I'm tired
im tired of pretending im ok even when im actually not. life has never been kind to me. i wish better things would happen to me too. right now, i dont know who i am or what i am or what im supposed to do in life. no one around me can understand me. i know, i hate myself for complaining all the time. but this is not what i chose. even though its my life, im like a puppet. im someone who never got to be themselves. im lost. im broken. i wish i could have good days too. but everything seems to get worse day by day. i long for a day when i can smile genuinely.
@enthusiasticHouse3272
I suffered in silence for years. I just started trying to find help when i found 7cups.
You are not alone in this.
Don't hate yourself for speaking out. That is, honestly, the first big step in announcing you want change.
Never stop talking about how you feel.
We will smile again!!!
@mentalstorms63376
thank you so much❤️
this means a lot more than u could actually know. i hope we all get to smile, truly
@enthusiasticHouse3272
i'm sorry you're dealing with these feelings. it's okay to not be okay. getting your feelings out somehow, even on an online forum, is good for you. you are worthy of healing. sending my love <3
@cinnamoncal
thank you so much for your kindness❤️
i'll write about my day here. idk if that's a good idea
today was awful. i had an exam today (not a huge one- a weekly test paper). and all i could do was stare at the paper because i didnt have anything to write. idk what to write. the paper had 3hrs duration. and it was really hard for me even to wait those 3hrs. so i came out of the hall after the first 2hrs. yes, others probably saw me and thought ''is she crazy?'' but i dont care about what they think. i don't owe them anything. hopefully, i guess, i managed to sneak my paper out without handing it over when no one noticed. because i dont want their results. i already know it's a big fat F. i didn't stay for the afternoon classes. i felt like throwing up. so i came home and slept for around 4 hours. i feel gloomy now. and final exams in 4 months is crazy because i see everyone else working hard, but i can't even get up from my bed.
my parents are disappointed. everyone's disappointed. and im not surprised- they expected more than this. but i can't. i don't even feel like trying anymore. i'm tired. getting up to brush my teeth feels impossible atm. i'm desperate. i don't have anything to look forward to. life sucks
@enthusiasticHouse3272
Aw Sweetie:(
My heart broken into pieces after reading this, knowing you going through so much rn 😞
First of all - A warm hug ur way 💓
That sounds like a really heavy day. Sitting there for hours with a blank mind, feeling stuck while time keeps moving :( that kind of pressure can drain everything out of you. n then walking out early, carrying that weight alone… yeah, no wonder you came home exhausted and just crashed. ur body and mind were overwhelmed 😔 "Hugs"
I’m really glad you said this out loud instead of holding it in. That's what matters more than anything ❤️ proud of u <3
n I also want you Listen carefully 🙏 this isn’t you "failing at life" fr. This is u hitting a wall bcuz you’re burnt out, mentally overloaded, n probably running on empty for a while now. When your brain reaches that point, it doesn’t cooperate, no matter how much you want it to. That’s not laziness. That’s shutdown. trust me when i say this... I'm going through the most of it when now. you're not alone in this sweetie ❤️ I'm here for u...
I hear the part where you said you don’t feel like trying anymore. That’s the dangerous kind of tired... not physical, but deep inside, i see u. The kind where even brushing your teeth feels like climbing a mountain. When it gets like this, you don’t fix it by forcing motivation. You start small. Tiny, almost ridiculous steps. baby crawl :)
Right now, don’t think about final exams, or expectations(ik how expections kill us from up inside, it's the most painfull things we can ever go though), or anyone’s disappointment(it's our life, we are not obliged to fill other's cups when we drowning oneself) That’s too big. Your only job for today is something simple:
Get up. Wash your face. Drink water. That’s it.
