
Thank you. I really liked your words. They are very wise and helpful. In this moment I really get the coexistence and connection part. Your words gave me strength and hope in the softest way. And yes, I'm done chasing healing too. I will decide to sit with my emotions and believe just how strong I am💛.
Sending you love and care ❤️