I don't know what to do anymore
I feel like I'm just repeating every day over and over. And I used to be so excited when Christmas would come and stuff and now I'm just... nothing. And I don't know what to do because I'm too scared to actually tell somebody that I have really dark thoughts every single day. My parents joke about how weak and stupid everybody is that has mental health issues. So I feel like I can't talk to them. And even if I did, I think I would feel so guilty for giving them more problems to deal with. So I think I should wait. But I can't. Because every day for the last few years, it's just been getting worse and worse. And I am so done with it all. With all the pressure. With making the wrong choices over and over again. So I don't know how to keep going. Sorry for rambling. And sorry if I broke the guidelines or smth.
@sunnywaters6321
waiting does not work if a person has a physical illness or issues but far too many seem to think mental things can wait. if your parents have said something in the past, I can tell you many people talk like that about things they do not understand.
IMO too many people cannot see how things happen until it happens to them personally. people do not seem to learn from other examples and sometimes have the attitude it will not happen to us.
They may have heard or seen friends who have a child who has a problem but think it will never happen in their world. I think you may be surprised how your parents react if they knew you were struggling. Most step up to find a loved one help.
@sunnywaters6321
I’m really sorry that you’ve been carrying these painful feelings for so many years. What you described — feeling numb, losing excitement for things you once loved, feeling stuck in the same exhausting cycle — is something many people quietly struggle with, and it can feel incredibly heavy.
It makes sense that you don’t feel safe opening up to your parents, especially if they tend to dismiss mental health issues. That doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real. It only means they may not understand how much you’re going through or how much strength it takes to live with these feelings every day.
You said you’re scared to tell someone about the dark thoughts you’re having, but you also know you can’t keep holding all of this by yourself. And you’re right — talking to someone safe can help more than you might expect. You deserve a place where you can talk honestly without being judged, blamed, or made to feel guilty. That could be a counselor at school, a trusted adult, a helpline, or even a trained listener online. It doesn’t have to be your parents if they’re not safe to talk to about this.
Sharing your feelings doesn’t “give people more problems.” It gives you a chance to breathe, to get support, and to feel less alone inside your own mind. You deserve that.
You haven’t broken any guidelines. And you’re not rambling — you’re hurting, and you reached out because you want to keep going even though it feels impossible. That takes courage.
I really hope you find someone safe to talk to and that you begin to feel even the smallest moments of relief. You deserve support and gentleness. You don’t have to face this alone.
@Eternalbliss00
Thanks, that helped a lot. I just feel like I owe it to them to tell them since they're my parents and if they find out on their own, they'll ask why I didn't tell them. And I don't want to hurt their feelings especially since my mom always says I have no empathy. I've told people online, but I feel like if I talk to a counselor at my school or another adult, they'll tell my parents. Especially since I have been hurting myself. So I think they have to.