I Hate Being Pretty…

Well said I was like this as a petite young thin woman. You’re not alone in feeling like this.

@jesusredeemedme2425

Girl at some point in time, us ladies and the girls need to link up and protect each other and ourselfs against perverts like these types of men. I know your pain, I sympathize for you situation, wheres the issue no one knows what the other is going through till they open up. Like don't judge the book by the cover, how hard is that? I hope you are keeping yourself safe and you are able to protect yourself against these sickos in this world, sending a hug, keep being a true queen!  

@jesusredeemedme2425

At first it may look non very relatable, but...

Through all my childhood, adolescence and some part of my adult life I had been abused, exploited and mistreated by a woman. I am not going to go into details because that is not the point here... Enough to say quite recently I talked to some (female) family members and they fully agreed that person had always been some kind of emotional parasite or "vampire".

When I had become an adult I started to wonder why women do not want to love me, but they want to tell me all those stories about their abusive, alcoholic husbands—they still love and they can't get them out of their heads. Why they want to dominate me, control me, abuse me, gaslight me, exploit me, tell me lies—instead of just being there for me.

Why did they do that? How did they know that? Had I something like "I was abused by a woman and cannot wait to experience more" written on my forehead? Or: do I deserve to be mistreated and exploited just because I'm "such a nice guy"?...

And then I learnt there is even a science called victimology. The science that defines the connection between someone being a predator and some other person being a victim. The science which tries to explain why some people on the street in the middle of the night stand a big risk of being attacked while other may easily get away with that.

That was the moment when I found the cure is getting rid of the label of "prey"—through my therapy, awareness, personal growth and positive new experiences.

Statistically (and looking at my agency), I should be one of these "lecherous old men" you mentioned before.

But I am not. Truly, if you would be pretty, slim and confident I would instantly turn into "run away mode" (and look for someone modest, plump and with a big warm smile on her face).

I think of catcalling as disgusting. In my country it is very rare and met only among uneducated people with a complete lack of manners—or among friends, when it's done in a very mild way and double-checked it is gonna be taken as a compliment, not as a threat or offence.

When I see men looking at women as mindless, heartless "prey" my body starts to growl (remember, I was a witness of assault as a toddler). And it happened to me to be seen as a "prey" or almost sexually molested by a woman—and it wasn't nice.

But... Let's make the difference between the normal world around 😊 and the dark undertow that doesn't have to happen?...

@jesusredeemedme2425 I understand how this must be hard for you. Do you always feel this way, or does it come up more at certain times?

Yes, I agree with you, just because you are pretty doesn't mean that a man should start to catcall or comment your looks outloud with his friends.

@jesusredeemedme2425

I hear your frustration, and I can understand why you'd feel that way. You said it perfectly: kindness is not an invitation. It’s incredibly exhausting when people misread your energy and project their expectations onto you.

It’s great that you’re becoming more aware of this pattern and starting to set clear boundaries. That’s not easy, especially when you’re used to being kind and open by nature.

You’re not alone in this. Many people go through similar experiences, and it helps to talk about it. You’re handling a tough situation with strength and awareness, and it stands out.

I wish I didn’t have to be ashamed of who I am.