I need an outside opinion
So im 14, I have a bf, hes a year younger, I mean i like him and all, but we physically don't talk, at school we js sit in complete silence, sometimes holding hands, i kinda lost feelings because it feels like im dating a rock, he only really texts me if I text him first so I stopped texting first js to see how long, he doesn't text me at all except for goodnight, he used to text me every few hours and send me sweet stuff, but he dont anymore....
I started liking someone else, he's my bsfs brother, he's 17, so there is a age gap, but he's so sweet, he actually texts me, at least once every 15 or 30 minutes, he sends me sweet TikToks, I know how it sounds, uselly people think because he's 17 ,that means there is lust, but there isnt, at all, I like him because he makes me laugh, and actually has my heart racing and he likes to spend time with me, not in person but he plays Roblox with me and stuff like that, and i think im in love, obviously my mom don't support but we made it clear if there was gonna be a relationship, it would be when im older,
I think to myself, your breaking up with your boyfriend and gonna wait for him, but when im with my bf i feel kinda safe, content, and everything is just the same, predictable,
But he dont actually know me, and my bsf brother brings out my talkative side, and im js more compatible with him I feel like,
My bsf is fine with it, but she said that she's kinda protective of her brother, and I get that, hes autistic, and much a sweetheart, and very caring and i love that,
But ive been depressed asf lately so the predictability of my bf is nice, but when im with my bsfs brother I feel happy, and it feels more like im dating him then my own bf sometimes.
I need an outside opinion
@selfdisciplinedChestnut9003
hey there💜 how are you doing?Â
Reading thru your post, i think i would be kinda stuck too
feeling not truly known and seen by your partner who should be the one person you feel most appreciated around, feeling no excitement and longing as if you’re just in a relationship in name and not in actual world
while it isnt giving you the love and joy, it isn’t actually hurting you either and can feel like a safety net to have something familiar and steady in your life
on the other hand you do constantly see how someone can give you all you are missing in your actual relationship and excitementÂ
I think a good way of thinking this thru is to see them as two separate issues and not as options and answers to a single question
The question isnt which one is better
its two questions:
1. Do i want having my current boyfriend’s familiarity and safety, or do i want to get out, find excitement and a chance to experience more?Â
If your bsf’s brother didnt exist, would you take losing your safety net in hopes of finding someone you are excited and feel loved with?
2. If your boyfriend didn’t exist in the picture, What would be your thought process about your bsf’s brother?
in that scenario is he someone you like but want to keep them as a friend either way? A crush? A boyfriend in the next few weeks’s time span? A boyfriend in a few years’ time span? If so, would you be open to meeting other people until then?  What are the good and bad things to consider in making that decision?
@selfdisciplinedChestnut9003 that sounds rough. Does your current bf love you? Does he appreciate you? Those are important considerations.
I mean i think so, there are times it seems like he does. Every holiday he does give gifts and stuff like that, but he doesn't say anything, and I feel like he pays attention because they are something I like, always, and I find it sweet, but at the same time it feels like im dating a rock, I sit with him at lunch at school, and he pays literally all his attention to his friends and it feels like im not there, I mean he'll hold my hand, but we literally don't say anything
There seem like no reason date someone you don’t even talk to but don’t think should be with other person either 14 and 17 inappropriate he almost is adult
I know its inappropriate relationship, like me and him said if we ever dated it would be when we are older, so even if I break up with my bf, I wouldn't date him because the age thing, but I just feel wrong liking him but dating someone else
Yea don’t think need be with either them it don’t even sound like you like your boyfriend so is pointless keep date him
As someone who was in that kind of situation when I was younger I can tell you that you definitely dont need to be dating a 17 year old. He's almost a legal adult and if he hasn't already made it known that that is an inappropriate age gap then someone should. If you don't feel like your current boyfriend loves you then talk to him but it sounds like this situation isn't necessarily hurting you but it obviously isn't making you feel good either. You're young so finding a partner isn't or atleast shouldn't be a top priority for you.if you really feel like you've lost feelings for him then break up with him but don't try to go for another person just because you think it's going to make you feel better.
@selfdisciplinedChestnut9003. text me so i can give you my honest opinion on this
Can u text me first, idk how 😅