I hate myself:(

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9

I'm off to bed, hopefully I'll sleep. Good night, just wanted you to know you do matter, been thinking off you..

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9I am a listener if you ever need anyone

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9

Your not alone. Trust me. I feel- well- im in the same boat, and I know how goddam hard it is to scoop all that water out and stay afloat. I sometimes wish people didn't like or care about me so that I could drown without any guilt. But the people I know, just being them have unknowingly shoved out some of that water so that I keep on going. I can drown in my thoughts and worries and so can you, but even when its tough, and even if you cant see it always, there's someone reaching out for you, pulling you up, holding your hand. I just had another heartbreak today, I thought I could trust again. But I guess I was wrong to trust in romance. I dont know about your story, but still trust me on this, even when your surrounded, stuck in the abyss, whether it be mistakes that youve made, like the ones i made last night at my schools dance, or the troubles you face on the road to life's end. There's always a light, youve just gotta look, even when the feelings of sadness take over. Don't worry. Just ride the river.

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9

The darkness hasn't won.

Things feel bleak.

You feel as of things will never change.

And you have a million emotions running through your head.

All vying for attention..

You don't know where to put them.

They come so fast, you don't know if it's possible to process them.

You paint on a smile and you look to the outside world, like you are doing fine.

You get better at it.

Convincing.

You don't have a supportive environment.

Being invisible is something you wear well.

You cannot look at yourself because you are surrounded by a million reasons of why you don't deserve to live.

But these are not your words.

They are not your reality.

You've spent so long battling the currents, you're afraid the thread will finally snap.

People cannot understand the depths of despair youve gone through and you've come back from.

You are not disgusting.

Or ugly.

Or worthless.

Or unworthy.

Or dramatic.

How do I know?

Because you interact here with people in a way that cannot be faked.

You wear your heart on your sleeve.

You are kind, and compassionate and you don't give robotic answers.

You cannot see the special place youve woven in so many of our hearts, because you haven't be allowed to believe how wonderful you are.

These words are not your reality.

But there's hope once there's life.

There's hope once you stop tearing yourself down.

And there's hope when you ask for help.

No person in the entire world dictates your worth.

No matter how dark the world becomes, light shines through, even a chink.

Every breath you take is a wonderful joy and blessing.

And I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart that any person has ever made you think so badly of yourself, because it's not true and I'll tell you that everyday if you need to hear it.

And you should know, I'm wise, so if I say it, it surely has to be true 😁🩷💜💚🩵🧡💙💛💖

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I hope you know that you're not alone. I too feel this way sometimes, although I may not know every detail of how you're feeling right now but, just know that we're all here for you.

I've seen your comments on various posts and you are such a sweet person. I'm sorry that you're going through this. You will get through this stronger and you are allowed to feel these emotions for as long as you need to.

Sending virtual hugs 💖💖💖💖💖

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9

Please don't think like that .. 🙏

I request you ailura ..

You see no light ahead .. ? You're the light, ailura ❤️

Look at us, so many of us are smiling just to see your presence here. Your each word, each action, what not, it makes us alive. You mean a lot to us all ❤️

Please don't hate yourself. We are all bound by fate, we can plan a 100 things ahead, and still we will be in the clutches of fate ..

For the things that are happening today, please don't be hard on yourself for everything else.

You're not disgusting, to be honest, you're the contrary of disgusting. Whatever is making you feel like this, please remember, that neither you, nor any of the other things, were intentionally planned this way, to make you feel like this now. Please try to understand that 🙏

You regret your existence ? Are you for real ? Look at how many fo your buddies have come running , to be with you, to make you feel better ..

You have no idea how much you mean to your friends here .. how much they care for you ..

And mainly, how much you matter to them ..

Go check your birthday threads if you think I am making it out ...

Your existence is special just as you are.

Please stop regretting ...

I understand how heavy you might be feeling, I really do, I'm not saying just for words same. No matter how heavy it feels now, it has to. & Will definitely, go one day.

You have all of us here, ailura. Were here to hold your hands no matter what, until it ends.

Please don't let the heaviness win, you're much stronger n resilient ri8, you say it a lot.

Time to prove it, girl !

You are not disoriented.

You are not a mistake. Even if you think you are, then I would say that you would be the most beautiful mistake that has ever happened in this world ✨. Look at how many of your friends here are really smiling because of your presence and the way you shed your love on them .. it's priceless to all of us.

