I Feel Like a Fool

i tried to write something a few times but i don't seem to have all the right words, and then 7cups was giving me a weird error for some reason. i just hope you know that we here at cups love you for you here, and that you need and deserve to take care of yourself too 💛 i'm sending you big bear hugs your way, if okay 💛 

Your kindness is inspiring to say the least. I'm not sure what happened, but... I just want you to know that it doesn't go nowhere... And whatever you need to do for yourself, I'm here to support you. ❤️

@jesusredeemedme2425

*Comforts you* I am sorry that whomever you have been interacting with has led you to feel this way. It is a horribly gutting emotion to feel one has been used or has had their good nature taken advantage of. It is understandable that it makes one feel naïve...but perhaps therein lies a small error:

Naivety can feel like a failing. I beg to differ. It is a wonderful quality...it shows a heartfelt belief in others. A propensity to see good all around and to commit completely to accepting that others embody these qualities. Someone can say they believe in the goodness of others, and even intellectually subscribe to the idea...but to truly and instinctively gravitate to that position...that is pure empathy and kindness. Naïve doesn't think, it just believes without question.  That to me sounds like a beautiful way to be. 

Reciprocation is fluid, and it is not always even. That you have given so much of yourself again is no flaw, but rather a generosity of heart. That you have not treated your relationships as transactional is again something you should be applauded for. It is very sad that someone/something has potentially taken advantage of this...but that is their failing, not yours. One hopes that even if they do not appreciate it now, your influence and good example will one day give them insight and assist their change to something more considerate.  So far from my (admittedly simple) tally, I see the score as Kiara 2 / Other 0

Boundaries can be helpful, they can create security and confidence. Nothing wrong with setting them as and when you feel they are necessary. But likewise, it is no crime to have not realised they may have been needed. Hindsight is as helpful as a sign telling us Water is Wet. None of us possess a special faculty bestowing perfect clarity on what is going to happen, nor gives us an open window into the motivations and future actions of others. So it seems it would be rather unfair to expect that anyone could anticipate everything. Instead I think we should commend them for how they navigate the river, especially when it suddenly becomes a wild rapid unexpectedly, or hidden rocks buffet their canoe from below. And we should cheer them with even greater vigour when they not only do so, but at the same time are making sure that every body else's boat is not running into trouble, and reaches out a helping hand to steady those that float near to them.  K 3 / 0 Nil.

There is no shame in needing to look out for oneself when things get too much. And equally, there is no flaw in choosing to put others ahead ones own interests. Neither are mistakes as far as I can see (but remember to take my observations with a grain of salt, as my helmet visor can narrow my field of vision sometimes). I think @Tinywhisper11 expressed it most perfectly when she said "don't ever change who you are because your the best".  If you need to fall back into the dogpile for a while to recoup your energy, I am sure the puppy-party is ready to pile on to soothe and comfort. And when you decided to stride forth, we are all cheering you on. Go team Kiara.

(Apologies for the overly long message)

@jesusredeemedme2425

I may not be the best person to be giving advice.  If you read any of my stuff, you can tell I'm struggling with stuff too.

I think the thing you got to remember about people is, they are selfish.  You try to be the person that Jesus wants you to be, and there is a good chance that you will face that sort of thing.  With that being said, you can try to learn from your social experiences, and try to keep things in balance.  It's not wrong to tell someone no, if it stretches you too far to do it for them.  They need to respect that.  As a guy who worked as a Janitor for a school, I really know what it feels like to be taken advantage of, and you are right that doesn't feel good.  Remember you are a good person, trying to do what is right.  I think you need to make some small adjustments but keep trying to do what is right.  That is all any of us can do!  Live and learn.

@jesusredeemedme2425 im sorry you feel this way , no one deserves to go through so much pain just because they chose to love , but you have to pull yourself up and focus on being better focus on you and I promise you'll be happy again .

@jesusredeemedme2425 Boundaries are hard. I'm sorry you've been mistreated, used and taken advantage of. Unfortunately it's probably something all of us here can relate to. Sometimes we try to only see the good in people and that can make us blind to the red flags. Or we have too much doubt in ourselves that we question if what we're seeing in the other person is true or not. We make excuses for things and think maybe it's just us taking things the wrong way or that we look at things differently. 

I've come to the conclusion that life is all about learning as you go. We stumble, we fall and pick ourselves up again. Some lessons we learn the hard way and it hurts but we do learn. 

You have a kind and giving nature. You seem to genuinely care about people and there are some who see these wonderful qualities and will try to use them to their advantage.

Remember it's ok to say no. If you never say no, how much is your yes worth?

@jesusredeemedme2425 sadly we live in a world where people mistake kindness for weakness and take it for granted. You can see how you put yourself last now, boundaries are massively important, but don't throw away who you are, you have a big heart, you see the best in people, you care, you laugh, you have so many wonderful qualities thst make you unapologetically you. Never change. Just prioritise you and don't give energy unless you are getting the same back 🥰

@jesusredeemedme2425

I truly don't know what to say other than possible what Jesus said.

Matthew 5:8-12 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.


I love you and am praying for you Kiara, you are blessed 🩵🩵🩵

@jesusredeemedme2425

Breakthroughs follow breakdown! you will be all amazing and mentally health soon! 

Trust me even if it seems harder and unbearable, this is the time to prove yourself who you are! Your personality is calling you for unwrapping your hidden version which you thought did not exist but it's just there! Your username itself says it all! You got this dear!💖And chose faith over your fears! Life is just giving you a test paper and sometimes we don't have enough information to solve it but no worries right? We can learn! Nothing ends here! 

And I got you something that you must remember in life, "There are times when you have to chose between you and the other people! And saying no to them is saying a yes to yourself!" That does not mean you give up on being kind but you learn to hear yourself! I read your name in the posts! So Kiara, Kiara is calling you only so that she can be heard! Listen to your heart and just hold on through life! You will see your light sooner! We are there for you!💖

I’m so sorry you feel that way. No one should feel that way