I was told by multiple people to get support and talk to someone...
But to be totally honest I feel justified in being mad, feeling abandoned and coming to terms with my athiesm being accurate. People are afraid for me, but I have no fear . I should have died but did not. I sick of takers, so I'm not giving any longer. For this people tell me I have a problem...hmm..lol..no problem here. I think those who say I need to talk to someone need more help..they are ex druggies and alcoholics. They have their escapes...it's sober ones like me with no escape
@Sandhya60
It sounds like it might be wise to look inwards and really decide for yourself whether or not your thoughts and feelings are problematic. It's okay to feel mad, hurt and abandoned. That doesn't necessarily mean you're wrong in any way. Other people may just not understand and are acting out themselves.
It's also okay to be an atheist. You can draw strength from the knowledge that your life is up to you. You're not being a moral person according to a higher power, you're doing it because you know right from wrong logically. You can be proud of that strength of character.
Don't let self-doubt consume you. Rather, introspect and find your own happiness and peace. I believe you have that power within you.
I cannot speak for the people who told you you need help, and personally I think we all need help, but I wonder if they’re saying you need help because you’ve been through a lot and because talking about things does help us process, not because they’re saying you being done or being an atheist is wrong (because neither are wrong)
But again I don’t know the people who said that so maybe that is what they meant in which case, that does sound more like a projection abt themselves than anything really to do with you
And maybe they know what it’s like to need help and not have gotten it if they are using substances and struggling with that
But like someone else said, it is completely up to you to decide whether your thoughts are problematic
I think it’s incredibly healthy to realize you’ve reached a threshold and decide to draw a boundary, kudos to you because that is not easy to do. And a lot of people ARE takers and us givers need to learn not to give to everyone, some ppl truly aren’t worth of it. So personally I think you are handling things well. Be mad. Set boundaries! It will all protect you!
But from experience I caution about staying mad for too long (which I don’t think applies to you yet but from experience I wish someone had told me this lol). It does help protect us so I don’t want to seem like I’m suggesting not being mad or not withdrawing and focusing on yourself and your Energy, that is totally necessary and healthy. But it’s easy to get stuck being that way. I’m currently actively trying to shed my distrusting and grumpy hard exterior. I can acknowledge it has helped me a lot these last few years. I’ve learned to cut out toxic people and set healthier boundaries and so many wonderful things. But now I fear it’s become a crutch
So I say be mad, be done with certain people, but don’t get stuck that way. Because it can be lonely and can drain and isolate you. And I’m sure you will know what is best for you especially if you continue to allow yourself to think and talk about things : )
@AmethystLotus I too am working through my inflexibility in regards to people. The rules and boundaries I set and needed while doing hardcore recovery in the beginning are becoming way too rigid now. Working on loosing them up a bit now that I'm not as unstable and easily triggered. Baby steps of course.
Glad to hear you’re making these steps! Sending you lots of good vibes 🌙✨
the first part got deleted so let me try again lol
I completely know what you mean, I’m happy to hear you were able to protect yourself when you were going through some hardcore recovery and happy to hear that now that you have healed you want to re-think some of the more rigid boundaries you had and loosen up! I hope that is working out for you ^~^
Happy you’re making these steps! Sending you lots of good vibes 🌙✨
@AmethystLotus Had a setback from Aug-mid October due to people trying to force me into interaction and then finding out my computer had been hacked. Back on the horse now and feeling relatively safe again but still feeling rather paranoid when it comes to dealing with those folks. Crossing fingers my computer stays secured. Thank you for the encouragement. It was nice to come back and find your reply waiting for me.
@Sandhya60 talk to people if you feel like forming new connections. Don't do things just because others tell you to but you can honor their feedback regardless if you wish to take it on. You decide what your needs are.
I was bottled up for too long and yes I too felt i was right in my understanding of things contrary to what people around me wanted me to believe. This can lead to feeling of abandonment and make survival difficult because of self doubt. What worked for me is connecting with more like minded people that I found through apps like these as well as books and popular culture. It boosted my confidence, made me more convinced on things I felt were right, made me think harder on other things I was in the grey about. I have learnt from others as well. The process is ongoing.
I think making connections never hurts...
Hope you do what is best for you.
I have had on going discussions with those who are ex drug addicts ex alcoholics who through rehab turn to religion. Those same people keep wanting me to turn to religion....uuuugh...no thanks..... this is a reply I had to such folks....
No offense..please don't take it as one, but why do addicts, alcohol or drugs, get sucked into religion and then tell non addicts they too, need to join up with addicts..in order to be saved? [Happy?]... the addict actually ends up saying you are the one that needs it...and they are better for it? Meanwhile the non addict is sitting there asking...wtf...you are the addict, you obviously needed this to fill the void you left behind with your drugs or alcohol being left behind. Your emptiness brought you to religion....
So why can't these rehabbed folks realize, their own unhappiness and void had to be filled by something. In my case, literally....my cup runnith over....I would appreciate less from the religious peanut gallery....in that I do not have a void...I'm over flowing and want to dump some baggage not gather more dogma. Am I outta line in getting mad at the born again addicts...?
@Sandhya60 Substance abuse wasn't an escape just self medicating or coping. It feels like an escape when you are under the effects but then when you sober up you realize you just dug your hole a couple feet deeper and it's gonna be harder to get out of so you do some more and the cycle repeats. Thus some people never get out of the hole. I see it amongst way too many of my peers and count my blessings that I had enough support to start to see my worth and get a helping hand out of my hole and leave it behind for good.
I don't do well in groups. I'm a spiritual person but lean heavy to the side of Humanism. I believe in people.
Anyway, one day I was shooting a yoga teacher graduation and was introduced to a teacher that specialized in substance abuse recovery and I started practicing kundalini yoga which in turn taught me the self discipline to start the long process of recovery. No groups, no higher power to answer too, only myself. Yet I would relapse anytime I got emotionally overwhelmed or felt cornered. Finally after riding those ups and downs for another year and not being able to free myself from it I knew I needed pro help. Something else was driving the behavior/intrusive thoughts/anger and avoidance. Yep, good ole unresolved trauma was running show instead of me, myself and I. Did a year of CBT, rooted out the trauma and came away with a great tool set that has allowed me to heal and let go all while incorporating my yoga practice into it. 10 years later I'm stable, have healthy coping mechanisms, I own a house instead of sleeping on friends couches, and I do what I love for a living. I'm not just achieving the goals I had as a kid but exceeding them. And yet the last time I went to see the pysch she said "Geist, ya gotta stop trying to do it all on your own." And here I am. Hanging with my peers getting support and lending mine. Just signing on everyday and answering the 3 questions reminds me that there are total strangers out there that see my worth beyond a dollar sign or what I can do for them and they care about me though all they know about me is that I'm deeply wounded and in need of a hand. They believe in people too.
@Sandhya60 What a lot of religious people seem to forget is that the only way their God is used -in this world- is to perpetuate the narrative that fear = loyalty and forced faith = servitutde.