You're priceless to all of us, ailura. You'll never realised this. Because, only our souls know how much we love your presence ,.

Be it kiara, curious, sweetsoul , Amanda or others...

We always cherish you, ailura. Every bit ...

You ain't a sinner. Just like me n many others here, who are victims of fate , and bad life, you're the same. It doesn't make you a sinner. Not at all. Not by any margin ! ! !

You're not shameful . You're amazing 😭

You're dramatic, and that is one of the most beautiful parts of you.

If anyone could be a winner for being dramatic, you would clearly be in the top list. It makes you even more lively 💫

You're not alone to say regarding running away from everything.

You think we others don't want to ? From the stuff life is throwing st us .. if there was a running competition we all of us would leave you in the dust.

Regardless of all this, we have to cling to ourself. Because life will not stop chasing you just because you are trying to run away ..

You are your best support, ailura. You're your best strength. Always remember.

You are not a disgrace, neither are disgraded. You are a very rare and beautiful person in and out, that will ever exist on this world ..

You are nothing like disgrace, trust me. I'm not lying ... Are trying to come for you. I am giving you the truth

If there is anything that you deserve, it's all the love and care in the world. Nothing else, you are that one person, whom even the devil would not wish to touch. You're pure as the mo<htauns, amazing as the seas. No words can match how amazing you are ..

And these are the things where you belong. Not anywhere else, especially the darkness ! You get me ?

No matter what thoughts keep crawling up in your mind, always remember that you are not alone. You have us, ailura ... Please remember that.

We will never give up on anything that confronts you. We are with you here in any way we can. Please don't think that you are losing anything. Nope.

Since you said youre dramatic, if I can give a dramatic answer for your point of living, then perhaps I would say that, if there is anyone that has to live, with or without any point of living, IT'S YOU, AILURA. You don't know the amount of love you give to US and how much we are always wanted to be with you, hear from you, laugh with you, and everything else that words can & can't say ..

No love, faith ? Seriously, ? You're in such feelings because of the situation you are in right now. You are the one that is full of love,

You are the one that keeps giving us the faith to continue living regardless no matter what happens and keeps happening ..

So please don't say those kind of words.

All your prayers will be heard, ailura. You health issues that are troubling you rn, will be a thing of the past soon .. I believe it strongly. Because if there is anyone that needs such a turn in life, it's you ❤️

You have nothing to think like that aikur. It's your present situation that making you feel that way.

Please don't go to those thoughts . Stay anchored . You know, and we know .. how awesome a person you are ..

Isn't it ...

YOURE NOT ISOLATED .. YOURE NOT ALONE ...

whatever is making you feel like that, it's not true ..

Stay strong , ailura ...

You have us all, here.

Please let us accompany you in this hardships .. the storm will be gone soon ..

You don't have to fool yourself. It's alright. We will stand by you to face things , as long as it takes

Ailura, YOURE NOT GUILTY OF ANYTHING, just by blaming yourself for everything, doesn't make things fall into place ..

Please ailura .. stop being so hard on yourself... Please , don't be like this ..

You're a beautiful soul. If there's anything to be afraid of, it's us, about loosing you.

No, don't hate yourself. Please don't. See, ni matter how much you hate yourself, or be scared of future, life will still continue . So please stay strong ..

No ailura, you aren't weak .. think once ..

You had such problems with health, yet you're standing strong.

You say all these things triubkt you, yet you bring smiles on so many faces here ...

You're not st all weak. You're the strongest person I ever saw. Both mentally n physically !

You aren't seeing it cuz you're in darkness, that's all ..

Thanks for letting us be with you

We all are much more grateful to you, than you are to us. ..

It's not just you, ailura, when we are in darkness , all of us go through same, but thinking like this do|snt better it in anyway ..

Lots of love, warmth n care your way ❤️

Very tight hugs overloaded to you .. ✨

I have been where you are many times. It really sucks. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You sound like you may be struggling spiritually (?) as well as emotionally. Take heart - there IS a God and He knows you by name. Jesus said, “Come to Me all who are tired and carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest.” He also said that He would NOT turn away anyone who comes to Him. This includes you! He’s just waiting for you to come to Him just as you are - shattered and hurting. I’m praying for you!! 🙂

Love you so does God

Been there. Felt those things. Those feelings do pass and over time, they lose their intensity. Remember, you are loved, you are not alone, and you have a precious, rare quality called “honesty.” You will triumph over these thoughts. And when you do, you will encourage others.