Not because it magically fixes everything but bcz it proves you can still move, even when it feels impossible.❤️ it .ay sound silly for now... but trust me. it works ❤️
nd abt ur parents or others being disappointed… I’ll be honest with you: people expect things, yes. But they don’t live inside your mind. They don’t feel this weight you’re carrying:( So their expectations don’t define ur capacity. You’re not a report card. You’re a person going through something real n I'm a real person here acknowledging u... i truly felt how intelligent u might be from ur replies.
You said you have nothing to look forward to… I don’t agree with that. Rn it feels like that, bcuz everything is foggy. But four months is actually a long runway. Not to become perfect. Just to slowly rebuild. One day, one hour, one page at a time. ❤️ you'll get there... fr ❤️
You don’t need to become strong overnight. You just need to not give up on yourself today. that what matters ❤️
I’m here. You’re not facing this alone. yk how much i love you, care for u, acknowledge u. you're worthy more than u think. i see u what u can't see in u. TBH I'm right where the path your walking rn dear... let's walk for eachother. together we got this. one day at a moment 💓
Sending lots of love n embrace ur way ❤️
Hug u closer to my heart 💗 Love you infinite 💗
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
Ailura thank you so much for being such a kind-hearted soul... your words really heal me. thank you so much for everything u wrote here, it truly means so much for me. thank you ailura. i don't have words to express my gratitude towards you. i'm just so thankful to have met you here. thank you for always being there for me and caring for me. i love you so much❤️ you have this way of understanding me and i wish ppl around me in real life would do the same. thanks again ailura. your words mean the world right now, for me. thank you🫂
an update about today- i woke up late, but i took a long shower. i'm sitting at my desk thinking about studying but idk. i feel numb.
hugs ailuraa🫂❤️
@enthusiasticHouse3272
Aww sweetie ❤️ *Tears of joy* I'm so glad that I made you feel seen/heard... that matters world for me ❤️ N just know that the way u feel is mutual 😊 I'm so glad to befriend with a precious person like you ❤️ I'm so glad to be there for u 🌸
You deserve kindness n Love... you're not what u think. i can assure that fr. you're more than capable ❤️ you're loved her... it's just Ppl's who made u feel worthless but the Ppl's are in loss who can't see the gem front of them ❤️
n One day at a time they'll get to see the real you... acknowledge ur feelings, you're worth i believe ❤️ I'm here for u ❤️
I'm so glad u moved... it's not ease for real, in ur place i might've been forever in my bed. but look at u... you're strong. you don't owe anything rn, just priorities ur feeling... take rest, start fresh ❤️ just study for 10mins... that's more than enough for now. You can also try Pomodoro Technic eventually ❤️ n "forest" app can also help u 😊. but i prefer you to make it slow n steady... just mins in start is far enough, even if u feel pointless. trust me... it'll going to work ❤️.
And sweetie 😊 it's completely fine that u can't put into the word's the way u ❤️...!! not all feelings can be explained... remember my earlier post 😉. I'll understand u even without words ❤️... n u don't have to pressurize to reply to this too 😊🌸 I'm here for u anyways... just one text away ❤️
Hugs u closer to my heart 🤗
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
thank you ailura...❤️🫂
i've also heard of the forest app. i might give it a try.
thank you so much for understanding me... and yes, i remember your post. not every emotion or feeling can be explained by words.
i really appreciate your kindness❤️✨
@enthusiasticHouse3272
I'm Glad 😊
https://www.7cups.com/forum/students/
It's a student support forum link... u can explore n join the community ❤️ n share what u going through... hopefully experienced people will reach out to u ❤️ just thought of sharing this with u... cus, it can keep u motivated. it's absolutely fine u already a part of this sub community 😁.
Hugs 🤗
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
ok thank youu🩵🩵
@enthusiasticHouse3272
A pleasure 😊
@enthusiasticHouse3272
I know the feeling. for me it feels like i am groping in the dark for something solid. But hang in there. Don't give up yet.
@Jewelmoon17
i hate that lost, groping feeling. but, i'm trying not to give up on myself
thank you so much for your reply, means a lot 🩵