I think it's unfair how people who hurted me happy while I'm not
everyday I need to remind myself it's okay, I will heal, but then it ends up being my doubt and fear. I still can feel the trauma, and I usually avoid that feeling. iT's unfair.. I want to let go. Are letting go and avoiding the same? They kinda feel the same to me 😕🙏 I don't want to be reminded of that traumatic betrayal ..Can you guys share some tips for me to make peace with myself? thanks in advance.
@hopefulencounter Letting go and avoiding are definitely not the same. Unfortunately, what I've found to work the best is if this is eating at you, you SHOULD let yourself dive into it (as long as you are not a threat to yourself or others). Journal, meditate on it, vent to a friend or the wall or on here, vent through something creative if you can, just explore it and feel the feelings. It might feel like torture, but you can't maintain one emotional state forever and it WILL pass. Then, you can start actually trying to move on. Find distractions that build you back up- who are you? what do you love about yourself? what do you like to do? Think about the future (positively) and reach out to other people. If the trauma keeps following you around, give it the finger and get your feelings out by exercising or doing the opposite of what your fears are holding you back from. Try not to isolate. You deserve the sunshine of this world.
@determinedSea4370 thank you so much for replying to my thread, I really appreciate your kind motivational words 🫶. I've tried listening to affirmations lately, it's really annoying when I got triggered again though 😔. The event already happened months ago but I'm still hurting. I really hope this year I can finally move on from this sadness, maybe it's better if I ignore this person who's bad but seem successful if compared to me..
@hopefulencounter I wouldn't aim to move on from the sadness, but rather, to be able to grow around it and make it less and less painful to yourself to bear. I'm glad you are listening to affirmations! If this person is weighing you down and affecting you negatively and you CAN avoid them, then I say do it. Avoiding them could help you not compare yourself to them too.
@determinedSea4370 thanks again, I will try my best. I know this feeling won't last forever , I need to learn forgiving myself and accepting the situation 😄. I will surely avoid this person, thank you. Maybe one day I'll be able to forgive then forget them completely..
Avoiding what what they do to weigh you down and hurt you is great advice. I had to leave good paying employment because of their abuse to me. That wasn’t fair but how can I prove it. So actually I’m trying to find work fast so I don’t end up homeless
@carefulPlace4854 thank you, I feel so much better now after distancing myself from them.. I know friendships can't be forced so yes I still see them as my friends, but.. I will try not to be so attached to them from now. I wish the best for you, I hope you'll get the best job! 🫶 hugs
@carefulPlace4854 About this horrible person who hurted me, I've decided to completely forget them. If this horrible person can enjoy life while being happy, then I deserve to be happier. Thank you for your reply, really supports me on moving forward 🫶❤️
@hopefulencounter
Are letting go and avoiding the same?
I see them as different things, I view 'letting go' as accepting what is/happened, and acknowledging it happened and is outside your control.
When I think I am avoiding, I think i am denying what is/happened.
On thing that works for me is having set routines, its helps to keep my focus on other things and helps to distract my mind from rumination.
Your not alone in dealing with these issues, others are going through the same.
1 day at a time, to heal will make a difference over time.
@courteousTiger0913 thank you so much for your words, I feel better after hearing this 😊🫶. Now I know what to do, I've been trying to accept things as they are since days ago and I can feel everyday I feel better.. I think there's no use to overthink it anymore. I have to move on, because maybe if I'm still stuck in that point, that's what they wanted. I don't want their horrible actions to be here forever
I wish I could tell you:(
but me myself still after months coming to same old self pity n these feelings I can’t help but be in if I don’t wanna judge it n just letting it pass
bothing more
perhpas time one day heal
who knows
but this hurt happened countless of times due to me not knowing how cruel ppl are n them taking advantage of my caring nature n time like attention n for company I have them
gave them
still hits me unfair sad upset
I just let those feelings be n I try to not think that way like distraction
or I got idea where I try to feel to another persona like feeling like somebody else who doesn’t have these issues which kinda can help at times
or coming here to vent
jhsg Ben n
just vent n write imo:((
Sri if it wasn’t helpful
bjt I had to
gole it’s oka
hooe it’s okay
@livbinny hii, thank you for telling me this. Your world inspired me on this journey of moving forward, thanks for your kind and supportive words 🫶. I've been thinking about accepting things that upset me since 2 days ago, and now everyday I feel better. Like I accept that maybe life can be unfair, but I can't be forever stuck in this bad mood. So that's how I move on.. 🫶 prioritize your feelings, just ignore those bad thoughts and bad memories 😊. We all deserve to be happy
Ur right
im honestly very depressed today
to me that self pity always gets me down from those hard feelings
oh n I forgot to tell u
the protection
i rly try to focus on that for future not to be hurt again
im still like trusting n seeing the goodness but that’s only our reflection not theirs so im trying to rationally stop myself
its hard journey but needed :(
all the best too…
@hopefulencounter Give yourself the love and grace you would give a friend. Be kind to yourself and validate each emotion you feel!
