I'm so so sorry...
Hey...
As some of you may or may not know, I haven't been doing so great. I've been really struggling lately and it's been so so hard to keep going. Everyday is hard and I'm fighting just to get through each day.
I don't even really know what's wrong me. Like half the time I can feel something is off but I don't know what it is. The other half of me is struggling with flashbacks and trauma stuff. Things at home haven't been great and it's only getting worse. There also seems to be about a million other things bothering me as well.
I've kept how I feel buried and I've hid under this mask for so long that things are starting to get out of hand. I don't talk much anymore both here on cups and irl. I've dodged questions like "how are you" or just anything related to how I am because I genuinely don't know how to answer. And if I do answer I'll say that I'm fine or that it doesn't matter. I've lied about how I am for long it feels like an automated answer at this point.
And as much as it pains me to say this, cups has been apart of problems as well. I won't say why though only because this post is already long enough.🙃 However I will say that none of my problems with cups is anyone's fault. It is due to others reasons and not because anyone did anything to me.
I will also say that I feel like the tone in my messages has significantly changed. I feel like I've become more distant and I'm getting upset easily. If I have hurt anyone with what I've said I'm really sorry, that's not something I ever intended on doing and I never meant to hurt anyone. I care so much about everyone here and I would never want to say anything to upset someone. So if I did I'm so so sorry.
Okay, now that I'm done rambling you must be wondering why I'm saying all this. That's because I've decided to leave cups. I promise I'm not leaving for forever I just need to take a step back and try to calm down and work things out a bit. I don't know how long I'll be gone for it could be a week, a few months I don't know. This has been a really hard decision for me to come to but, I think it's for the best. It's also somewhat due to the fact that schools putting a lot of pressure on me right now and I need to focus on that too 😛
Please please please take of yourselves while I'm gone. You all have done so much for me and to that I will be forever grateful. You guys mean the world to me and words will never be able to describe how much I care. Your enough just the way you are and you matter more than you know, don't ever forget that. Don't change for anyone. (I'm totally not crying while writing this)
I'll be deactivating my account in a few days just decided to write this a little earlier.
This isn't goodbye, it's just a see you later. (:
Take care of yourselves.
-Izzy ❤️
Tagging some people who might care:
@CommunityModChristine @Tsuk @Orange64 @yourlocalIKEA @Creamyyy @Orange64 @jesusredeemede2425 @Questionnairman @CommunitymodFinn @CommunitymodAaron @Eman144 @selanaluna77
(I'm so sorry if I forgot anyone, didn't know this was gonna be this hard 🫠 feel free to tag anyone I missed or who might be interested
Im so glad you reached out to others and tagged me as well. Engagement is an act of faith.
Your decision to take time off - however it may be - deserves all the respect. Your intuition is there to guide you. You alone decide the best way to fill your cup.
I myself have often thought of taking breaks from people I'm in touch with - that's why I never make promises or commitments of time to anyone because I know I can't take that responsibility when I'm not sure how I am going to manuever my life ahead - However what I do offer people is complete assurance of my honesty of connection. If I say I care for you, there is not an iota of mistruth in it. And maybe if I'm not around later, my words will still be there with others.
I view peoples input into my lives the same way. There are so many kind souls Ive met on this forum whose words keep popping up in my mind in odd moments, even when I'm no longer in touch with them.
Thats the beauty of life I suppose. We are all connected through our hearts not through our physical presence necessarily.
Please remember anytime you feel like coming back, this community will be welcoming you always.
I will be wishing for your darkness (trauma) to subside. You will figure out the mysteries of life and your being that trouble your heart at the moment, all in little tiny steps. I wish the joy of sunshine for you. Lots of love.
@IzzyGamer
@IzzyGamer hey, can we chat?
Fixing misspelled tag
@jesusredeemedme2425
I love you, Izzy <3
@IzzyGamer take care of yourself. Cheers to you, fellow cupser. go ahead and find better times now 🤍
@IzzyGamer
hugiss iz take as long as you want i'm sorry life's being shity love u so much and I can't wait to see you whenever you get back also u nerve hurt me so don't apologize I knew life was *** so (:
@IzzyGamer
take care of yourself too
@IzzyGamer Hey izazzy, I really appreciate you tagging me on here, thanks so much for remembering me 💗
I haven't been on cups much either, and I understand it can be sometimes overwhelming. Although it saddens me that you will be leaving cups, I hope u take a restful break for as long as it needs to be. I believe it is the right decision if it prioritises your mental health.
Thank you to you for sharing so many laughs, 'hello's or even silences sometimes in chatrooms, but you being there and present is what mattered to me the most.
I wish you the best on all the hardships you will face- just remember somewhere in the world theres an random person nicknamed ikea always cheering you on, so never give up 💕 I'll be waiting for you when you come back, so take your time and do the izzy thing like you always do.
Your favorite store,
IKEA
Hey Izzy I never talked to you on this platform but as a listener I do want to say don't be upset! We all have hard times where we could be intensely emotional and especially as listeners we understand that! 𥰠I know life can be difficult sometimes but you have a grateful heart which means more than you think. People will love you
@IzzyGamer
I'm sorry for seeing your post so late. Please take your time, and do what feels right for you. I always appreciate seeing you around, but I know that cupsing isn't always helpful. I hope you can be safe and take good care of yourself. I, and so many more, will be happy to see you back, whenever you feel it might be right again.
@IzzyGamer
Plzz izzzy always take care of ur self u have our back lots of love from eman🤧💞🍀🍀🍀🍀