@DrMelissaBerquist you're right, I should treat myself like how I treat a friend. This whole time I've been spending too much time thinking about how people thinks about me, I also think about this one person who's really horrible to me. I envy them how they can easily move on after hurting my feelings.. They even gained a lot of supportive people. I still hate that horrible person, and I'll always will. But now I've accept that it's okay, because I have wasted so much time thinking about this horrible person and now I have to moveeeee onnn because if this bad person can be happy then I can be happier because I'm a good person. I trust that the universe has good surprises for me
@hopefulencounter You are right! And although it can be hard after someone hurts us, I want you think about the age-old quote "If you wouldn't take their advice, don't listen to their judgement". If this person hurt you so deeply, I challenge you to remove them from your mind. They don't deserve to be taking up that kind of space in your head.
What you need to ask yourself is the reason you’re not happy and they are as you’re still fixated on what they are doing rather than living your own best life? I found I did this in the past and honestly you never truly know if they are happy. Social media never shows what’s really going on for people.
we are a prisoner of our own minds and thoughts spiral so when you find yourself thinking of them or why or what went wrong just ask yourself is this serving a purpose. What else could I be thinking of.. I find a jigsaw or something helps me stop the spiral of my thoughts :)
@amusingCar9181 thank you for your kind and supportive words, it really makes me feel better. I'm still learning to accept how badly it hurts me but now I feel much better, I'm no longer so upset about this. And you're right, I must focus on living my best life instead of wasting so much time thinking about this horrible person. So thank you, really. I'll be more kind to myself from now, I wish you a good day/night 🫶
@hopefulencounter..find a conclusion after going in depth and just repeat..relate it with something that u like to do and is totally unrelating to traumatic event, try to face it maybe you find a way,if not then start avoiding and call it precaution from disease
@Manofcommitment thank you so much for your reply, you're right that I must conclude it. Lately I've been feeling better after accepting it :]
I told myself that it's okay, if a bad person can be happy then I can be happier. I wish you a good day/night!
responding to the title here, about seeing people that hurt you succeed.
i’m going through something similar. it really freaking sucks. what’s helped me is to remember that you’ve been provided an obstacle to overcome by the person that hurt you. they likely haven’t had to deal with the same hurt that they caused you.
if you were in a race and somebody tripped you, would you blame yourself for falling behind? comparison can be such a dangerous thing when it comes to healing, even though it’s so easy to get stuck in!! focus on your own growth and journey, even when it’s tough to notice. much love <3
@ohwelliot your words really inspired me! thank you so much for telling me this 🫶. I've realized that there's no point for looking back for too long, I have to leave it all behind. And you're right about how they haven't face something like what I've faced. I feel stronger and much better now. I'll just do whatever's best for me. I feel better by avoiding social medias, I no longer care about online friendships because online friendships make me overthink and question my worth as a person. This year I will just prioritize myself and no longer think about what others think of me 😊. It's tiring to feel anxious all the time so this year I will be kind to myself.
Thank you so much, have a nice day/night!
@hopefulencounter
Journaling, writing whatever you’re thinking so it’s out of your head definitely helps, as does talking to people who you trust with this information as I believe it’s delicate or deep in terms of how personal it is, getting away from it even if it’s just for a while by taking a walk, listening to music, watching something you enjoy, taking a vacation if you can afford it, doing anything that’ll make you smile and be happy with and proud of yourself, all these things can definitely help you.
@akunknown thank you! Yesterday I've tried to write my feelings on a journal, and it's magical how I feel much better. From now on I will write my overthinking on a book then remind myself to not think so much about it since it's already written. Your words help me to feel better, have a wonderful day/night! 🫶
@hopefulencounter
Great job! I’m so proud of you and so happy that it’s helping you!
Hugs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@akunknown 🫂🫂❤️🫂❤️🫂❤️thank you!
@hopefulencounter hi I am shree from India 39 techie and a Mom
@sunshineSalamander68 hi shree :)
